Anne
by EricsValkyrie
Summary: Pure Spuffy. Set at the start of the 3rd season. What if Dru had left Spike earlier and he ran into Buffy while she was still in LA. Rated M for lemons and character death in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters and don't own them. I am very grateful to Joss Whedon for his imagination and generosity in allowing us to take them out for a spin. 

Chapter 1 Anne

"Yo! Sweetheart! Can I get some clean silverware?" The man was holding up a spoon as if she didn't know what silverware was. She in turn wondered if he knew what sleeves were since they were missing from both his dingy t-shirt and the even dingier plaid flannel shirt he wore over it.

"Yes, sir. I'll be right there." Buffy replied with the best smile she could muster. Picking through the flatware, she refused to call the poorly pressed bits of metal silverware, it took her two tries to get a complete set that seemed clean. She had always thought the term "greasy spoon" was a euphemism, but since coming to LA and becoming a waitress in one she decided "crusty fork" would be equally apt. "Here you go sir, sorry about that." she offered as she took the dirty utensils from him with one hand as she placed the clean ones in front of him with the other. "Anything else I can get you?'

"Sure thing honey, but it ain't on the menu." He said with a laugh as he slapped her butt. It took all her willpower to not slam the guy's face into the table. But she needed this job and after doing that her first night working, Mitch, her boss, made it clear she'd be fired if she did it again. So she fake-laughed and walked on.

The night wore on, as each night that summer had. Waitressing was harder than slaying. Physically, she would be aching by the end of the night. Sure she had ached pretty bad some nights after slaying, but she had always given as good as she got or she wouldn't still be here. This was just wearing, her feet, back and wrists were always sore and stiff. She constantly felt like she was coated in a fine layer of grease. The worst part was having to smile through the lame jokes, the vulgar passes, and the rude customers, all in an effort to keep her job and get a decent tip. Nor did she have the release of beating up some evil creature.

Then she saw Angel, not Angelus, looking at her in shock, but still reaching out to her, even with the sword pinning him to the statue of Acathla, as he was sucked into the hell vortex. The sugar shaker she was holding shattered as her hands clenched into tight fists. The shards cut into her palm and the physical pain was enough to banish the memory for now.

"Damn it Anne!" She heard Mitch's voice from behind the counter. "What did you break now?" Her gruff boss lumbered around the bar and swore again when he saw her hand. "Shit, that's going to need stitches, now what am I going to do for a waitress for the rest of the night?"

Mr. Compassion, Buffy thought, but she didn't want to lose the night's pay. "No, they're not deep. Let me just go wash them up and put some band-aids on, I'll be fine." She assured him, heading towards the restroom, stopping to grab the first aid kit from under the counter.

"We'll see, take your break to get them cleaned up. I guess I'll have to clean-up this mess." he grunted as he headed to the back to get the broom.

Cleaning the wounds, Buffy scolded herself for her lack of control. This wasn't the first time that she had been blind-sided by that memory and it wasn't getting any easier. She watched as her fingers were already starting to heal, but she was going to have to put bandages on anyway and probably wear them for several days. How long does it take someone who isn't a slayer to heal from cuts like this? And again she wished that she was one of those lucky people who weren't slayers, really, anybody but her. Slaying had ruined everything in her life. She was sure her parents' marriage wouldn't have fallen apart like it had if it weren't for all the trouble she kept getting into. That had made her move from LA to Sunnydale, where she had been asocial pariah, not one of the popular kids like she had been before slaying. And now it had cost her the man that she loved, her home, and her family.

No, this, even though it seemed awful, was better, she would get through one day after the next just like everyone else. She was done with slaying, this was the "normal" life that she had always wanted.

The next night Lily came in to the restaurant again, her tattoo buddy Ricky in tow, she looked panicked, he just looked confused. They didn't sit down, instead she came running up to her. "Anne!"

"I'll be right with you." Buffy replied, refilling napkin holders at the counter.

"Buffy!" Lily said emphatically.

Buffy's head shot up, her eyes wide. "I think you have me confused with someone else."

"No, you saved me once from vampires. I know it's you. You have to come." Customers were looking at the street girl and Ricky. Buffy could hear them muttering, most were sure the young couple were high. She wasn't entirely convinced that wasn't the case.

"There is no such thing as vampires. I think you need to go home and sleep it off." It went against every slayer instinct to deny this girl's cries for help, but she couldn't go back to slaying, not again.

"Is there a problem Anne?" Mitch called out from the kitchen.

"No, no problem she was just leaving." Buffy called back. She faced Lily and spoke low. "You're going to get locked up if you keep talking like this and get me fired and I need this job."

"But I saw one of the vampires, one of the ones from that night. You have to come!" Lily was really scared and she was wringing her hands. Buffy's resolution faltered.

She grabbed Lily's wrist and started pulling her from the restaurant. Once she got her outside she turned the girl and spoke to her quietly. "Look, I get off in an hour, I'll go check it out then. In the meantime go home, lock your door and don't invite anyone in." Ricky had followed them out.

"But we don't have a home, or a door. We've been living in an abandoned building."

"God, I'm going to regret this." Buffy muttered as she dug through her apron pocket. "Here are the keys to my place, wait there, don't let anyone but me in. You got it?" She gave them the address.

"Yes, thank you!" Lily looked so relieved.

"Don't cut down any alleys on the way there, main streets only." She said to their backs as they hurried off.

"Buffy, you're an idiot." She muttered to herself as she reentered the diner. Mitch was waiting for her when she came in.

"What was that all about?" he asked,

"I don't know what she was on." Buffy lied. "I just figured I would humor her to get rid of her faster. Worked didn't it?"

"What did you give her? It wasn't money was it, because if it was you'll never get rid of her."

"No, it was an old cross necklace, it had broken the other day and I had left it in the apron pocket. I told her it would keep the vampires away." she shrugged to make it no big deal.

"Vampires." Mitch scoffed. "You'd think if you were going to take something that fried your brain, it would at least make you see pleasant things. I mean otherwise why bother?"

"Yeah, pleasant things would be nice." she murmured as she turned back to face her customers.

She stood outside the door of her apartment, took a deep breath, inflating her cheeks, then huffed it out. If she opened that door she would be committing herself to hunting down a vampire, if indeed Lily wasn't hallucinating. She tried the knob, but the door was locked, at least they had enough sense to lock the door. Hopefully they hadn't just stolen her few belongings and taken off. She knocked, not having a spare key.

Nothing happened, "Lily open the door it's me A... Buffy." The girl obviously knew who she was, no reason to keep up the pretense.

"Oh thank God!" Came Lily's voice from the other side and then the rattle of the chain and the flipping of the deadbolt. "Come in quick."

"What, did he follow you here?" that was all that she needed some vampire stalking around her place. Buffy closed the door.

"No, I don't think so, I don't think he followed me."

Buffy noticed then that Lily was wrapped in one of her towels and her hair was wet. She could hear the shower running and realized it was probably their first chance to shower in a while.

"Here." Buffy went over to her dresser and grabbed a t-shirt, shorts and underwear, any pants she had would have been much too short on the taller girl. "You can wear these, I'm afraid I don't have anything for Ricky."

"Really?" Lily looked like it was Christmas. She grabbed the clothes and ducked into the bathroom coming out less than a minute later clothed.

"Okay, Lily, tell me about the vampires. When did I rescue you?" Buffy didn't remember the girl and she had been trying since the other day.

"I was a friend of Ford's, he said the vampires were going to gift us with immortality, but they just wanted to hurt us."

Buffy remembered now. How her old friend from LA had shown up with a scheme to "cure" his brain tumor by becoming a vampire, offering up Buffy and a bunch of vampire wannabes in trade.

She hung her head. "Great, part of Spike's old gang. Which one did you see? Describe him to me."

"It was the one who bit me. The one with blond hair, I think he was in charge."

Buffy grabbed Lily's shoulders. "Spike? Spike is here in LA? British accent? Leather coat?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, him." She was obviously freaked out by Buffy's reaction. "Is it bad?"

"Bad? It's way past bad. We passed bad three exits ago." She grabbed another t-shirt and jeans out of the drawer. "Can you tell Ricky to hurry up? I've got to change and get out there." She turned toward the mirror on her dresser, brushing back her hair into a pony tail.

"Okay." Lily again ran into the bathroom and the water stopped. "He'll be right out." she said quietly.

Buffy was grabbing a stake and a cross out of her duffel bag. "Where did you see him?"

"Like I said it was with Ford..."

"No! Tonight, where did you see him tonight?" Buffy had no patience for the girl's ditziness, not when William the Bloody was involved.

"By that closed down gas station about a block from your restaurant. He was leaning against the wall smoking and Ricky was going to try to bum some cigarettes off of him, but I recognized him and yelled at Ricky to run. So we did, but he didn't chase us. When I looked back he was just kind of laughing. Then I came to find you because I know you know what to do and I never know." She flapped her arms to her side, like a helpless bird.

Ricky came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. "Sorry."

"S'okay." Buffy said as she hurried past him to the bathroom. In less than five minutes she was back out. All she needed were some shoes. She grabbed a short pair of boots, that had a solid block heel. If she was going to kick Spike, she wanted him to feel it.

"Sorry Lily made such a scene, I tried to tell her she was being silly. That there was no way that guy was a vampire." Ricky looked vaguely embarrassed, standing there in the towel, not looking at Lily.

"Sorry Ricky, she's right. If it is Spike, he is a two can stay here tonight. Fix yourself something to eat." Then she left.

She started her search for Spike where Lily had last seen him. But he was long gone, she silently berated herself for not listening to Lily when she came into the restaurant instead of brushing her off. If Spike kills anyone tonight it will be her fault, just like it always was. She was never where she needed to be, never fast enough, clever enough, strong enough to keep everyone safe.

Searching the ground there were a lot of cigarette butts, but some did look fresh. But lots of people smoked, that didn't prove Spike was here. She would just have to start looking. She went up and down the streets and alleys looking for any sign of Spike. She actually woke several homeless people who were sleeping in alleys or doorways, making sure they weren't dead. This would be a great place for a vampire to hunt. So many nameless people who wouldn't be missed, who didn't fight back, just cringed at any attention or contact. She came across several people who said nothing but "I'm no one." when she tried to talk to them. These people were broken.

She had been searching for almost two hours when she saw a blood bank. That was a possibility. She had fought off vampires from blood banks and hospitals before. Spike had always seemed the type to prefer a good hunt, but it was worth a shot.

Of course at this hour, it must be close to midnight, it was closed but she tried the front door anyway. It was locked, but she thought she heard movement inside. She went around to the back and the door there was propped open. She listened at the opening, no sounds of a fight, or the place being tossed, but definitely movement. She almost went in, but stopped when she thought of how much damage a fight with Spike would do inside the building, so she waited behind the door. Soon she heard footsteps and humming. Peeking carefully around the door, she smiled when she saw it was him. Pulling back, she waited until she saw his bleached blond hair and punched him in the jaw with everything she had.

"Bloody hell!" he shouted as he stumbled to the side with the force of the blow. But he quickly spun around in a defensive stance. The shocked look on his face when he saw who hit him was almost comical. "Slayer!?"

"Yep, lil ol' me." she feinted with her fist then kicked hard at his knee. "What are you doing in LA Spike? Geometry was never my best subject, but I'm pretty sure California is part of the US."

He managed to grab her arm on her next swing and flipped her. She landed on her feet but just barely, "I think you mean geography, luv." he chuckled as he kicked her in the side.

"I knew that," she said defensively, Damn, why did she have to make herself look like an idiot in front of him, and why did she care? "just making with the funny."

"Uh-huh." he didn't sound convinced. They traded several flurries of punches, unfortunately, his seemed to land true more often than hers. "What are you doing away from Sunnyhell? Aren't the slayerettes going to pine away without you?"

"I'll be asking the questions here Spike, I'm the interrogator not the interrogatee." Her round house kick barely grazed him. She went the whole summer without punching anything but her pillow, taking on Spike might have been a gross miscalculation.

"Looks like the only thing you're slaying tonight is the english language, pet. Are you sure you're from an english-speaking country?" His right hook connected with her jaw and she almost went down. She danced back a little ways to give herself time to shake off the effects of the blow.

But Spike gave her no break and pressed his advantage, coming at her swinging so she could only defend herself as she backed away. He began chuckling and stopped his assault, he half turned away from her, "Slayer, Slayer, Slayer."

Then she made the rookie mistake of dropping her guard and he kicked her square in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her flying against the alley wall. She slid down the bricks as she gasped for air. He stepped up and towered over her. This is it, she thought, Spike 3, slayers 0. She braced for the killing blow, instead he tilted his head to the side and asked, "What's wrong with you Slayer?"

She glared up at him "Knocked..." gasp "..."the wind..."

"Aware of that." he replied rolling his eyes. "Fancy I cracked a few ribs too." He smiled proudly. "But what's wrong with you that I was able to? Last time we fought you would have dodged that kick easy."

Finally she had caught her breath."You just got a lucky kick in is all." She worked to get her feet under her, confused that he didn't go in for a kill.

"Bollocks." He stepped back and let her stand-up. She did so warily, trying to figure out what he was playing at. "You're off your game tonight, luv. Why?" While he looked like he was standing there casually, she could tell he was ready for any attack.

"Can we just fight?" She really didn't want to have this talk, especially with Spike. She took a swing at him that he easily dodged.

"Are you sure that's what you want Slayer? I've already had you dead to rights once. Way you're fighting tonight you aren't going to win." He then drove the point home with a series of kicks and punches, most of which she failed to avoid. Then he spun her and pulled her in so her back was pressed against him. She struggled but couldn't break his hold. Making a show of vamping out, he lowered his mouth to her throat. She gasped as his teeth scraped her neck, but he didn't bite her, instead he whispered in her ear. "That's twice dead." Then spun her away, chuckling.

He's kicking my butt and he hadn't even vamped out yet, she thought. I'm so doomed. She pulled her stake out of her back pocket. If she got even the slightest chance she would have to use it. She couldn't afford to let this fight go on any longer than necessary.

"What do you think you're going to do with that?" he scoffed as he slowly circled her.

"Well the pointy end goes into your heart..." And she dashed forward, punching and kicking him. Or at him would be more accurate since he blocked every one easily. Then, to add insult to injury, he managed to knock the stake from her hand. He took a step back, indicating with a broad sweep of his arm that she could fetch the little piece of wood, a smug look on his face.

Okay now he's just making me mad. Not trusting him she did an acrobatic roll to pick up the stake and land on her feet. He hadn't moved, he really wasn't afraid of her, and he was right, she just didn't have the skills tonight. She had always complained about Giles' training sessions, convinced that it was her supernatural slayer abilities that let her defeat the bad guys, but it had been too long without her exercising her skills. She took a deep breath to focus, willing Spike to give her any kind of an opening, but he didn't. Thinking about her attack this time, she took a few steps around him. He stood in place but followed her with his eyes. His eyes drifted down and he tilted his head slightly.

She stopped. "Did you just check out my butt?"

"What?" His head shot up, his eyebrows raised. "No! I was just making sure you weren't tensing to kick me is all." But he looked sheepish.

"You _were _checking out my butt." Then while he was shaking his head to deny it again she did a high kick, catching him in the jaw, but not nearly as hard as she hoped it would. While he was still leaning back from the kick, she tried to stake him, but he was ready. He grabbed the wrist of the hand holding the stake and twisted it back. She gasped in pain.

"Buffy, third time's the charm." he said softly,

"Hunh?" she struggled to try to figure out what he was saying through the pain, she turned to look at him. He tugged on her twisted arm and she stumbled toward him. The last thing she saw was his fist a split second before it collided with the side of her head.


	2. Chapter 2 Ground Rules

Thank you for the reviews to Chapter 1, I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well.

Again, I don't own anything. All praise and credit should go to Joss.

Chapter 2 Ground Rules

The pain woke her up, her whole body ached, some areas were a dull throb while others were a more urgent tempo of agony. The worst was her head, the right side hurt, and with each heartbeat it felt like she was being hit again. She tried to move her hand to her head and found she couldn't move it. The realization she was restrained brought her fully awake and alert. She opened her eyes and tried to sit, but the restraints wouldn't permit it. In near panic she looked around her, she needed to access the situation. She was in a dingy apartment or hotel, not that much different from her own. She was on her back manacled to a bed, actual metal, medieval-looking manacles, does anyone even make those anymore? She was still dressed, so that was good. She tried to think. The last thing she remembered was fighting Spike and losing. She hadn't expected to wake up at all, why hadn't Spike killed her? Is he the one who brought her here or did he leave her lying in that alley and someone else found her? She wasn't sure which would be worse.

It wasn't until it was turned off that she realized water had been running nearby, a shower maybe. If it was her captor that meant he would be back momentarily. She strained at her bonds, the bed frame creaked but the manacles held. If she had enough time she could maybe break the frame, but she heard the rattle of the doorknob. She decided to pretend to still be unconscious, whoever it was might leave her for longer if he thought she was still out.

She heard bare feet on the linoleum floor and another door open, maybe her plan was working she thought hopefully. She had to fight the urge to open her eyes just a sliver to glimpse her captor.

"I can tell you're awake, luv. Heart rate's up." Spike's vaguely amused voice floated towards her.

She let out a sigh. "Dammit Spike why..." she stopped when she saw him, he was standing at the door of what was obviously his closet. His platinum hair plastered to his head, little drops of water rolling down to his alabaster chest, and further down to the towel he had wrapped low on his waist like a skirt. "Why don't you have any clothes on?" she asked warily.

"Because I just got out of the shower." He turned towards the closet and selected a shirt. "You don't have to worry about whatever virtue you have left." He turned back towards her. "If that was what I was planning _you_ wouldn't have any clothes on either." He did however give her a lusty look and curled his tongue up behind his teeth. "Not that it hadn't crossed my mind." He pulled the t-shirt on over his head and Buffy couldn't help but watch his muscled torso. He had always looked lean, almost thin, she wondered how he could be so strong but she didn't have to wonder anymore he was nothing but muscles. "Slayer, are you checking out my chest?" Spike said in mock indignation.

She jumped guiltily. "I was just surprised at how muscled you are...not that I've ever thought of your muscles." she quickly backpeddled. She could feel her cheeks burn.

He chuckled. "I guess turnabout is fair play, I _had_ checked out your bum earlier. Hadn't meant to, just caught my eye." He turned back to the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans, then dropped the towel with no warning.

"Oh my god Spike." she yelled and quickly turned her head away. She had never seen a guy's naked butt before. Sure she and Angel had made love, but it was dark and she was shy and there were sheets.

"That's usually the reaction I get from the front view..." he joked then stopped. She heard him walk up to the bed but she kept her head turned and her eyes tightly shut. "Slayer, look at me." he said softly.

"Are you decent?" She asked through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, all put away." He whispered. She turned her head slightly and opened her eyes, flicking them over him before breathing a sigh of relief and looking at his adam's apple, unable to meet his eyes.

"You _have_ been with a man before, haven't you?"

"If I have a choice here Spike I would prefer not to die of embarrassment," She still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Answer the question Slayer. Those Watcher prigs don't make you take a vow or what-not, do they?"

She was going to refuse to answer, then it occurred to her that if he thought that she was a virgin he might decide to "fix" that situation. "Don't worry Spike, go ahead and kill me, I won't die a virgin." Then something struck her, she looked at him puzzled. "Angel never told you?"

"You gave it up to that wanker?" Spike looked disgusted. He moved away from the bed and walked over to the refrigerator.

Great, even the evil dead disapprove of my taste in men. She stared at the ceiling, willing this night to end even if it was with Spike killing her.

"Wait a mo, _when_ did you shag him?" He asked over the top of the fridge door. She glared at him. "Is that how he lost his soul?" Her eyes filled with tears and she turned her head away. "What kind of messed up slayer power is that? Turning a lame soul-having vampire into a soulless monster?"

"Dammit Spike! It isn't a slayer power, it was how the gypsy curse worked. Now will you just kill me and get it over with?" she shouted at him.

"No." he said simply, his back to her. He was doing something in the kitchen area.

"No what?"

"No, I'm not going to kill you, least not tonight." He put something in the microwave, pushed a few buttons, and turned to face her, leaning against the counter, his arms crossed in front of him.

"You're not?" she asked in disbelief. He smirked and shook his head. "Then why am I here?"

"It looked like you were going to be out of it for awhile, I couldn't just leave you unconscious in an alley. Something nasty might have gotten you."

"Something nasty does have me." she pointed out. "Why didn't you just finish me off? Isn't that your thing, killing slayers?"

The microwave beeped and he turned to open it. "Didn't seem right." his shoulders shrugged slightly.

"It usually feels right to kill a slayer?"

"You were completely off your game tonight pet. You'll be my third slayer and it needs to mean something. If I'd killed you tonight it would have been a hollow victory. Would have cheapened it." He turned back around, he took a swig out of the coffee mug he was holding, it left his lips covered in blood.

So she was so pathetic now she wasn't even worth killing, tonight just kept getting better and better. "You were willing to kill me at Halloween when I was all "damsel in distress."

"Yeah, being stuck in that sodden wheelchair gave me a lot of time to think. You'll note, I was even willing to destroy the world by bringing back the Judge not that long ago. Made me think about what was important."

"Okay, you couldn't kill me, cause I didn't put up a good enough fight. You didn't leave me unconscious in the alley because, apparently, buried someplace deep in you there's a shred of decency. Which, by the way, huge surprise." he looked offended at that but she pressed on. "You said you had decided against raping me, so why am I manacled to your bed?"

He set down the mug and walked slowly to the bed, he stared down at her with a dark look on his face. "You know Slayer," his voice had become a threatening whisper. He ran the back of a finger down the inside of her arm, she tried to jerk away from him, but the chains were too short, "with the position you are in right now, I would be careful about insulting a bloke's honor." He put one knee on the bed followed by the other, then swung one leg over her so he was straddling her hips. He let his weight settle on her, his pelvis pressed to hers, leaning forward he placed one hand on either side of her head. He stared down at her, his face barely an inch from her own. "Especially when said honor is the only thing keeping you alive and unviolated."

Her heart had leapt into her throat, she tried to swallow it down but her mouth had gone completely dry. She was afraid to move, afraid any struggling would incite the predator in him. His eyes were so intense, angry, unblinking. She could smell the blood on his breath, mingling with her own. This was so bad. Her mouth had gotten her in all sorts of trouble before, but never like this. She tried to speak but at first nothing came out. She licked her lips and tried again. "You're right Spike, I'm sorry." she whispered.

He smiled, his eyebrows high and he sat back on her, his hands slapping palms down on his knees. "Alright then. Glad we got that sorted out." he swung off her in a fluid movement and retrieved his mug, taking another sip.

She let out a shaky sigh, willing her heart to slow down. Her head was spinning and she could feel the adrenalin running through her. That's what had been missing during the fight, her body just didn't get in gear and get her pumped up for it. Or was she really so miserable that she hadn't cared enough about the outcome of the fight? Only when she was threatened with "a fate worse than death" had she responded.

As the pounding of the blood in her ears receded she realized Spike was talking to her.

"Earth to Buffy." He came and stood over her again, "You all right there, pet?"

"Yeah, peachy." She fought to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "What did you say?"

"I was asking what your question was when you had decided to cast aspersions on my better nature." He looked fairly amused.

"Oh, why am I shackled?" She decided to leave the 'to your bed' part unsaid.

"I wanted to take a shower and I didn't fancy you waking up and attacking me, end up having to fight with conditioner running into my eyes. Stuff burns."

"So you're out of the shower now, can I go?" she asked hopefully.

He drained his mug and set it down. Then he walked to the foot of the bed and leaned on the top of the steel footboard she was chained to. "The thing is Slayer, if I let you go now, you'll know where I am and you can just sneak in and stake me while I sleep. It's almost dawn so it's too late for me to move, so I think we are going to end up having a little slumber party, I'll let you go tonight when I get up." He patted her foot.

"What?"

"You know, a slumber party." He smiled giddily, like a middle school girl. "Stay up til the wee hours talking about boys, making crank phone calls, braiding each other's hair." He looked upwards. "Well, braiding your hair I guess." His eyes were sparkling at his own wit.

"Spike, I can't stay here all day." she tried to sound reasonable.

"Why not?"

"Because I'll lose my job."

"You have a job? Doing what?"

"I'm a waitress and if I just don't show up, I''ll get fired."

"Call in sick."

"You'll let me use the phone?"

"I dial, listen in, you talk, tip anyone off you die." He said it as if it were just another to-do list.

"What about food?" she was looking for any reason for him to let her go.

"Peckish?" he walked back to the kitchen and began opening cupboards. "You can survive the day on strawberry poptarts and microwave popcorn."

Her voice got really small and she shifted uncomfortably. "I need to pee."

He sighed, "Fine." He grabbed the key from a cupboard well out of her reach. "Keep still." He instructed as he detached the chain of one leg iron from the bedframe. He then detached the chain from her other leg and attached the other, chaining her legs together.

"Really? I have to go to the bathroom shackled?"

"Unless you want me in there with you. Not really my cup of tea, watching ladies go to the loo, but I'll cope. Your choice." he shrugged and waited for her decision.

"Fine, the shackles." There was no way she would pee in front of Spike.

He shrugged and moved up to her hands. "If you try anything, escape, attacking me, whatever, you'll end up sleeping on the floor with no bathroom privileges." He looked at her and she nodded her understanding.

She was surprised when he released her hands from the shackles instead of just detaching them from the bed. She almost commented on it but decided not to push her luck. She took a tentative step, he had given her enough slack so she could walk, albeit with short strides, but not enough that she could run or kick. "Thank you." she offered as she walked by him.

"Don't take too long, I don't knock." he warned her.

"Okay." She went into the bathroom and closed the door, leaning her head against it. God what a mess. She was so at Spike's mercy, and he had never shown any before. Shackled like this she really couldn't fight him. No one knew where she was so there would be no friends coming to the rescue. If he decided not to let her go come sundown she couldn't see what she could do about it, unless he got careless and fell asleep with the key within reach, but she doubted even he would be so reckless. She felt tears sting her eyes but she fought them back, tears wouldn't work on Spike and she had been wallowing in self-pity all summer and she was none the better for it. No, she would just have to go along with him for now, keep her big mouth from pissing him off again and look for a reasonable opening.

Even though she hadn't felt a pressing need, she figured she better use the facilities while she had the opportunity since she didn't know if he would give her another. As she went to wash her hands she glanced in the mirror, she looked awful, her hair was a total mess, with debris from the alley and possibly some caked blood. The side of her face was still bruised and swollen and her eyes were all puffy from their attempt at crying. She splashed water on her face and did the best she could to rinse the gunk from her hair. It was only when she was done that she realized there was no towel.

"Spike..." she called as she opened the door, startled to find him right outside it. "Do you have a towel?" she asked in a softer voice holding up her dripping hands.

"Yeah." he went and picked up the one off the floor that he had worn out of the bathroom.

"But that was just wrapped around your..." she didn't finish the sentence.

"It doesn't have cooties, luv. It's the only one I've got, take it or leave it." he held it out to her and she took it but tried to use only the smallest possible corner of it. He shook his head and chuckled as he walked away. "Back on the bed when you're dry, might want to take your boots off."

"Can I use your hairbrush?" she eyed the bed with dread.

"Sure, but I was just teasing about braiding your hair." He opened the microwave and pulled out a bag of popcorn, she wondered if that was how he timed her bathroom trip.

"Darn." she said glibly, before reminding herself to watch her sarcasm. She hung up the towel and grabbed the brush from the counter. She slowly walked towards the bed, "Please Spike, do we have to do this? I promise I won't dust you while you're sleeping."

He looked at her for a minute and she actually let herself hope he would let her go. But then he shook his head. "Sorry pet. It won't be so bad."

"It's humiliating." she mumbled with her head down. "We were able to make a deal before."

"That was different, we had to trust each other, and if one of us didn't come through it wouldn't work out for the other. This time you want your freedom, I don't want to wake up a pile of dust. No guarantee for me that if I let you go you won't go back on your word."

She sat on the side of the bed. Looking at it objectively she couldn't fault his logic. The Slayer/vampire relationship has never been one of trust. Their previous truce was an aberration born of desperation. She brushed the dry side of her hair first, then started on the wet. Her head hurt as she pulled the brush through it.

"Do you have any ice?" she asked, touching her scalp gingerly.

"Still smarting is it?" He opened the freezer door. "Yep, got a bit right here, hold on." He took a couple of ice cube trays out and started looking around. Finally grabbing a plastic grocery bag and cracking the ice into it. "Want a drink?" he offered. She nodded actually surprised that he was being so nice. Not that she would say it. He grabbed a short glass and put a handful of ice into it before tying off the bag and bringing it to her. "Not a proper ice pack, but it'll do." He moved the pillow behind her so it was propped up against the head board. "Go on sit back." he gestured.

"Sit?" she had expected to be chained down again.

"Just so you can eat. I'm not going to sit here feeding you one sodding piece of popcorn at a time, am I now?" She scooted back against the pillow and let him manacle her hands again. The chain seemed longer, she could actually rest her hands in her lap. She put the ice pack against her head and it felt better immediately.

He went back to the kitchen, she just closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillow.

"Here you go." he said from next to her, startling her more than it should have. He was handing her a glass.

"Thank you." She took a drink which triggered a coughing fit.

Spike chuckled, "Smooth isn't it?"

"What the hell is it?" she gasped staring at the light brown liquid.

"Whiskey, what did you think it was?" He took a sip from his own glass as he settled on the foot of the bed facing her, he put the bowl of popcorn between them.

"Iced tea maybe? You do know I'm only 17 right?"

"And I care about the drinking age?" he scoffed.

She set the drink on the rickety stand by the bed. "Do you have anything else to drink?"

"Blood." he offered.

She made a yuck face, started to say something then thought the better of it.

"What is it?" Spike asked rolling his eyes.

"I can't let you keep stealing from the blood bank."

"Is that why you wouldn't give up the fight tonight?" She nodded. "Shouldn't have gotten your knickers in a twist, I didn't nick it, paid good money for it."

"The blood bank sells blood to vampires?"

"Lots of them do, cuts down on the break-ins." he shrugged. "They usually won't part with the good stuff, but most of the workers don't mind making some extra money. Hell, some of them will even pay drug addicts for their blood, just to turn it around." He grabbed a handful of popcorn.

She glanced at her watch, the diner would be open for the breakfast crowd. "I need to call work."

Spike pulled a cell phone from his pocket, "What's the name of the place?"

"I can tell you the number." she offered.

"Nope, I want to make sure it's a real place, not you using some code with your friends." She gave him the name and the cross streets and listened as he called information and had them connect him.

He moved next to her on the bed, shifting the phone to the side of her face, but tilting it so he could listen, his face was right up next to hers. "Remember, I think you're trying to send a message, you die" She gave a little nod.

"Mitch's Place." came the voice on the other end of the phone. Buffy didn't know the name of most of the morning staff.

"Is Mitch there?" She asked, trying to sound sick.

"Yeah, hold on." she could hear the activity of a restaurant in the background. Glancing at Spike she whispered, "I don't use my real name at work." then a gruff voice came over the line.

"This is Mitch."

"Mitch, this is Anne." Spike pulled his head back to look at her, an odd expression in his eyes. "I can't make it in today. I've been sick all night."

"Your shift doesn't start til 2, maybe you'll be up to it then." Mitch hated it when people didn't come in.

"I wouldn't count on it." She warned him. "I feel like I'm at death's door, I doubt if I'll be able to get out of bed all day."

"Fine." he sounded disgruntled, is gruntled a good thing if disgruntled is bad? she thought to herself. "Just get your butt in here tomorrow."

"I'll do my best, bye."

Spike ended the call. "Why Anne?" he asked. While his face was no longer pressed against hers, he was still sitting next to her on the bed.

"It's my middle name."

"That was me mum's name." he tilted his head slightly. "What's your first name?"

"Buff-y." she said loudly and slowly like he was deaf or stupid.

"Not your petname, your real first name."

"'Buffy is my first name, on my birth certificate and everything."

"Your mum seriously named you Buffy?" he laughed. "I thought she seemed a little slow on the uptake, not figuring out you're the slayer after all this time. But what kind of a git names a person Buffy?"

"Leave my mom out of this." she mumbled. She didn't want to talk about her mom especially not that last night. She focussed on the popcorn bowl and took a few pieces, placing them in her mouth one at a time.

"What's up with your mum anyway. Why'd she move you out of Sunnyhell?"

"She didn't." she so did not want to talk to Spike about this.

"Then what are you doing here, and why are you working in that grease trap."

"You've seen the restaurant?" God, had he seen her working there? That would be so embarrassing. Wait, no, he didn't seem to know that she even had a job.

"Walked by it a few times. So why are you working there?" he pressed.

"Mom kicked me out." she wouldn't look at him.

"Ooh, this sounds juicy." He actually sounded interested. "Whatchya do to get the old heave ho?"

"Spike, do we really have to talk about this?" Her eyes were tearing up and she tried to blink them away. "Didn't you want to go to sleep?"

"Nope, this is much more interesting. Like I said, a slumber party. So what did a pillar of virtue like yourself do to piss off your mum?"

"I saved the world." she actually reached for the whiskey, maybe it would deaden the pain a little, or maybe she would pass out and not have to endure this.

"Come again."

"After you left that night we got in a fight. She didn't want me to leave. She thought she could stop me from doing the slayer thing. I yelled at her, she yelled at me. I went to leave and she gave me an ultimatum. If I go I couldn't come back." She took another drink.

"You really think she doesn't want you to come back?" Now it was his turn to look at her like she was stupid.

"It's what she said." She picked through the popcorn, not eating any, just shifting it in the bowl, mainly so she could look anywhere but at him.

He shifted on the bed so he was in front of her, facing her.

"Buffy, your mum was in shock that night." When she didn't look up he grabbed her hand. She glared at him. "I could see it. The police were looking for you, a vampire had rushed her, she saw you kill it and then she finds out that her daughter has some mystical destiny that threatens her life on a nightly basis." He half smiled. "Blimey, that she didn't go catatonic is pretty amazing."

His hand was cool and his touch light, it was actually pretty calming, but she pulled hers away.

"Have you talked to her since?" She shook her head, taking another sip.

"Does she even know if you're alive?"

"I snuck back in to get my stuff and left a note. But she doesn't know where I am."

"And your Watcher?"

She shook her head. "No, I just left. I wanted to be done with it. Not be the Slayer anymore."

"Then why did you come after me tonight?" He leaned over, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Someone recognized me, and then they recognized you so they came to me for help. I should have just ignored her and moved on." She took another drink. It seemed to be going down easier now.

"Skinny, blonde girl, dumb-looking boy in tow?" he asked.

"That's her. She was one of the vamp wannabes my friend Ford led to the slaughter. She figured I saved her from you once, I could do it again." She scoffed. "Shows what she knows." She put a handful of popcorn into her mouth. Maybe that would stop her from talking.

"Silly bint, I didn't threaten her, just minding my own business. She starts yelling and making a fuss. I didn't even recognize her, she's come down in the world."

"So what are you doing in LA Spike? You had promised to take Dru and leave the country."

This time he looked evasive. "Just passing through is all."

"Un-unh, I told you the truth now it's your turn. Fair's fair."

He sat up a little, "Are you saying you want to play 'truth or dare' Slayer?"

"No." she said defensively, she _so_ did not want to play that game with someone as devious as Spike. "It's just not fair that I'm spilling my guts, metaphorically, and you don't have to."

"No, I think 'truth or dare' is the perfect addition to our slumber party. Come on, we each get to set one ground rule. Mine is you can't dare me to let you go, what's yours." He looked way too excited about the whole thing. She began to emphatically shake her head. "The Slayer's too chicken for a little game?" he goaded.

"Fine, but nothing sexual." She took another sip, she must be out of her mind to agree to this.

"Little vague there luv. Care to define that a little bit better?"

Her cheeks flushed. "You know what sexual means Spike."

"Lots of things can be sexual pet. Even talking."

"I mean _really_ sexual."

"You don't think talking can be really sexual?" She shook her head, he was being purposely obtuse.

"Really?" He leaned forward slightly, his eyes switching from mocking her to an intense hunger, they slowly traveled down her body then back up to her eyes. "I'm going to kiss you Slayer. Long and deep. Kiss you til you gasp for air. When I do let you breathe, I'm going to trail my lips down your neck. Kissing you where I should be biting you, right along your pulse, so I can feel it quicken with your desire." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opened them, they again gazed down her body, pausing at her chest. "I'm going to touch you. My hands caressing your body, finding all the secret spots that feed the need within you, as my mouth continues down. I nip lightly on your collarbone, then continue down, down to your breasts. I kiss you through your shirt. The material, rough against your skin, heightens the pleasure, and my hands keep exploring you, feeling your muscles tremble at my touch. Your whole body is on fire, burning, but you want me to fan the flames not extinguish them." He paused again, his tongue curled up behind his teeth. She couldn't move, enraptured by his words, not sure if she was more afraid that he would do what he said or that he wouldn't. His eyes shifted to her mouth and she licked her lips automatically. Slowly his face moved closer to hers, tilting slightly as his lips parted. Her breath caught as his lips brushed hers, but he stopped and whispered, "Talking can be the most sexual thing of all, can't it?" He flipped back to the foot of the bed, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

She swayed slightly forward, catching herself leaning in for his kiss, angry that she let him get to her like that and that he knew it. Letting out a shaky breath she agreed, "Yeah, I get that now."

"So be more specific, and not too all encompassing or you lose your rule."

"Fine." she thought about what boundaries she wanted to set and what he might let her get away with. Finally she said, "No part of me comes in contact with your...um" She glanced at his crotch but couldn't think of a word she was willing to call it.

"Wedding tackle?" he supplied, obviously enjoying her discomfort.

"Okaaaay..." she said dubiously, she had never heard that euphemism, but hoped it meant what it sounded like. "and no part of you touches my..."

"Goodies?"

"Yeah, those." she agreed.

"Takes some of the fun out of it, but agreed." He reached out his hand to seal the deal. Shifting the ice pack to her other hand she shook his. "Surprised, though that you didn't say clothes stay on, this will be fun."


	3. Chapter 3 The Game

I went back and checked because I knew I had read another fanfic with Buffy, Spike and Truth or dare. But I think that this is different enough that I am not stepping on NautiBitz' toes. If not I apologize and no plagiarism was intended.

Thanks again for everyone who have reviewed the story so far. The encouragement is great.

And of course, the characters are not mine. All credit goes to Joss Whedon and his wonderful associates.

Chapter 3 The Game

Buffy closed her eyes and slowly shook her head at her own recklessness, she couldn't believe what she had agreed to.

"You're dripping." Spike's voice pierced her reflections.

Her eyes opened wide. Okay he did turn her on with his dirty talk but not that much. "What? No. I..." she stammered.

He chuckled, "The ice pack pet." he clarified, holding out his hand, "Are you done with it?"

"Oh." She pulled it away from her head, it was pretty much a bag of water at this point. "Yes, thank you." She handed it to him carefully.

He jumped off the bed, grabbing his now empty glass. "Fancy a refill Slayer?" he offered.

She started to decline, holding up her glass to show him, and she realized it was almost empty. When did that happen? "I guess one more would be okay." she gave him the glass.

She picked the brush back up and started again on her hair. It was slow going, for although the ice did seem to have helped, her scalp was still sore. Plus the manacles were cumbersome.

Handing her her drink, he jumped unto the bed, landing cross-legged opposite her. He was almost giddy.

"Okay, now answer my question." She demanded.

"You forgot to say 'truth or dare'."

She sighed in exasperation. "Alright, truth or dare?"

"Dare." His eyes were sparkling.

"Really? After all that you aren't going to tell me?"

"I always take the dare." he said it as if it should have been obvious. "So what devious command do you have for me?"

"Like I could think of something too disgusting for you to do."

"Hey, I do have some pride you know."

"Whatever, let me think." The brush caught painfully in her hair again. And it gave her an idea. "Brush and braid my hair, and don't make it hurt." she offered him the brush.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. You going to do it? Or do I win?" She tilted her head, "Wait, what happens if one of us wins?" The few times she played the game it just sort of petered out.

"Don't rightly know." He took the brush and thought about it. "So if someone won't answer a question and refuses the dare, they lose and the other one gets to negate their ground rule."

"What!? Are you insane? There is no way I'm going to... you can't touch..." she put her drink between her legs and buried her face in her hands. "Please Spike will you just kill me now?"

"Are you planning on losing?" he asked.

"No, but..." She looked up.

"Look. If I win I'll let you decide who does the touching, just not what or how. I won't shag you, cause I told you I wouldn't." Her cheeks were burning, like they were about to burst into flames. "All you have to worry about is a little embarrassment. I have to worry about waking up dead. Now are you game?"

That was true, this was potentially a way for her to get her freedom back, she just had to be sure she didn't lose. She took a big swig out of her glass, She was really going to need the courage it was purported to provide. Then she gave a determined nod.

"That's my girl." He moved to be beside her on the bed, "Turn around so your back is to me." She did awkwardly trying not to spill either her drink or the popcorn. As she did she decided she would take her boots off. She had initially left them on in case she had to make a hasty escape, but she really didn't see that happening. Either she dusted Spike, not very likely, or she would win the game and her get out of jail free card.

"Sit still." Spike chided.

"Hold your horses." she countered. Once she had both boots off she picked up her drink and grabbed a handful of popcorn. "There, you may proceed." she said imperiously, but ruined the effect with a giggle which turned into a snort.

"Yes, your highness." he mocked.

He started where her hair was the most tangled and the brush caught. "Ow! It's not supposed to hurt."

"Yeah, yeah, hold on." He shifted to his knees behind her. "It's a right mess of elf-locks you got here." He took a section of hair and started brushing near the bottom in short strokes.

"I've got what?"

"Elf-locks, you've never heard of that before?" She shook her head slightly. "It's what me mum called it when I was a boy. As if the pixies had come in while I was sleeping and tied knots in my hair."

"Oh." She thought about it for a moment. "I like it better than what my mom always called it."

"Which was?" he prompted.

"A rat's nest."

"That's not very flattering, is it?"

"I'll say, and I used to lie awake at night scared that there were really rats."

He resumed brushing her hair. "So, truth or dare?" he asked.

"Un-unh, you have to finish your dare first." The longer each turn takes the fewer embarrassing things she would have to tell or do.

"Where's that written?" He moved so he could see her face.

"Same place as 'ground rules go out the window if you lose' is. Oops." She had made a whooshing motion with her arm and some of the whiskey sloshed out of the glass. She giggled and licked her fingers. She noticed Spike watching her with a flicker of that hunger in his eyes and became very self conscious. She realized the alcohol was kicking in. Carefully she set down the glass and looked straight ahead. "Come on, back to my hair."

"Yes guv'nor." his accent exaggerated.

His hands were surprisingly gentle on her head and he began to hum as he worked, it seemed old from the tune. He got all the tangles out with minimal pulling then spent quite awhile just brushing her hair, following the brush with his hand to smooth it. It was very relaxing and she found herself swaying to the stroke of the brush. When he was satisfied that her hair was knot-free, he pulled her hair lightly back then his fingers moved to her temple separating small sections of hair.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly.

"A french plait, luv. You don't expect me to half-ass this do you?"

"Actually, I kinda did."

"If you're gonna do something, do it proper. Now hold still." His fingers moved deftly through her hair and across her scalp.

It was a pleasant sensation, a little too pleasant, because before she could catch it a "mmm" slipped out.

"You liking this, pet?" she could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's okay." she shrugged.

"Right." He stopped braiding. "Got anything for me to tie this off with?"

"Back pocket." she supplied.

"You really want me to go fishing for it luv?" he sounded incredulous and amused.

She snapped out of her reverie, "Oh...god...no." She slipped a hand into her pocket and dug it out, holding it up for him. "Not that I'm casting aspersions." she began, "But why did you give me a second chance on that? Why didn't you..."

"Cop a feel?"

"Yeah."

"Moment of weakness, I expect. Song stuck in my head." He tied off the braid on one side and shifted to the other.

"What's the song?"

"Some old folk song about a girl who's love left her. Me mum used to sing it when she brushed my hair."

"Your mom sounds like a nice lady."

"She was."

"Tell me about her." she urged, maybe if thinking about his mom made him sentimental that could help her somehow.

"I'm afraid that if you want to ask about her you'll have to add it to your list of questions."

He started gathering the small wisps of hair near her temple, and worked back. He didn't go back to humming the song, which she took as a bad thing. His fingers traced the contour of her ear as he collected the hair and she shivered and broke out in goose bumps. "Sensitive ears pet?" he chuckled as he ran his finger around the shell of her ear again. She scrunched up her neck, tilting her head to try to remove her ear from his grasp. She found the contact way too arousing.

"Stop that."

"You said it shouldn't be painful, not that it couldn't...tickle." she could tell he knew what it was doing to her.

She clamped one hand over her ear. "Spike." It was half warning half whine.

"Fine, no more ears." he capitulated, pulling her hand down so he could continue his task. "Unless you ask, of course." She turned her head slightly so she could see him. He had a smug look, and he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Yeah, like that will ever happen." She rolled her eyes and looked forward again, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth. She was closer than she cared to admit to wanting him to keep touching her ears, or any part of her for that matter. Was it the whiskey? She had had run-ins with Spike many times before and had never found him anything but scary and repulsive.

She noticed he had stopped braiding and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. His eyes were transfixed on her neck, his lips parted slightly and he swallowed hard. "Spike!" she yelled and covered her neck with her hand.

He shook his head and seemed to snap out of it. "Sorry. Your neck looked so inviting, and I was remembering how good slayers' blood was."

Okay, fear and revulsion back now, she thought. "No invitation Spike. And gross." She kept her hand over her neck. "Hurry up with the braid."

"Yeah." he seemed a little disturbed by his distraction as well. He actually finished very quickly, having done the finicky parts close to her head and only having the end to go. He shifted back to the foot of the bed and she resettled her legs on the mattress.

"Truth or dare Slayer?" He was visibly excited, and she was dreading whatever devious ideas were bouncing around his bleached head.

She picked up her glass again and took a sip, followed by a deep breath. "Truth."

"Why do you want to die?"

She blinked and stared at him, she was sure her mouth was hanging open. "I don't..."

"Careful pet, you lie and I win the game and I _know_ you don't want that."

"What makes you think I want to die?"

"On some level all slayers do, it's a tough gig and you're all so young. Never really realized it until the first time I fought you though. The first time we fought, even though I almost won, would 'ave too if it weren't for your mum." He emphasized. "You fought like you wanted to live. The other times too." He got up from the bed and fetched the bottle of Jack Daniel's from the counter, refilling his glass on the way back. He wordlessly offered her more and she held up her glass automatically. "The other slayers, when I fought them, though they fought like wildcats, their spirit wasn't in it. Like yours tonight, only you didn't have your mind in the game either." He sat back down and put the bottle on the floor by the bed. "And since you came to, you've asked me a couple of times to just kill you." He sighed, "So Slayer, why do you want to die?"

She wanted to protest, but she knew that he was right, she just had never faced it before. It wasn't the slaying she wanted to end, it was being the Slayer and that would only end when she died. But she didn't want to talk to Spike, or anyone else, about why. She took another sip of whiskey. "Dare."

"Really? Now I'm even more curious."

"Just tell me what the dare is Spike."

"Don't rush me, so many possibilities." He looked her up and down. Now she wished she had said no nudity, touching him through his clothes would have to be less embarrassing than stripping for Spike. "Let's start of with an easy one." He shifted forward onto his knees. "Let me feed from you."

"What?" she actually recoiled from him.

"You heard me."

"That's an easy one?"

"Makes you wonder what the next one will be dunnit?"

"Dread, actually. But one of the unwritten rules of 'truth or dare' is that the dares can't be fatal."

"I won't drink that much, just a cup or so."

"You're crazy." she shook her head. She felt like her eyes were trailing behind her head as she did. She wondered if it was the booze or the concussion.

"Are you refusing both the question and the dare?" he asked.

"No, I just..." she remembered the pain of the Master's bite, but in retrospect it paled in comparison to the pain of killing the Angel she loved. "Bite me!" She said it not as an invitation but as an invective, but she turned her head and exposed her neck to him.

Spike looked like he had just gotten a pony for Christmas, or at least how she would have looked if she had gotten a pony. Incredulous and overjoyed. "Seriously?"

"Just get it over with."

"This isn't a moment to be rushed pet." He stood from the bed and motioned for her to do the same.

"Why?" she asked warily.

"Better angle, unless you don't mind me lying on top of you."

She stood quickly then, swaying slightly, but standing caused her arms to be stretched out behind her, it would be harder to push him away if he didn't stop, maybe that was his real reason. She offered her neck to him again.

He licked his lips, and leaned in. Every slayer instinct in her screamed, but she turned a deaf ear to them.

His hand came up and lightly stroked her throat, above her pulse, this was the other side of her neck from what had mesmerized him before, he pulled his head back slightly, "You've been bitten before. Angel?"

She shook her head slightly, "The Master, he actually killed me. Xander brought me back."

"Almost makes this a sacred spot, luv."

"Spike." she said with impatience.

"Like I said, this is something to be savored." She could see his face change as he moved back to her neck. His arms wrapped around her and she knew that he could easily kill her now. Maybe her desire to die was stronger than she thought. She clenched her teeth in expectation of the pain and gasped when she felt his mouth on her throat. But he didn't bite her immediately. His mouth moved along the vein, his lips covering a spot for a moment then moving a little and repeating the process. Really, he was kissing her neck and it was incredibly arousing and her body melted into it. She felt his fangs against her skin, before she could tense again, they pierced her flesh, but it was quick and straight, not ripping like the Master's bite. Then he started to suck, and her knees almost went out from under her. Angel had never given her a hickey, maybe it was too much temptation, but she knew now what the attraction was. Because if they were even a fraction as stimulating as this was she was sorry she had been missing out. She could feel her body responding. She didn't want it to, it had to be wrong didn't it? She was the Slayer and shouldn't get turned on by being bitten by a vampire.

"Spike." she moaned without meaning to. She bit her lip, to keep from doing it again. Maybe he didn't hear the pleasure in it. She felt him pull his fangs out and a shuddering breath escaped her. Then he licked the wound, and she trembled. He rested his head against her neck and she half-feared half-hoped he was going to bite her again. She felt his face shift against her neck. She realized she was panting a little.

His hands moved to her shoulders and he pushed her away slightly as he took a step back. His head was still bent and he didn't let go of her shoulders. "That was a stupid idea." he mumbled.

That really wasn't what she had expected to hear. Some stupid teasing comment but not that. "What?" she shook her head to get the fog of passion out of it. "What's wrong? Do I taste bad?" Embarrassed, as if someone had just told her she had BO.

He shook his head and then raised it to look at her, the hunger there was frightening. "There are many words I could use to describe your blood, but bad isn't one of them." His eyes traveled back to her neck and she tensed. His hand left her shoulder and one finger moved along her skin. He pulled it away and stared at it mesmerized. There was a drop of blood on the tip, slowly he brought the drop to his mouth. With half-closed eyes he extended his tongue so just the tip of it contacted the drop. As it did his eyelids fluttered and his eyes rolled up. He sucked his finger into his mouth and she had to look away, because it was so sensual and he looked so ecstatic it was effecting her. She looked down, and as her eyes scanned his body she saw that it wasn't only his taste buds that were affected.

"God, I could write a sonnet about your blood." he said huskily.

She looked back up at him and his hunger, no she saw it clearly now, his desire, had not diminished. How strong was his honor compared to this? Despite what her body might be feeling she really didn't want to find out. She took a deep breath. "Spike." He turned his face to her, but his eyes never left her throat. "Truth or dare?"

"Like I said, luv, always the dare."

"Go take a cold shower."

It took a moment for what she said to sink in then he laughed. "Slayer, I think that is the cleverest thing I have ever heard you say, not that there's a lot of competition there." He kind of shook himself and took a step back. "Alright stretch out." He indicated she should lie back down on the bed.

"Why?" Not wanting to be that vulnerable again.

"Because with as much slack as is in these you could probably break them given the chance and I'm not giving you the chance. So unless you plan on sharing the shower with me..." She could almost feel his eyes as they travelled down her body.

"Spike, remember, your promise." She said as she backed against the bed.

"You're making it hard Slayer, no pun intended. Well maybe a bit." he conceded. "But yeah, no shagging, though, god, I do hope you lose. Now on the bed."

"Is there anyway you can say that and not make it sound sexual?" she asked as she sat on the bed.

"Doubt it, feet up. Even if there were I wouldn't use it."

"Can you just take up the slack in the arms? I promise I won't try anything." she made the cross my heart sign.

He looked at her and seemed to be fighting with himself. "Tell you what, I'll shower with the door open so I can keep an eye on you and your legs can stay as they are."

"Fine."

He tightened the arm chains so that her arms were on top of the headboard and she was in the middle of the bed. "Now don't go anywhere." he joked, she just glared. "If I see you've been trying to escape, especially if you break my bed, all rules and promises are out the window."

"Just go, but remember it has to be cold."

He moved to the bathroom and took his shirt off in the doorway, she turned her attention to the kitchen. She didn't want him to catch her looking at his chest again. However, she couldn't help but to turn and look to see what was wrong when he made strange grunting sigh. She quickly turned away when she saw that he had just released his wedding tackle from his jeans. She did a doubletake though to confirm that her eyes had not deceived her. He looked big and was obviously ready. She felt color rush to her cheeks and she lowered her eyes.

"I forgot what an aphrodisiac slayer's blood was." he explained with a chuckle. Great, he saw her look.

"Please show a little modesty. At least get in the bathroom."

"Only modesty I've got is false, luv." But he did go into the bathroom. Not that that blocked him completely from view, but she had to be trying to look at him to see him.

She heard the shower start up and relaxed a little, at least for the few minutes he was in there she could be alone with her thoughts. Unfortunately, they kept drifting to the image of Spike naked in the doorway. Again, because of her shyness, she hadn't actually looked at Angel naked. She had touched his manhood only tentatively, and she wasn't sure how it compared with Spike's, but she remembered how it felt when he was in her and her body was aching for that feeling again. She leaned her head back against the wall and half closed her eyes. From under her lashes she glanced towards the bathroom and was startled to see that the shower curtain was only half-drawn and she could see Spike watching her from the shower, thankfully only his head and shoulders were really visible.

"What?" she asked.

"Just making sure you're not trying to escape." he claimed and then she realized what he was really doing.

"Oh my god Spike! Are you looking at me and...and...jacking off?" she was appalled, at least mostly. She found that some traitorous urge in her was turned on by the prospect.

"Trying, now shush a mo, or do something sexy."

"Gross Spike!" She turned her head then got her knees under her a bit and turned her lower body away from him as far as she could.

She wished she could turn her ears away as easily as her eyes, because she could hear the small noises escaping him. As she shifted she could feel her own arousal, she tried to squeeze her legs together tighter to silence it but that added fuel to the fire.

A roar came from the bathroom and she reflexively spun to see what the danger was, and saw Spike leaning back against the wall of the shower, panting. "Thanks pet." he said when he saw her looking at him.

"I didn't do anything." she wanted no credit for what he just did.

"Are you kidding, twisting around like that, exposing your neck and wiggling your bum at me. Hell, if I don't stop thinking about it I'll have to go another round."

"Are you sure that water's cold?"

"Want to come check?" He winked at her but she just rolled her eyes. "Cold showers don't really work, luv, especially on vampires. Really the only thing to do is rub one out." He turned off the shower and opened the curtain all the way. Reaching for the towel he then dried himself vigorously. When she realized she was watching him, she turned away, but not before he saw her looking. "See anything you like, pet?"

"You're a pig Spike."

"Oink oink luv. But that wasn't disgust on your face. You don't have to love someone to find them attractive, hell you don't even have to like them. The first time I saw you, when you were dancing in the Bronze with your mates, I could see you were beautiful. Didn't mean anything though. I still planned on killing you."

"When did you watch me dancing?" She shook her head things seemed to be getting kind of fuzzy.

"That night we met. I'd just gotten to town. Told the "Annointed One" that I'd kill you. Had to go check you out." he shrugged.

"Oh yeah, that kid vamp. Whatever happened to him? Suddenly he was poof-gone." She turned to look at him but he was still naked, turning away she wondered how long did it take to dry off.

"Exactly. I put the pompous little ponce in a cage and hoisted him into sunlight. Poof-gone."

She thought she should feel sorry for him since he was just a kid, but found it too funny and ended up snorting her laughter, finally just giving into it. "I would have loved to see the look on his face."

"Didn't fancy him pet?" he asked chuckling.

"Little brat led me to my death. Of course it was prophesized? Prophesied? That he would, but still." She looked back at him. He was just leaning against the wall, naked, chatting with her. "Can you please get dressed?" she asked in exasperation. Whether or not it was okay to find someone you didn't like attractive or not, she was finding Spike's body very distracting and it was hard enough to concentrate with the whiskey.

He shrugged, "I might just stay like this so you can keep enjoying the view." he grinned.

"I'm not..." he arched an eyebrow as she began to deny it. "Fine, I admit it, you're a hottie. But it's embarrassing." Both looking at you and liking it, she added to herself.

"The Slayer thinks I'm sexy, the Slayer thinks I'm sexy." He sang with a smirk in his voice. But he pushed away from the wall and walked towards the bathroom. She caught herself watching his butt and shook her head.

"Oh, my god, are you like 10 years old or what? And I swear, if you ever tell anyone I said that, or anything about this night I will cut you in pieces before I stake you."

He came out of the bathroom with his pants on and his shirt in hand. "Oh yeah right, like bragging about tonight will get me points in demon circles." he changed his voice to mimic talking tough to his pals. "The Slayer? Yeah I kicked her ass, brought her home, chained her to my bed and then spent the day playing kids' games." he scoffed at the idea and she began to giggle which quickly grew to a full laugh as she actually pictured the faces of various demons and vampires looking at Spike aghast.

"Don't forget you braided my hair." She gasped out. "That should give you bonus points among the more fashion conscious demons."

"'Fraid those are few and far between, pet." He was leaning on the footboard of the bed. Smiling at her.

"Tell me about it. You vamps need some sort of manual that tells you to change your clothing styles every now and again. Half the time all I have to do is look for someone dressed like 'Flock of Seagulls' to spot the vamp." He nodded. "You should tell that to Dru, I mean for the most part you're okay, can't go wrong with a t-shirt and leather jacket."

"For the most part?" He looked ready to be offended.

"Well the hair is a little Billy Idol."

"It would be more accurate to say his hair is more 'Spike' since the birk stole it from me."

"Really, you know Billy Idol?"

"Met him a couple of times." he shrugged, "Hung out in a lot of punk bars in the late seventies/early eighties. Course he stole the look before he sold out and made it big."

"Wow, I'm impressed."

"Pft, I can top that. I knew Sid and Nancy."

She could tell by his expression that he thought she should be impressed, and she tried to stop herself from saying it, but her mouth wasn't listening to her. "Who?"

"Sid Vicious and his girl Nancy." He explained as if that should make it obvious. Her face must have shown her cluelessness. "God, what are they teaching you in school? The Sex Pistols? Only the most important band since the Beatles."

Okay she had heard of the Sex Pistols, although she wouldn't have been able to name a single song they had done. But she wasn't going to let Spike know that. "Oh, them. Yeah they changed everything." She nodded emphatically.

"Damn right. God, she and Dru got along like gangbusters. Of course the poor thing was almost as crazy as Dru."

"Where is Dru anyway?" it occurred to Buffy that all of Spike's promises would go out the window if Dru showed up and didn't want to go along.

"Yeah, back to the game but it's my turn to ask."

"What?" She was really hoping he had forgotten about the game.

"Truth or dare Buffy?" he asked, retrieving the bottle from the floor and drinking directly from it. Okay something about Drusilla is really upsetting him.

"Can you at least loosen the chains again? My nose itches."

"Yeah, hold on."

He quickly gave her back slack in the chains, but this time he slid the key into his jeans pocket instead of returning it to the kitchen. Maybe if he falls asleep, I can get it. She hoped.

"There, now truth or dare?" He sat back at the foot of the bed, first offering her the bottle, which she shook her head at.

"Truth?" It was more a question than a statement.

"How did the final fight go down between you and your ex? And I want details, 'cause obviously you won or we wouldn't be here." He looked ready for an exciting story.

She could feel the color drain from her face and she pulled her knees up against her chest and hugged them to her. "Dare." she whispered, not making eye contact with him.

"You're sure about that pet? You would really rather have me bite you again, or worse, than tell me about it?"

She took a deep breath and looked at him. He was studying her with an odd look. His eyes were narrowed, his head cocked to the side and it felt like he was looking into her soul. She looked away, "Just tell me what the dare is." she said with a sigh. He continued looking at her for another moment or two and he nodded, a slight smile on his face.

"You have to kiss me, and I'm not talking a little peck on the cheek, full on the mouth, tongues, the whole 9 yards, for 1 minute." He was grinning ear to ear and his eyes were laughing at her.

"Kiss you, for a whole minute." She said with some trepidation.

"I'll even set a timer. Keep us honest." He pulled out his cell phone and set the timer on it. He moved the bowl of popcorn and placed it on the floor next to the bottle. He edged a little closer.

"Alright, other than the kiss, you don't touch me." She looked at him warningly.

"I'll put my hands behind my back. So quit stalling." He leaned in towards her, but stopped, waiting for her to close the distance between them.

"Fine." She took a deep breath and blew it out. Then a shallower one, with utter disbelief that she was doing this she tilted her head and slowly closed the gap. Spike was accommodating and tilted his head the other way. He kept his mocking eyes open as she approached and she finally closed hers to block them out.

Their lips met and she kissed him gently, as she and Angel had always kissed, he let her control the kiss. She tentatively slid her tongue past his lips. She was just thinking it was actually nice and was a little horrified with herself when Spike took control of the kiss. His lips pressed hard against hers, his tongue moved against hers with urgency. She withdrew it in shock, but his followed, entering her mouth and exploring, somehow lighting a fire within her. His lips moved against hers quickly, like he was devouring her mouth. She found herself reciprocating, her lips becoming as hungry as his, her tongue battling his for dominance. She was breathless now, but still she pressed on, she felt him start to pull away and she grabbed the back of his head to keep his mouth on hers. He chuckled deep in his throat and she could feel the vibrations in her lips. He twisted his head to the side, his cheek against hers.

"Times up, luv." there was amusement in his voice, but it was somewhat breathless.

"Huh? Oh. Oh my god!" she shrank back against the pillows and pulled her knees up and put her forehead against them. How could she have enjoyed that so much? What was wrong with her?

"Well you certainly took my advice to heart."

"What advice?" she didn't raise her head.

"If you're going to do something, do it proper." He paused, when she didn't say anything. He continued. "Your turn."

"Give me a minute, okay?"

"Another one? I'm still out of breath from the last one."

"Dammit Spike!" And in one smooth movement, planted her hands on the mattress on either side of her and kicked out at him with both legs. She felt the jolt as she made contact square in his chest, knocking him into the railing at the foot of the bed and bending a good chunk of it. Satisfaction washed over her as he fell to the floor, followed by a flood of fear. Oh crap, he really is going to kill me now. That was probably the dumbest thing I have ever done she thought to herself. She started frantically pulling on the chains. If she had managed to knock him out, she might just be able to get free, before he woke up.

"Finally!" His voice roared from the ground at the foot of the bed and he jumped up. He had a trickle of blood running from the corner of his mouth, but he was smiling, with all the satisfaction she had felt a moment before.

She tried to take as defensive a posture as possible chained to the bed. "Finally what?" she asked warily, waiting for him to attack.

"Finally I got you pissed off enough to show a little fight. Hell, if you'd kicked me like that in the alley it might have been worth my time." His tongue shot out to lick the blood from his mouth. He rounded the corner of the bed and sat back down at the foot. She backed away as far as she could. "Now didn't that feel better than all of your moping?"

His words were slowly sinking in but she didn't drop her guard. "You wanted me to attack you?"

"Yep."

"And you aren't angry?" she asked incredulously.

"Hell no, been trying to get a rise out of you all day. Instead you've been sitting there just sucking it up." He shook his head. "I don't know what all happened to you, Slayer, but I knew as soon as we started fighting tonight that you weren't the same girl who told me 'No, Spike, this is going to hurt a lot.' She's the one I want to fight. Or fuck, that line really turned me on." He gave her a lusty look. At the horrified look on her face he added, "Not that that kiss did nothing for me, mind."

"Not really what I was upset by, Spike."

"Yeah, right Slayer, you were totally unaffected by it." he scoffed.

"Why are you trying to get me mad?" She was trying to ignore the fact that the kiss had affected her, way more than she wanted to admit. But she was still trying to figure Spike's plan out.

"Get you back into fighting trim, luv." He bent and picked up the whiskey and took another swig. "Last night's fight is your one freebie. Next time we fight, we fight and only one of us comes out on top." Putting the bottle down again, he lounged on his side, his elbow propping him up, he looked at her expectantly.

"Now what?"

"It's your turn." he said as if it was obvious.

"You want to go back to that stupid game?"

"You've got anything better to do?"

"No, but isn't it a little pointless?"

"Are you capitulating, pet? Cause, I have plans for when I win." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Truth or dare?" she finally asked, knowing he would say "dare" and really unable to think of what she would ask him to do.

"Truth."

"Really? What about you always take the dare?"

"Just want to show you that confession is good for the soul."

"You don't have a soul."

"But you do and I think you should follow my lead." he looked at her with narrowed eyes again, contemplating something, looking suddenly very astute, which was never something she would have suspected in him. Then returned to his normal arrogant but dim look. "So, you want me to answer what you asked before or do you have a new question for me?"

She shook her head, "What did I ask you before?"

"The question that started all this was 'What am I doing in LA?' however you also asked where Dru was."

"Answer either one, take your pick." She was still trying to get herself to calm down. Her nerves were still all on edge from the adrenalin rush.

"Actually the answer to one is the other, I'm in LA looking for Dru." He took another swig from the bottle.

"You lost her?"

"We got in a fight and she left. She was mad that I helped you stop Acathla from destroying the world. Went on about how you had contaminated me or something. She ditched me while I was pumping gas. We were almost halfway through Mexico. I've been backtracking ever since hoping to find her before she gets to Sunnydale, since I figured you'd kill her if she showed up there. Guess I didn't need to worry."

"What makes you think she was going back there." Dru could do some serious damage to her friends while she was here having a pity party.

"Kept going on about having to get back to Angelus, saying he was more evil than me, more of a demon." He looked angry and hurt. "I hope you made it painful when you killed the soulless bastard."

"I didn't." she whispered.

"Made it quick did you? I guess it was probably easier that way."

"No, I didn't kill the soulless bastard." she was barely audible, her throat was constricted so tightly.

"You mean he's still out there and you abandoned Sunnyhell to him?" Spike almost looked outraged.

She stared blindly at the wall behind him, tears began falling from her eyes but she didn't brush them away. "He wasn't soulless. He had already used his blood to open the gate." Her voice was flat. "We fought, at one point he almost won, but I didn't let him. I got back up, and finally I won. I had him on his knees in front of the statue. I was about to finish it and then suddenly his eyes glowed, and he was back. He had his soul again. He didn't know where he was, or what he had done. We held each other, but I saw the gateway was opening and I knew the only thing that would close it was his blood. So I told him I loved him and to close his eyes. I kissed him one more time, then I drove my sword through him and he got sucked into the vortex." A sob ripped from her and then her body was racked by them. "He reached out to me confused and hurt and I just let him go." As she was speaking Spike had slowly sat up straight.

"Damn Slayer, you've got the stones." Spike said with admiration and pity.

But she didn't hear him, the floodgates had broken and everything she had kept bottled up had to be said. "I loved him, I loved him so much, and I betrayed him. I sent him to hell, body and soul, the soul that had done nothing, an innocent soul. Was that right? Is that what being a slayer is?" She was yelling, not at him but at whatever made her the Slayer. "Who do I have to kill next time to save the world? My Mom? Willow? Xander? Children? Is it all okay if the world doesn't end?" She looked at the ceiling and screamed. "Is that fighting evil? Is that good? Does that balance the cosmic scales? Tell me! Tell me!" She just kept saying that over and over, her voice getting smothered by her sobs.

"Bollocks." Spike mumbled before moving next to her on the bed and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a hug with arms of steel. At first she struggled against it, trying to push him away and when that failed, pummeled his back. But he held her until she used up all her strength and just cried in his arms. The last thing she remembered before falling into an exhausted sleep was William the Bloody stroking her hair and making shushing sounds.


	4. Chapter 4 The Morning After

I can't say it enough, thank you to everyone who has sent in a review, if I failed to email you back, my apologies. My email has been a little funky of late.

And I also can not fail to give credit where credit is due. All characters and the buffyverse are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Chapter 4 The Morning After the Night Before

She woke slowly, the pains of battle replaced with a raw throat and a thunderous headache. As she stretched she realized she and Spike were lying in each others' arms. Her eyes snapped open in panic, she sighed with relief when she saw they were both fully clothed. She relaxed a little, then suppressed a chuckle at how ridiculous that was, relaxing in the arms of the Slayer slayer. But she actually felt safe here, more than that she felt like a giant weight had been lifted from her. Spike had been right, she had needed to tell someone what she had done, how she felt.

She looked at him then, his face inches from hers. She was surprised at how sweet he looked in sleep, all of the arrogance and bluster stripped away. Looking at his mouth she remembered how it felt kissing hers, kissing along her neck and even the sensuality of the bite. She lifted a hand to trace his lips, but the clinking of the chain snapped her back to the reality of the situation.

I'm his prisoner not his bed buddy, she reminded herself, I need to get out of here. She vaguely recalled him putting the key in his front pocket, but she couldn't remember which one. Holding the chain taut with one hand to keep it quiet, she slid her fingers into the pocket he wasn't lying on. She came across his cell phone first and slowly pulled it out, setting it aside on the mattress. Her fingers returned to the pocket to fish for the key. He shifted and she froze, as he rolled onto his back she let her fingers slide out of his pocket. He settled and she studied him. Was he still asleep? It was hard to tell, she couldn't judge by breathing since vampires don't unless they're talking or choosing to do so. After a minute she decided he was either truly asleep or she wouldn't be able to tell. She inched her fingers into his other pocket, almost cheering when her fingers found the key.

She put one wrist on the bed so the shackle wouldn't fall and unlocked it. She quickly repeated the process with her other hand and her feet and she was free. Slipping silently off the bed she picked up her boots and started for the door. She only got about two steps when she realized she had to pee. Glancing at the bed, Spike hadn't moved, she decided to risk it, ducking into the bathroom.

She put her boots on, confident that she could still sneak out. She wondered if Spike really would have let her go at sundown. She wanted to think he would, but wasn't ready to risk her life on it. Still, she wished she could thank him without sticking around and decided to leave a note. Leaving the bathroom she moved quietly to the kitchen but found nothing to write with. She spotted his phone lying where she had left it. She snatched it up and tried to navigate the menus, then returned it to the bed.

Only then did she sneak out the door, opening it slowly and slipping out. Just before she closed it she whispered, "Goodnight Spike."

She wasn't surprised to discover that the cheap hotel he was staying in was less than a block away from her equally cheap apartment. That she hadn't encountered him before now was what was really surprising. But then she hadn't been out patrolling every night. She pretty much went to work and then went back to her hovel. She had been punishing herself and abandoning the world at the same time.

Hoping that Lily was still at her place, since she had left the key with her guests, she knocked at the door.

"Who is it?" Lily's very nervous voice came from the other side of the door.

"Buffy."

"Oh, thank god!" Buffy heard the various locks and chains being undone as she leaned against the door frame. She was still exhausted. When the door finally opened, Lily peeked out before opening it all the way and grabbing Buffy in a big hug. "I was so worried, you were gone for so long. I thought he had killed you." she stopped and almost jumped back. "He didn't change you into one did he?"

"No, see still human." She pulled the cross pendant out from under her t-shirt. She squeezed past Lily in the doorway and looked around, she was surprised to see that they must have washed any dishes they had used and the bed was made. "Where's Ricky?"

"I don't know. He was pretty freaked out about vampires being real. He left this morning, I was hoping that it was him who was knocking." she realized what she said and quickly backpeddled. "Not that I'm not happy it was you. Did you kill the vampire?"

"No, but I don't think he'll be bothering you. I'm sorry, I really have to take a shower." she just wasn't up to playing hostess.

"Oh sure, I mean it's your place. I'm going to go look for Ricky." She grabbed her bundle of clothing.

"Can you leave the key? It's the only one I've got."

"Yeah, here, thanks for everything." She gave Buffy another hug and ducked out the door.

Buffy locked it behind her then took a long, hot shower, undoing the braid and washing the alley grime from her hair. She felt a little more human after that, she headed to the kitchen, starting some tea and looking to see what she had to eat. Lily and Ricky had been hungry and her choices were slim, but she found something. While waiting for her tea she drank a lot of water, she was still dehydrated from the whiskey and the crying.

As she was eating she realized the sun was probably going down and Spike would be waking up. Would he be angry to see that she was gone, or just relieved that she hadn't staked him once she got loose?

She quickly washed her dishes then crawled into bed, she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

There was a pounding at her door. She rolled over and looked at the clock. She was going to have to get up for work in 10 minutes anyway.

"Buffy, is Ricky there?" Lily's panicked whine came from the other side.

Dragging herself from bed she opened the door. "No, he's not here. I'm sorry, if he knocked I slept through it." She gestured that the girl should come in.

Lily walked in and started pacing. "I've been looking all night, I can't find him anywhere. You don't think the vampire got him, do you?"

"No, I don't think so." She really hoped not at least. But there were other things out there, other vampires, even human predators that could have done something to Ricky. Not to mention the possibility that he just took off. "Look, Lily, he'll probably come back here looking for you. Why don't you just hang out here. I have to be at work in an hour. If he doesn't turn up by the time I get back I'll help you look. Okay?"

"All right."

"Do you want some breakfast?" Buffy offered.

"Sure." The girl looked excited at the prospect of another meal. Buffy poured two bowls of cereal and they sat on the bed and ate mostly in silence.

Finally Buffy asked. "Do you want a job?"

"What could I do? I don't know how to do anything."

"A waitress, I'm quitting today. I'm going to go home, after I help find Ricky." She added. "I can recommend you. It pays enough for food and this place."

"I don't know...Ricky says we can move into his cousins place."

"Well until then, why don't you try it. The rent here is paid through the end of the month. It might give you a chance to have regular meals and a roof over your head." This girl had to start taking care of herself.

"Once we find him, I'll ask Ricky."

"Okay, I'll put in a good word for you."

Lily offered to wash the bowls, so Buffy got ready.

"I'll be back around 6 tonight. If you leave, lock the door behind you."

"Okay."

As soon as she got in she told Mitch it would be her last day. He was upset, but she was able to talk him into giving Lily a try, despite her coming in ranting about vampires the other night.

Knowing that this was her last day made it crawl along. She was nervous about returning to Sunnydale, but determined. She had tortured herself and those close to her long enough. But finally it was over.

She found Lily waiting alone at the apartment, Ricky had not shown up yet.

"What if the vampire did get him?" Lily whined.

"Alright, I'll find Spike and ask. Do you want to come with me or look on your own?"

Lily looked terrified at the prospect of encountering Spike. "I'll look on my own, meet back here if we find anything?"

"Or in three hours whether we find anything or not. Okay?"

"Sure."

Buffy changed out of her restaurant uniform into something more slayer-y, then out the door. Spike had said he was going to move on, but his hotel was the best place to start. She knocked on his door, wondering if she should force it. She didn't have to, because Spike opened the door.

"You know if you're planning on sneaking in and staking me, you should do it during the day, and not knock." He smirked at her.

"I'm not here to stake you. Truce? I wanted to talk."

"Truce, come on in." He stepped back.

Shaking her head, she didn't go in. There was no place to sit in there other than the bed. "Neutral ground? How about the roof?"

"Lead the way." he grabbed his leather coat and followed her.

They had to force the roof door, but it wasn't a problem. She wandered aimlessly, he leaned against the door and lit a cigarette. Watching her for several minutes he finally broke the silence. "You know pet, talking requires you to say something."

She turned and faced him. "You didn't move out."

He shrugged and flicked his cigarette butt away. "You didn't stake me while you were taking your sweet time sneaking away last night. Figured you weren't going to come back to do it."

"You _were_ awake. I thought maybe, but I couldn't be sure. Why'd you let me go?"

"Told you I would, didn't I?"

"Thank you." she said quietly.

"For letting you go? You're welcome."

"Not just for that, for not killing me in the alley, for not leaving me there, for not... taking advantage of the situation and for getting me to tell you about Angel. I'd kept that bottled in too long." She gave him a little half-smile.

"I knew something was up with you, my curiosity got the better of me is all." he tried to blow it off.

She walked up to him. "No Spike, what you did, and didn't, do helped me a lot. Most people, let alone vampires, wouldn't have behaved so honorably. I owe you."

"What 'a get out of slay free card'?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm serious Spike."

"I am too, I'm looking for Dru, I can't very well do that while worrying that you're coming to hunt me down. Not that you'd win mind you, it's just distracting."

"Okay, but during that time you buy your blood. I can't let you go around killing people no matter what."

"Sounds fair. Once I find Dru it'll be open season again?"

"Okay, but to keep it fair, you've got to let me know once you find her, not just show up on my doorstep ready to fight."

"Deal."

"Okay, now for the stupid question." she sighed, that piqued his curiosity. "Did you do anything to Ricky?"

"Who the hell is Ricky?"

"That guy who was with the girl who recognized you."

"Haven't seen 'im." His face brightened. "Wait, is he missing?"

"Are you happy that he's missing?" Buffy asked, appalled at his reaction.

"Might mean Dru's around. Whole reason I've been hanging around this miserable place. When she's upset she loves the taste of despair." He clapped his hands together and rubbed them, ready to get to work. "Alright, where was he seen last? Maybe I can track him."

"My apartment I guess." She thought she saw a dark look on his face out of the corner of her eye, but when she turned to look it was gone. "Come on."

"Are we working together?" he seemed surprised.

"Well your tracking skills are my best lead right now, and since I promised Lily I'd stay until we find him, I want to get on with it."

"Going somewhere?"

"Home, now that I got everything that happened with Angel off my chest I think I can deal." He smirked giving himself full credit for her turnaround, and she let him since she did too. "So is it okay if we team-up tonight?"

"Depends, are you going to stake Dru?"

She fought an inner battle over that, she did owe Spike big and he would take her away, although that didn't work so well last time. But was it really right to just move the problem geographically? After all, she would surely go on killing people wherever they ended up. But Buffy knew she would never be able to rid the world of vampires. "Can you get her to go away with you and not destroy the world?"

"Yeah, I can chain her up til we're gone and convince her to behave. I have ways to distract her."

"It will use up your slay-free card."

"Fair enough."

"Alright, let's go." She gestured to the door and he straightened away from it, holding it open for her.

As they walked to her place, she struggled to keep up with his long strides, she realized something. "Wait a minute, how do you know which way to go?"

"I followed you home from my place. Since you know where I live, it seemed only fitting that I should know where you hang your hat."

It made perfect sense, but that she had no inkling he was there bugged her a bit. She had really let her skills slip. "But the sun hadn't set yet."

"Sun doesn't make it down to the street much here, I was able to keep in the shadows of the buildings."

"Oh."

They got to her apartment and she went in, she turned to say something to him and was momentarily surprised that he was in the hallway. "Come in Spike." she invited when she realized why he had stopped.

"Thanks." He looked around. "I'm going to need something he touched, preferably something that will hold a scent like clothes."

"Try the bed." she suggested, not seeing any clothes other than her own.

Heading over to the bed he commented. "I thought you were still grieving for Angel, hadn't realized you had moved on."

"What? No." She shook her head emphatically. "He's Lily's boyfriend. I let them stay here when I left to hunt for you because she was so freaked out. He hadn't realized that vampires existed and couldn't deal so he took off."

He picked up the pillows and smelled them.

She grabbed a yogurt from the fridge. "Do you want anything?"

Looking at her out of the corner of his eye, he said, "Definitely, but I doubt it's what you're offering." His eyes focusing on her neck.

At his hungry look and the remembrance of the feeling of his teeth on her neck a little ember of passion lit in her, but she fought against it. "I'm not your sippy cup Spike." she said with a roll of her eyes.

He looked at her through narrowed eyes for a second and then smirked, "Didn't think so, but you can't blame a bloke for trying."

Something in his look made her worry that he had picked up on her reaction. "But I can stake him for it." she said brightly. "Do you have the scent yet?"

"Yeah, I got it." his voice dripped with innuendo but she couldn't figure out what he was implying.

"Then let's follow your nose." She threw the yogurt cup in the trash and the spoon in the sink.

On the street Spike stood for a moment getting his bearings and smelling the air, then without a word he started walking. He paused at the corner sampling the air again before turning and walking the opposite direction and repeating the procedure at the other corner. He looked frustrated. "He hasn't been by here recently. Probably hasn't been back this way since he left. That was what? Yesterday morning right?"

She shrugged, she really should have asked Lily for more details, but that timing would make sense. "Yeah, sounds about right. He would have stayed the night to be someplace safe and then split in the morning." She sighed, "He may even have just split not intending to come back and is fine someplace else."

"We can walk around a bit, if he's around I should be able to pick up on it."

They started walking up and down the streets, pausing at alleys and corners for Spike to try to catch a scent. After a block or so Buffy asked, "If you don't find Dru here what are you going to do?"

"Head to Sunnydale, see if she went back there, assuming that won't get me staked."

"Does the blood bank there sell blood?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, same rules and your card is good." She stopped walking, he had gone a couple steps before he realized it, he turned to her. "Spike, if she's killed any of my friends I'll kill her."

He nodded. "Yeah, I figured that'd be the case. Let's deal with that if it comes to it."

She nodded and they resumed walking. At the doorway to an abandoned building he stopped. "Is he here?" she asked.

"Maybe, it smells kind of like him, but different somehow." He pushed the door aside and went in.

She walked silently next to him, scanning the darkness. There were others here, mostly teens but some old people as well, all seeking refuge from a world that had no place for them. They watched the pair pass with fear, shrinking back into the darkness that was their only protection.

They must have gone through most of the building when Spike stopped, he was staring down at an old man. "Sorry, just some old geezer, smelled like the boy though." the vampire looked frustrated.

"Hold on." Buffy walked up to him and felt for a pulse, there was none but that's when she saw the tattoo. "It is him." she said softly.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, see the tatt?" She turned his arm so Spike could see it clearly. "Lily has the other half of the heart and it says 'Ricky'. What could make him age like that?" She stood.

"Some things can drain the life force, leave you looking old." Spike offered. "We could check out the demon place two blocks over."

"What demon place?"

Spike shrugged, "Some demon's running a place, advertises it as a safe place for runaway kids to go."

"Wait, that guy with the bowl haircut talking about fear and despair?'

"Haven't heard his line of bull, but the haircut sounds right."

"Take me there." she ordered as she stomped through the trash spread across the floor.

Spike led her to the building and stopped, sniffing the air. "She's here." he said glancing at Buffy over his shoulder.

"Lily?"

"Yeah and the boy, at least once he was old was here." he turned to her. "How do you want to play it Slayer?"

"Can you go in without an invitation?"

He looked at the building. "Most likely, it's not a home and even if the demon lives here only human homes have that protection."

"Will they know you're a vampire?"

"Depends, he's in disguise so I can't tell what kind of demon he is. He didn't show any signs of recognition when I passed him on the street."

"Okay, let's go in quietly and try to find Lily. If we run into bowl cut -Ken – I knew I'd remember it, don't kill him until we find her." He nodded his understanding.

She tried the door and it opened. No one was in the short hallway so they walked down it quickly but silently. A door opened at the end of the hall.

"Hey, what are you doing here." the guy who appeared asked.

"Demon or human?" Buffy whispered to Spike.

He took a quick sniff, "Demon."

Buffy stepped right up to him. "Where's Lily? Take me to her."

"I don't know who you're talking about, but you can't go in there." He tried to block the door.

She sighed and turned as if giving up, then did a back kick hard in his abdomen. He didn't fall as she had hoped, but he did bounce forward off the door and she was able to grab his arm and yank him toward her keeping him off balance. "You want him?" she asked Spike before spinning the demon towards him.

"I could always do with a spot of violence." He smiled as he started pummeling the demon, who hadn't been able to put up a defense.

"Catch up." She said as she opened the door and rushed through, it swung shut behind her.

"Wait!" he called after her. "Bollocks." He took out his annoyance at her going ahead without him on the now bloody demon. Parts of its mask were hanging in tatters and it was only still vertical because Spike had it by the front of its shirt. Shifting his hold, he snapped its neck and let it fall. It was probably less than 5 seconds between when Buffy entered the door and he followed, but a lot had happened in that time. Spike saw a pair of girl's feet disappearing into what looked like a pool of tar and Buffy fighting Ken. Before he could join the fray, the two fell into the tarpool as well. With only a second's hesitation Spike jumped into the pool after them, but he didn't go through. He was stopped at the surface, his boots not even making an impression in the goo. "Bloody hell."

Stepping out of the area he paced, the portal must be keyed to only allow humans and the demons that created it through. He had heard of that before, after all demons aren't much on open door policies. Maybe there was something here that controlled the portal, give him some idea where it went. Squatting down he looked for any kind of rune or symbol along the edge of the pool.

A hand shot out of the slime, flailing around, looking for something to hang onto. He reached out and grabbed it, pulling it as he stood. It was a teenaged girl, but not Buffy or Lily. She looked scared and she had on a rag of a dress. He easily pulled her out of the portal, setting her on solid ground. He was about to ask her about Buffy when another hand appeared. He pulled about half a dozen kids out before Lily appeared. When she saw who was pulling her out she panicked and tried to twist free. Spike shook her slightly, "Stop it you silly bint, where's Buffy?" Another hand appeared and Spike swung Lily to the side, dropping her to the floor before grabbing the hand.

"Buffy, watch out!" Lily called as the Slayer's head broke the surface.

Buffy offered her other hand to Spike. "Lily, it's okay, Spike's helping me."

"He is?" She had picked up a lamp and was getting ready to hit him with it.

"Yeah." Spike had swung Buffy gently around until the floor was solid beneath her feet.

"Thanks." She told him as he set her down.

"Not a problem."

"You didn't follow." It was more of a question than a statement.

"It wouldn't let me through. See." He went to step on the black pool again, but it disappeared. "Now that's just rude." He said to the blank bit of floor. "What happened? You were gone for less than a minute."

"It was longer for us. Time travels faster in that dimension. It's how Ricky had appeared to age so fast." She said the last quietly so Lily wouldn't hear.

Spike nodded knowingly. "Yeah I know the drill, that's why I never travel across dimensions. What are you going to do with that lot?" He nodded towards the homeless teens, but they were already slinking away, except for Lily, who was standing by herself looking lost.

"I'll take Lily back to my place and then head to the bus. Thanks again Spike, see you around."

"You want a ride back to Sunnyhell? I'm heading that way."

She actually thought about it for a minute, it would save her money and the bus was less than appealing, but being alone with him for so long in a confined space after being his prisoner for the day just seemed a little awkward, especially with the way he could make her feel with just a look. "Thanks, really, but no. I've got to make sure Lily is okay and if you're going to make it before dawn you've got to leave soon."

"Suit yourself." he shrugged and headed for the door.

"Good luck finding Dru." she said to his back.

"Thanks, good luck with your mum." He said with a wave, and then he was gone.

Lily found her clothes in the room she had changed in for the "cleansing ritual" and hugged the bundle to her as they walked back to the apartment. Buffy, talked her into taking a shower when they got back to the apartment and put a can of soup on for her before packing her bag. She left a couple of outfits in addition to the waitress uniforms, as well as her alarm clock and everything in the kitchen.

Once Lily came out she explained the highpoints of the waitressing job to her. Including her schedule for the week. After agreeing that Lily could take the name Anne, Buffy left for the bus station.


	5. Chapter 5 Home Again

Sorry for taking awhile between posts, sometimes life gets in the way. Thank yo all for your patience and the kind words of everyone who has sent me reviews. You really make this worthwhile.

Again everything belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Chapter 5 Home again

Buffy was relieved to find that if Dru had come to to town, she hadn't attacked any of her friends, and after a short awkwardness that was all made better by a zombie attack she was happy to be home. If Spike had come to Sunnydale he was laying low, because she didn't see him. At least not while awake. But he had become a regular guest in her dreams. Dreams of the type she had only had of Angel before. She would wake up from the dreams breathless and aching for his touch.

She had been home a week when Giles recommended she stay home and turn in early because she looked so tired. Which was really a welcome relief from the hard training he had been putting her through wheneveer she couldn't find an excuse to be elsewhere. Not that she didn't think she needed it, but she had been hoping to get out of patrolling that night anyway. Happily, her mom wasn't going to be home either. Apparently she had put off any buying trips for the gallery all summer so she would be there if Buffy had come home, and now that she was somewhat sure that Buffy was back to stay, had left for a 3 night trip.

So eleven o'clock rolled around with Buffy sitting anxiously at the edge of her bed. When the phone rang she picked it up on the first ring, but her voice caught as she tried to say hello.

"Who the hell is this and how did you leave an appointment on my phone?" Spike's irritated voice came over the receiver.

"It's me Spike." she said softly.

"Slayer?" the gruffness leaving his voice. "Is that what you were doing with my phone?"

"Yeah, I didn't know if I'd see you before leaving LA and I wanted to thank you. I didn't know how to just leave a message on your phone, but I figured out how to set an appointment."

"Oh."

"Did you find Dru?"

"No, not yet. Did your mum take you back?"

"Yeah, she was happy to see me, you were right."

"Usually am."

"Are you in Sunnydale still?"

"Yeah, I don't think Dru is here, so I'll probably be moving on soon. But I've been keeping my nose clean, in case you were wondering."

"What if she's just taking awhile getting back?"

"I thought you'd be happy to hear I was heading on."

"Not necessarily..." she didn't want it to sound like she was missing him, at least not without knowing he was feeling the same. "I mean, knowing where you are and that you aren't out killing is a bit of a relief."

"Is it now?" he chuckled. He obviously saw through her not-so-clever ruse. "So is that all you wanted, to check up on me?"

"No." she said softly.

"And what else did you want luv?" his voice was teasing, but it was also deeper, huskier.

She bit her lip, god was she really going to ask Spike to do this? "Talking."

"We are talking pet."

"No, _talking_." she emphasized the last word, that was as close as she could come to telling him what she wanted.

"Where are you Buffy?" his tone was seductive.

"At home, but you can't come here." she panicked.

"Not intending to luv, where in your home?"

"Um, my bedroom."

"Can your mum hear you?"

"No, she's not here."

"Very good, what are you wearing?"

"My pajamas."

"Describe them to me."

"Spike." Her voice telegraphed her reluctance. Listening to Spike talk dirty to her was one thing, she wasn't ready to talk dirty back.

"Need to set the scene luv, know what I have to work with."

"They're not sexy or anything, just like a pair of men's pajamas, a little big for me, the shirt buttons up the front, the pants have a drawstring."

"Perfect. Are you lying on your bed?"

"I'm sitting on it."

"Lie back for me luv."

She stretched out on the bed, but she was stiff, like she was about to undergo a physical exam. "Okay, I'm lying down." she said into the phone.

"Relax Slayer. You can always hang-up."

"Okay." She took a couple of deep breaths.

"Close your eyes." he breathed. "You're trying to sleep, but your body is restless, yearning. Your skin is hot. You feel a cool breeze, you turn and see that your window is open, you're sure you had closed it, but you welcome the cool and leave it. The breeze feels so good, that you unbutton the top button of your pajamas." he paused. "Did you do it?" he asked huskily.

"No, I just want to listen."

"Doesn't work that way pet. No fun for me if you don't play along. Less fun for you too"

"Spike..."

"Sorry pet, your choice."

"But..." she stammered.

"Night Slayer." he hung up the phone.

She slammed down the phone in disbelief. He didn't really expect her to do things to herself just because he told her to, did he? But he was right, her skin was hot and she was restless. She got up and paced, finally opening the window to clear her mind. The breeze was cool. Was nature on his side? She threw herself down on the bed. Closing her eyes she tried to go to sleep, but it wouldn't come. She stared at the phone. Finally picking it up and using the last call return feature.

She had expected him to pick it up on the first ring, but he didn't. She almost hung up but she heard him answer just as she was lowering the phone.

"Hello." his voice taunting.

"There's a cool breeze." she said.

"And the button?"

"It's undone, I spread the collar to feel the air."

"How does it feel?"

"Good but I'm still hot."

"You undo the next button and the next, each time spreading the opening to expose more skin to the breeze."

"I'm out of buttons. My shirt is open, falling to either side of my stomach, but I keep my breasts covered. Someone might see."

"The cold air tickles across your stomach, cooling the skin, but adding to the heat inside. A wisp of air slips under the material still covering you, blowing against your flesh like your lover's breath."

"mmm"

He chuckled softly. "The wind blows a lock of your hair across your face, you reach up to brush it away, but other fingers brush it away first. Your eyes open in surprise, you see..."

"Spike." She whispered her eyes opening.

"Yeah baby it's me." he whispered over the phone, he sounded surprised but pleased. "I tuck the bit of hair back behind your ear, my fingers tracing it. Despite the heat you break out in goosebumps."

She gasped imagining his fingers outlining the shell of her ear again

"I focus on your lips, your mouth parted, waiting for me." she licked her lips in anticipation. "I sit on the bed and lean over you. My hand next to your head so my thumb can brush along your neck. I can feel your pulse Slayer, it's beating faster, singing to me. Can you feel it? There on your throat where I tasted you."

Unbidden her hand was on her neck, feeling along her pulse point. Her heart was racing. "I feel it." her voice a throaty whisper.

"My lips lower to yours, hungry, wanting. My tongue pushes past your lips, do you let me in?"

"Yes, god yes. My hand goes to the back of your head, holding your mouth to mine."

"I still feel that kiss Slayer, do you?"

"Every minute."

"Your hand is my hand, do what I tell you I'm doing."

She hesitated, she was afraid of the passion he had lit in her, her body was already on fire. But she didn't want it to stop.

"Slayer?" He realized he would have to check himself a little. Since she couldn't even bring herself to use the term "wedding tackle", she would probably be uncomfortable with crude names for certain body parts, and he needed her to be comfortable.

"O...okay." she conceded.

"That's my girl." he purred. "I run my hand down your neck, but keep going lower. I push aside the cloth and cover your breast." He paused, "Is your hand there?"

She swallowed, "It is."

"Good, I squeeze lightly, feeling the swell of your perfect breast in my hand. I trace the nipple with one finger, drawing it out to a hard point. Is it hard?"

"So hard it aches."

"I know what you mean." he mumbled, then continued more clearly. "I pinch that pink bud, not too hard, just till the pinch overpowers the ache." her sharp intake of breath told him she had done what she was told. "Again, a little harder. I break off the kiss, I can tell how breathless you are. You're panting before me. I kiss down your neck, my teeth scraping your skin. Do you want me to bite you again?"

"I shouldn't..." she began.

"Not what I asked, do you _want_ me to bite you again?"

"Yes."

He chuckled "But I don't do it. I keep going until my lips replace my hand. I take your nipple into my mouth, my tongue circling it. Then I suck it hard, as if I were drawing blood from it. Can you feel it?"

"I can, it feels so good."

"But my hand needs a new place to play. It inches down your taut little stomach, and stops at your pajamas. I find the drawstring and untie it, then slide inside. My fingers go lower, not entering you yet, but lightly brushing your thighs. They're clamped tight, aren't they? You're squeezing yourself to try to make the pleasure stop, but it's only feeding it, isn't it."

"Yes, nothing helps."

"I can help you, will you invite me in?"

"Spike..."

"You have to invite me Slayer. Open yourself to me and tell me to come in."

Slowly she relaxed her legs and let out a shuddering breath. "Come in Spike."

She heard him sigh as well, "Slowly my hand accepts the invitation, sliding my fingers across you, but I don't enter yet, My fingers tiptoe over your sensitive skin."

"Please Spike." She mumbled.

"Alright luv, I slide two fingers past your outer lips."

"Oh god, I'm so ready for you."

"I slide along you till I find that spot, that little nub that makes you quiver." She gasped as her own hand, which was now totally under his control, found it. "Right there, I part my fingers slightly so one is on either side and I stroke you, back and forth, slow at first, my fingers slick." Her breath was coming quicker. "Slowly I pick up speed, I can feel you pulsing between my fingers. In midstroke I stop."

"No." she gasped.

"My fingers start circling your nerve bundle."

"Oh god." her voice shuddered.

"Your hips thrust up to meet my hand, don't they pet?"

"I can't keep them still."

"They want me inside you, my thumb continues circling as my fingers slide into you." Her moans told him she obeyed. I pump into you, gently at first, but faster and harder."

"Spike..." she panted. "I have to stop, too much."

"No, come for me Slayer, don't quit on me."

"Too much, can't..." she protested but she obviously hadn't stopped.

"You know you want to, how good it feels."

"No."

"No, you don't want to?"

"Don't know, I've never..."

"You've never come before?" the seduction in his voice replaced by surprise.

"No."

"Buffy you can stop." Damn, it hadn't occurred to him that she might not have orgasmed before. But if her time with Angel was her only time, it made sense. Her first time she was probably so afraid and nervous and ashamed that she couldn't.

He could hear her panting. "Spike, I'm sorry, it was too much."

"Sorry luv, didn't realize. First time shouldn't be at your own hands."

"I didn't know anything could feel so intense."

"When does your mum get back pet?"

"In two days...why?"

"Let me come over tomorrow night."

Silence met him.

"Invite me over Slayer, I'll do it for you, make you feel wonderful. I'll keep my clothes on, it will be all about you. I'll stop if you tell me to."

"Why then, if you aren't going to get anything out of it?"

"Didn't say that, just said that I'd stay dressed and it will be about you. But don't think I won't get off bringing a beautiful woman to ecstasy, especially when it's you."

That was not what she expected to hear, "Why especially me?"

"A slayer's life is too short to not experience all you can. And what you've had to do, what you've been through, you deserve a little pleasure in your life."

"Are you saying you want to make sure I experience it before you kill me?"

"I'm saying, before you die. Whoever kills you."

"We're enemies Spike."

"We have been, may be again, though I find I am enjoying our detente right now. But we are also a man and a woman who find each other attractive."

"I just can't have you over for...um.. a...booty call. I'd feel like a skank."

"Are you saying you want to go on a date first?" surprise and amusement colored his voice.

"What? No, my friends would freak if they saw us together." She sighed, "It just doesn't seem right to call you up and say 'come service me now'." she said it as an order.

He pictured her then, all dommed out and him on his knees in shackles before her. "I wouldn't say no." Knowing it was too soon to even suggest any kinky stuff to her.

She didn't respond.

"Do you trust me?" he asked softly.

She thought for a moment, he had kept his promise in his room. "A little, but only as far as I can throw you." Of course with her slayer strength that was easily across a room.

"That's far enough." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"For what?"

"For me to make tomorrow night work for you. Sleep on it. If you're willing to trust me leave your window open. If it's closed, I'll just go on my merry way. It's totally up to you. Any point during the evening you change your mind, I'll go."

"You're being awfully accommodating." she said, suspicion in her voice.

"Trust me." he purred and ended the call.

She hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. Would she leave the window open? Could she? It seemed wrong on so many levels. Having what she was sure would qualify as sex with a vampire she hated was impossible to wrap her mind around. But did she really hate Spike? Less than six months ago that would have been a resounding yes, but now? Since the incident with the Judge, he had really not threatened her. He had come to her to form an alliance and he stuck to his side of the bargain. And she couldn't look at him the same since their fight behind the blood bank. If he had been the Spike from a year ago she would be dead, or raped or tortured now, not contemplating letting him come into her home to … Maybe he did grow in the past several months, or maybe he was really better apart from Dru than with her. She had seen a lot of couples like that. But that day she spent as his prisoner she had found him funny, insightful and sexy. Of course he was infuriating too, but at least he smiled. No, she wasn't going to compare him to Angel.

She turned in her bed, facing the open window. The cool breeze did feel good on her skin, her body still covered in a sheen of perspiration. She wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but in her dreams she left the window open.

About an hour later Spike walked up to the house. He stood in the yard, looking up at her window. He could smell her arousal from here. She moaned, and for a moment he was afraid she had found someone else but then she murmured his name. He smiled and walked on. He had a lot to do before tonight.


	6. Chapter 6 Bad Burrito

Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed or commented so far. And my apologies, life has gotten incredibly hectic, so my posting is a little sporadic. I hope this chapter makes up for it. Warning: lemons ahead.

Again, all characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Chapter 6 Bad burrito

Buffy scowled at her reflection in the mirror, it was going to be obvious that her going home to turn in early didn't help. She looked more tired then ever. How was she going to be able to explain it and manage to get out of patrolling again? Alright, as tired as she looked she could probably get out of patrolling, but would someone want to come home with her to play nursemaid? She hadn't made up her mind about the window. But if she was going to leave it open she was sure she wasn't going to want anyone else there.

She put on minimal make-up, figuring there was no way she wasn't going to look thrashed, she might as well just embrace it. She also dressed the part in her drabbest clothes. Before leaving her bedroom she looked at the still-open window. She had told herself she was going to leave it open unless she definitely decided to close it. After all, it would be a lot harder opening it again. She left her room without touching it.

Going down to the kitchen for breakfast, she found her stomach was too tied up in knots to really eat anything and then she thought of her excuse. She would say she ate something that made her sick. She fixed herself a piece of toast and drank a little orange juice, not much to make it through the day, but it was what she thought she could handle.

Grabbing her book bag she headed for the front door, there was a slip of paper on the floor right in front of the door. Picking it up she unfolded it:

Slayer,

If you leave your window open, give me at least half an hour after sunset alone in your house. Come home alone. Trust me.

Spike

She refolded the note and slid it into her book bag.

"Buffy you look terrible." Was how Giles greeted her as she entered the library. "I thought you were going to turn in early."

"I tried, but a bad mom's-away-meal-choice did me in." she groaned.

"How's that?" her watcher asked puzzled.

"Mom's out of town so I picked up a convenience store burrito, a mistake of epic proportions." She slumped down in the chair. "I don't think I will ever eat food again."

"Shouldn't you go home?" he said with concern.

"Can't, I'm still jumping through Snyder's hoops to stay in school, so no sick days for Buffy." she said glumly.

"Well take it easy today. If you don't feel like eating lunch when the time rolls around you can come in and lie down on the couch in my office."

"Thanks Giles, I'll probably do that." Good, she might be able to get some sleep.

Willow skipped into the library looking all excited but slowed down when she saw Buffy. "Are you all right?"

"I will be, bad burrito mojo."

"Oh." Willow looked crestfallen.

"What's up Will?"

"I think Scott was going to ask you out today."

"God, I hope he doesn't see me like this. Can you let him know I'm sick and another time might be better?" Did she even want to see Scott? Suddenly it seemed less important, even foolish to date a regular boy. After all, didn't Owen almost get killed on their first, and only, date? And she would have to hide who she was around him. Which was not a sound basis for a relationship. Although that doesn't seem quite fair since both Willow's and Xander's significant others know. No, probably better to stick with vampires.

Oh my god, she thought. Did I just decide to date Spike?

"Buffy, are you okay? You look kinda freaked."

"I...I'm just trying to keep breakfast down and it's fighting back. Gotta go." She jumped up and ran to the restroom, shutting herself in the nearest stall. She leaned against the doors. She _had_ just convinced herself to date Spike. Was she crazy? Is that even a real possibility _if_ it was what she wanted? Sure he had asked if she needed a date but that was not the same as dating. And he hadn't actually invited her on a date, he was just trying to figure out what she wanted.

She heard the first bell and knew she had to get to class. Leaving the stall she splashed water on her face. Her make-up wasn't hiding anything anyway, but thank goodness for waterproof mascara. Going to the library to get her bookbag, she told Giles she'd see him at lunch.

She ended up nodding off in most of her morning classes and was almost asleep before she crashed on the couch.

"Buffy are you alright?" Giles was shaking her shoulder. She jumped.

"Yeah."

"You said 'Spike' in your sleep."

"Really? I must have been dreaming."

Giles sat on the edge of his desk and studied her. "Do you think it was a prophetic dream? Do you think Spike is going to be a threat?"

"No, it didn't seem like a prophecy dream." Too bad, she thought to herself because it was a very nice dream. "They're usually more vivid." She looked at her watch. "I'm going to be late for next period. Thank you for the use of the couch, I feel a little better. But if it's alright with you I think I'll head straight home after my last class. I'll take a nap and then see if I can handle some soup for dinner."

"Seems a sound plan. I'll see you in the morning."

"Bye." She hurried out, both because she was late and because she didn't want Giles asking anymore questions about her, very intimate, dream with Spike.

Managing to both stay awake in the rest of her classes and avoid Scott, she left school immediately after the final bell. She was anxious about tonight. She had almost decided to close the window, but had decided instead to let Spike come over so they could talk, not for anything else, she told herself firmly.

She got home by 3:30, the sun wouldn't be setting for at least another 3 hours. That meant she could grab a couple of hours of beauty sleep and have time to shower, dress and get out of the house before Spike would show up. She reset her alarm for 5:30 and crawled into bed. She had more dreams of Spike, but managed to wake up on time and keep to her schedule, including applying some fresh make-up and dressing up, just a little, in a denim skirt and wraparound silk blouse. Looking in the mirror she was happy with the face that looked back.

She left the house with about 10 minutes to spare before the sun went down and pondered where she should go. It had to be someplace where she wouldn't run into her friends, and if she did encounter someone, could make up a reasonable explanation why she was there. So she headed to the grocery store. It was about a 10 minute walk, so she wouldn't have to kill too much time at the store. Once there she walked up and down the aisles to look like she was trying to find something. Time seemed to drag on, there really wasn't that much time you can waste in a store when you aren't really shopping. She did pick up a can of chicken soup and some yogurt, both seemed like things that a sick person might venture. She also picked up a bottle of pepto, just to complete the ruse. It turned out she didn't need to bother since she didn't run into anyone she knew. Leaving the store she realized it was a little early and tried to walk slow, but she kept picking up her pace when she didn't concentrate on it. She walked around one block 3 times just to lengthen the journey.

Finally she got home. All of the blinds were closed, which was definitely not how she left it so she knew he was there. Taking a deep breath and repeating to herself for about the hundredth time 'we're only going to talk'. She walked up the porch stairs and slowly opened the door.

"Spike?" she called softly. Closing and locking the door behind her, but not going farther into the house.

"In here pet." he opened the french doors that separated the living room from the foyer and she stood there with her mouth hanging open. Spike was holding the door, clad in jeans with a red, long-sleeved shirt on, it was loose and soft. On the coffee table was a bowl of popcorn and some movie cases. On the floor past the coffee table there was a blanket spread out with a picnic of fruit, cheese and bread. Her eyes kept moving from him to the two different tableaus, she had no idea what to say.

"Gobsmacked huh? I take it I surprised you?" his eyes were twinkling as he walked up to her.

"I'll say, Spike, what is all this?"

He shrugged, turning to look at the room. "You seemed uncomfortable with the idea of no preamble to our activities so I thought we could start with an in-the-house date. So you have your choice, a picnic or a movie, or both. Unless you _do _want to go straight to the main attraction."

"Wow, um, let's start with the picnic, I've barely eaten today and I wanted to talk."

He surprised her yet again by lightly taking her hand and leading her to the blanket. Once she was kneeling, he reached into his back pocket. "I almost forgot, here." he held out a stake for her.

Reaching for it slowly she looked at him puzzled. "What's this for?"

"Trust." He lowered himself to the ground and reached into the picnic basket. "Wine?" he offered.

"I'm still underage." she reminded him, tucking the stake into the back of her waistband.

"And I still don't care." He started pouring two glasses of white wine. "You're also wound up as tight as a watch spring. You need to relax."

"I really don't like wine." she said as she took the glass.

"You didn't like whiskey either, but that didn't stop you." he smirked. "Try it." he urged, taking a sip from his own glass.

Tentatively she brought the glass to her lips and took a sip, then took a second. "That's nice." she said surprised.

He smiled, "Pinot grigio, not a very sophisticated wine, but it isn't bad."

"It's sweet." she took another sip, she could almost drink this like kool-aid she thought and reminded herself to go slow with it.

"I wasn't really sure what you liked." he handed her a small plate.

She began filling it with bread and samples of the cheese and fruit. "No, this is lovely, I really like cheese." she began to relax a little.

"So this wasn't what you expected was it?" he was smiling at his own cleverness.

"No, really no." she said as she picked up a strawberry by the stem.

"What did you expect? If you don't mind my asking."

"I'm not sure, more like you waiting for me in the bedroom, ready to..." She left the sentence hang there and wrapped her lips around the strawberry, then biting it. She got a little self-conscious when she realized Spike's eyes were on her mouth.

"Wouldn't have worked luv. You wouldn't have been in the right mood, very important for a woman." He took a sip of wine. "So you wanted to talk?" he prompted. One of his legs was on the floor bent at the knee, his other leg had the foot on the floor and the knee in the air. He rested his arm that had his wineglass on it while his other propped him up, he was posing.

"Yeah." She took a big gulp of the wine. "Spike, do you consider this a date?" she asked looking at her plate of food.

"Do you want it to be a date?" he countered.

She shook her head, "I asked you first."

"Truth or dare?" he offered with a smile.

"Since I am neither chained up nor drunk, no."

"More wine?"

"Spike, answer the question."

"Alright, how about this? Nothing either of us says leaves this house."

"Fine."

"In that case, I wouldn't mind it being a date." He locked eyes with her and somehow kept her from looking away.

"I wouldn't mind it either." she murmured.

"Really?" he seemed both surprised and relieved, like he expected her to laugh at him.

Nodding she said "Really, I was thinking about it today, and other than the fact that you can be pretty evil, it makes a lot of sense to date you." She ate a piece of bread with cheese.

"Sense? You base your dating choices on what makes sense?" he chuckled like it was the stupidest thing he had heard in a long time.

"Well not only that. I mean we already established that I think you're cute." She wouldn't look him in the face.

He shifted and she looked up at the movement, he was kneeling, leaning forward and reached behind her head pulling her into a kiss. It was a hungry kiss, his lips demanding a response and getting one. It stoked the fire that had been smoldering in her since last night and she was breathless almost immediately, but she would have kept kissing him if he hadn't pulled back. "That, Slayer, is why you date someone. That chemistry, the fire between you, not because it makes sense, or it's socially appropriate or any of that other rot people come up with to justify their own miserable relationships. Maybe a relationship based on passion won't last forever, but that's how long you'll remember it"

He sat back as she tried to still her heart rate. The passion was definitely there. She finished the wine in her glass and held it up for him to refill. He picked up the bottle but didn't pour. Instead he looked at her, "Before I pour you anymore, I want to know if you agree to what we discussed on the phone last night. If you tell me 'no' now, we'll spend a pleasant evening together, maybe kiss a little if it comes to it, but that's it, no matter if you change your mind later. But if you say 'yes' now, you can always say 'no' later and I'll honor it, but I want to hear it from you before you have anymore to drink."

"Really?"

"While I have done much worse in my time, and no, I'm not going to tell you about it, I'm not here to hurt you and even if I didn't care about that, I am pretty sure that date-raping the slayer is a good way to wind up a pile of dust."

The night was full of surprises. She had suspected that the wine was to lower her inhibitions and get her to agree to anything, but here he was drawing the line in the sand before she was drunk. Was she really agreeing to this? She thought, on some level it still seemed a slutty thing to do, but she was so close to something good last night and she had to go through with it. He was watching her as if he could read her mind. She thought about how good his kiss felt, his fingers on her ears, his mouth at her neck, but was she willing to go further? Her body screamed yes. "So what you're saying is if I say 'yes' and then chicken out, you'll stop whatever you're doing?"

"That's right, but if you say 'no' now it stays no."

"And you'll keep your clothes on, you won't actually..."

He smiled at her shyness. "It'll stay in my pants, even if it kills me, which it just might."

"Alright, yes." she tried to put some conviction behind it. "So what happens now?" she asked nervously.

He poured her another glass of wine. "Now, Slayer, we have our date."

"Oh, okay."

"You need to relax pet. That's what the wine is for. You're acting like you're about to have a root canal, not the most pleasurable experience a person can have." He sipped his own wine, slipping back into the pose he was in before.

"I'm a little nervous, I'm just not sure how you plan the evening to progress."

"However it does, luv. I don't have some schedule to your seduction laid out. The time has to be right for you, you have to be ready. You want to sit here and talk for a few hours? We can do that. Watch a movie? That works too. We could even scamper up to your bedroom right now and have at it, but I don't think that would work as well."

"Last night you made it sound like you'd just come over, work some magic and that would be that."

"I wasn't exactly thinking with my brain last night." he grinned. "Now if instead of just chatting, you want me to start _talking_, that would probably hurry things along. But I am enjoying this right now." he indicated the whole picnic milieu.

"Me too." she agreed and popped a grape into her mouth. "A getting to know you phase. So where are you from?"

He looked at her like she was stupid. "England."

"Yeah, but where in England? Give me some details."

"London, Victorian London to be a tad more specific. The time of Dickens and Arthur Conan Doyle."

"What was it like?"

"Stodgy, dirty, dangerous, very classist. You were the class you were and there was very little social mobility. You could be upper class but if you weren't born to the aristocracy they wouldn't give you the time of day. Unless they were looking to marry someone rich to restore their family fortunes."

For what was probably the next hour, during which time she had drank and refilled her wine, she continued to ask him questions about his travels and his life. She could tell he was glossing over large sections of it, probably the more unsavory bits. She didn't mind, what he did tell her was fascinating. At some point he shifted to sitting cross-legged and it seemed more natural, more relaxed, more him.

He put down his glass and ate some bread and cheese.

"You eat." She said plainly.

"Yeah?"

"Angel never did, he'd occasionally have something to drink if others were, but I don't recall ever seeing him eat anything."

"I think that was all part of his self-imposed suffering to atone for all the evil he did before he got his soul back. Like resisting the munchies will make up for torturing Dru starkers." he scoffed. "He eats when he's evil." He picked up a little cluster of grapes. "We can survive without normal food and drink, but we can't survive on it without blood. It helps us to fit in and hide among humans. Plus eating is a sensual pleasure."

"So you've been all over the world right?"

"I've travelled a bit." he conceded.

"What's the best thing you've ever tasted?"

Without pause he said, "Your blood."

She rolled her eyes. "Flattery will get you no where. So tell me the truth." she pressed.

"I am, absolutely."

"Oh." she blushed and looked down modestly. When she looked back up, he was smiling at her indulgently. She gathered her hair back and turned her neck to him. "If you want some."

It was his turn to be gobsmacked and he stared at her neck, hunger growing in his eyes. He shifted to his knees and raised his hand, lightly stroking her neck. That light touch and the anticipation of his mouth on her throat was enough to send her heart racing. He licked his lips, then closed his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath, but pulled back his hand and sat down.

"What's wrong? It's all right." she asked with confusion.

He opened his eyes and saw that she was still exposing her neck to him. He turned away, "I promised a certain amount of restraint tonight. I don't think I could keep that promise if I drank from you."

"But before..."

"You don't know how close it was the last time." he said sharply. She dropped her hair and shrank back at his tone. "God, it was all I could do to not drain you dry or throw you on the bed and fuck you hard, or both." He stood up and began pacing. "If it weren't for you completely surprising me with the cold shower dare, the night wouldn't have ended well for you."

"I could tell it made you hungry, I just didn't realize how much." She said in a small voice. "So you can't drink from me again?" She sounded a little disappointed.

"If I think it will be safe to try I will, but I'm not looking to hurt you in a blood-fueled frenzy."

"Not high on my list." she agreed. "Toothy hickies out for now." she added with a definitive shake of her head. Then she sighed, "Probably _no_ hickies then."

"Oh?"

"Well they would be pretty hard to explain since I'm supposedly not seeing anyone right now."

"With your fast healing they'd probably be gone by morning."

"Maybe, better not chance it though."

"We could test it, after all there are other places to leave hickies than the neck." he looked at her suggestively.

"Oh." she was surprised she hadn't thought of that. She really was naive when it came to all of this. Taking a long sip of her wine first she glanced at him with what she hoped was a sexy look. "Any place in particular you were thinking of?"

Passion blazed in his eye and he sank to his knees in front of her. "I do have a couple of favorites." he purred as his eyes roamed over her.

Putting down her wine glass, she rose to her knees facing him. "Such as?" she asked coyly.

He ran the back of his finger down the side of her neck. "Other than here." His tongue curled up behind his teeth as he watched her face. His finger drifted down until he was brushing the swell of her breast, her pulse began to race. "Any sensitive spot will do, the more sensitive the better." She swayed towards him a little. She raised her hand to the back of his head and applied only the slightest pressure, he obligingly lowered his head. Pulling back her blouse slightly, but not exposing her, he lightly kissed along the side then sucked on her soft flesh.

"Oh god." she sighed. The hand on the back of his head holding him in place as her other moved to his back.

His mouth released her, kissing a short distance before sucking in again. Her fingers clutched his back. He kissed up her neck and he nuzzled her ear before whispering, "Although I do prefer the feel of a pulse beneath my lips. Which is what makes this," his fingers stroked up her inner thigh, "my favorite spot."

She gasped and jumped slightly, but did not pull away. He bit her earlobe lightly, which sent goosebumps across her skin. She turned her head to meet his lips, devouring them in a hungry kiss. He moved his hands to her waist, after several minutes he broke off the kiss and said, his voice husky, "Stand up Slayer." He pulled her up gently.

She was confused, but stood unsteadily, becoming more confused when he did not stand as well. She looked down at him kneeling before her, she ran her fingers through his hair. A smile played at the corners of his mouth. He shifted one hand to the small of her back and again brushed her inner thigh with his fingertips. Her breath caught, and her eyes fluttered closed. Her fingers tightened in his hair and she clutched his shoulder. On some level she knew it must hurt him, but she couldn't let go. His hand slid down behind her knee and coaxed her leg up until her thigh was parallel with the ground. She shifted her hands to balance herself. Supporting her leg, he began to kiss along the inside of it, starting at her knee. The muscles in her leg were trembling and he could feel the blood racing through her vessels, the smell of her arousal just inches away was more intoxicating than the wine. He nipped with his blunt teeth along her femoral artery, knowing that the smallest true bite would send her sweet blood cascading into his mouth.

He had to fight his demon back as he lightly kissed along her. She was making little noises of pleasure that fed his own arousal. Getting the demon back under control, he moved further up her leg until his cheek was was actually in contact with her lace panties. He wanted to rip them off and taste her, but knew it was too soon. Instead he kissed her thigh again, then sucked hard on the bronzed skin.

"Spike, oh fu..." she bit the exclamation off but almost collapsed on him. He would have bruises on his shoulder from the vice-like grip she had on him. If he were human she might have broken bones by now, he thought. Maybe she was right, maybe she could only date vampires, another sad irony in her life.

He was repositioning his mouth to draw her in again and the phone rang. She half spun in surprise, almost taking his head off, but he managed to stay intact and keep them both from toppling over.

"Let go." she whispered as if the person on the other end of that unanswered phone could hear them.

"Leave it." he urged and sucked on her leg again.

"God that feels so good." The phone rang again, she shook her head, "No, they might come check on me if I don't answer."

He sighed and carefully released her leg so she wouldn't fall. She stumbled toward the phone, answering it bit breathlessly. "Hello?"

"Oh hi Mom." Spike smiled and mouthed 'say hi for me' and she glared at him. "No, I was just in the bathroom and had to run to get the phone...No I'm not patrolling tonight...I ate a bad burrito and had a rough night last night so I'm taking a night off."

Spike started putting the dishes and the leftover food back in the picnic basket, leaving out the glasses and the wine. He moved the basket aside, but left the blanket, then held up her wine glass to see if she wanted more. She nodded.

"No, you don't have to come home early, I'm feeling better...I had a light dinner tonight...Oh, yeah that's fine." Spike walked up and handed her the wineglass then wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and nuzzled her neck. She tried to elbow him in the ribs to get him to stop. "No, Mom, I'm sure. I'll still be here when you get back, promise...Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow night. Love you." She hung up the phone.

"Spike, are you trying to get staked? Or just let my Mom find out about us?" She said in exasperation.

"Testing your willpower, pet. Or just being evil. Take your pick." he sucked on her earlobe.

"Go sit down, I'm going to call Giles."

"If you want to make this a threesome luv, I'd prefer your ginger friend."

"Oh, gross Spike. No, I'm going to call him so we won't be interrupted by him checking up on me too. He's harder to bluff than my Mom, so cool it."

He kissed the curve of her ear before whispering, "Make it quick." and releasing her to plop down on the couch. She saw he was opening a second bottle of wine.

She cleared her throat before she dialed. "Hi Giles." She said trying to sound tired. "No, I'm okay, not back up to full, but doing better... I took a nap and bought some soup... Yeah, I'm planning on going to bed early." Spike waggled his eyebrows at her. She made a shushing gesture at him and he chuckled silently. "No, I think I should be fine tomorrow...See you in the morning... Yes, I'll call if I need anything. Bye." She hung up the phone with a sigh. He pulled the cork from the wine, pouring himself another glass.

"Anyone else you need to call?"

"No, that should do it. Everyone thinks I'm sick."

"Yes, the bad burrito ruse." he said sarcastically. "You just can't get a night off?"

"I did, last night, because I was feeling tired, but if you recall, I didn't get much sleep last night and this morning I looked worse not better. So I had to explain that and have a good reason to get tonight off too." She shrugged as she sat next to him on the couch.

"So you lied to your Watcher."

"Not the first time, and I think his head would have exploded if I had said 'I was up half the night having phone sex with Spike, and by the way, I need tonight off too so Spike can come over and give me an orgasm'." her eyes widened and the color drained from her face. It was the first time she actually said aloud why Spike was here.

"Buffy, are you alright?"

"It just sounded so... skanky when I said it." she looked down in her lap, her hands fidgeting with her wineglass.

"Then don't say it." he said simply.

"Not saying it doesn't change anything."

"Yeah it does, for one thing, what goes on, or doesn't, here tonight is just between you and me. Everyone else can just mind their own bloody business. There's no chance you're going to get pregnant, or catch something so you're not being irresponsible." He reached out and covered her hands with one of his, using the other to hold her chin lightly, turning her head so he could look her in the eye. "And if you ask me, I don't think you're a skank, or a slut or a trollop, or whatever the word of the day is to shame women out of expressing their sensuality. You're a woman with needs as fierce as any man and it's foolish to deny them. Or be ashamed of them. Hell, the species would have died out ages ago if women actually followed all the stupid moralistic rules that only seem to apply to them and not the men who are with them."

There was still doubt in her eyes. "But..."

"Like I said you can call this off at anytime, but let me make one final argument."

"Oka.." she started to say, but didn't get to finish because his mouth covered hers. That didn't surprise her, what did was the tenderness of the kiss. Every kiss they had shared before this was filled with a fierce hunger. But this kiss was tender, coaxing. Showing her that sex with him might not just be a primal ravishing, but that he could be a gentle lover as well. His hand was still covering both of hers, but when she pulled one away he didn't stop it. She brought it up to his cheek, her fingers lightly tracing his cheekbone before she slid it behind his head, her thumb brushing his ear.

Knowing he won the argument by her response, he raised his hand up to her throat, his fingertips, dancing lightly up the column of her neck. His other hand reached out to her shoulder, turning her to face him.

With a muffled exclamation she broke off the kiss. He pulled back to look at her, thinking he had been wrong.

"Wine." she said by way of an explanation, picking up the delicate glass from between her legs and taking a long sip before moving it to the coffee table. Shifting on the couch, she turned to him, clasped her hands lightly behind his head. "A very persuasive argument. You should have been a lawyer."

"I don't think this would fly in court, luv." He pulled her closer and began kissing up and down her neck, scraping his teeth lightly along it.

"Then the justice system is seriously broken." she murmured, running her hands down his back. His lips on her neck were setting her on fire and she wished he would bite her again. His hands covered her back, clutching her to him. She gasped as he sucked on her earlobe, her fingers digging into his back. She turned her head to kiss him, one hand coming up behind his head to guide his mouth to hers.

His hand covered her breast and she pressed against it. He swallowed her moan as his finger traced her nipple through the fabric of her top. With a slight tug she felt him untie her blouse, then his hands were at her breasts, driving the nipples into even harder peaks. She turned her head away so she could try to catch her breath, and he took the opportunity to lower his head, his mouth finding her breast. Her fingertips dug into his back at the intensity of the pleasure and he groaned against her skin. His mouth expertly teased her, licking, nipping and sucking on the hard bud. His hands moved down to her waist and he picked her up slightly, pulling her to him so she straddled his lap. He kissed his way to her other breast as his hands slid down to cover her rear. His strong hands kneading the muscles there.

She slid her hands between them and started unbuttoning his shirt, she wanted to feel his cool skin pressed against hers, wanted to run her fingers across his sculpted chest. When she finally had it open and untucked she ran her hands over his skin, feeling the ripples of muscles. Her fingers found his nipples and she traced them as he had hers. He growled lightly and she took that to mean he liked it, so she pinched the nipple and was rewarded by a sharp nip on her own.

Curling his fingers, so his fingertips pressed into her flesh, he dragged his hands down her thighs, moving from the back to the front as he went. His fingers began creeping up her inner thighs, moving forward an inch or two then pulling back. As he got closer to her body she whined as he withdrew and she thrust her hips forward trying to increase contact. She brought her arms around his back trying to pull him closer.

But he kept her back, holding her in place and waiting until she stilled before his hands resumed their tantalizing path. When his fingers did finally lightly brush the fabric of her panties she gasped "Oh god. Yes."

He chuckled against her breast, the vibrations traveling straight to her core. He rubbed her through the lacy fabric, and she writhed against his hand, trying to increase contact, but his other hand on her hip held her back. She was making little inarticulate noises, trying to say something but not knowing what. He lifted his head, his mouth leaving her breast and she kissed him. A wild frantic kiss, urging him on with actions instead of words. She pressed her breasts against his chest, his cool skin feeling wonderful on her overheated flesh. The hand on her hip slipped around to the back, encountering the stake. He pulled it out and tossed it on the couch behind her. Then he unzipped and unbuttoned her skirt.

She took advantage of his hand being busy and slid her hips towards him, trapping his hand between them and she ground down on him. He broke off the kiss with a gutteral "Bloody hell!" his teeth clenched and the tendons in his neck standing out.

She jumped back, "Did I hurt you?" she asked in surprise.

He pushed her hips back a little and let out a sigh. "Hurt's not the word I'd use pet." he said with a rueful smile before kissing her again. After a moment he slid both his hands under her thighs.

"Please don't stop." she gasped.

"Not." he assured her, against her lips, but he shifted them, moving her to the couch as he slid to his knees on the floor in front of her.

She immediately wrapped her legs around him keeping him close. He held the waistband of her skirt and started to ease it down. When she realized what he was doing she lowered her legs to the floor and raised up her butt enough for him to remove it. All this was done while they continued kissing, but now he pulled back. The final unwrapping was something to savor and something he wanted to be sure she agreed to.

He hooked his thumbs into the top of her skimpy underwear and looked at her intently, asking her without words if she wanted him to continue. She swallowed hard and slowly nodded. Not breaking eye contact, she leaned back and raised her hips as he slowly laid her bare to him, but only as she was stepping out of them did he lower his eyes to take in what he had uncovered. His eyes traveled slowly down her body which was flushed with her desire. The fading marks from his earlier love bites the only thing marring her perfect skin. She shifted under his gaze and he looked back up to her face. He could see her shyness making her uncomfortable.

He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. "Sorry pet, didn't mean to stare, But you're magnificent."

"Magnificent?"

"Hm mmm" he kissed her lightly, "you're gorgeous" kiss "soft" kiss "strong" kiss "fierce" "caring" "sexy" "shy" between each word the kiss got longer, deeper and his hands began to caress her again. Finally she grabbed his head to hold his mouth to hers. One of his hands drifted down to between her legs and stroked the light hair there. Buffy gasped at the contact, but didn't break off the kiss, only doing so when his fingers parted her and circled her nub. Then she yelled out, "Spike!" as her whole body jerked in response.

He kissed his way back to her ear, sucking on the lobe before whispering, "I like hearing you shout my name in passion. Scream it for me when you come."

In response she turned her head and sought out his mouth with her own while her hands explored his back. As he brought her closer her nails dug into his back with each small wave of pleasure, probably drawing blood he knew, but didn't care. She broke off the kiss trying to catch her breath, which was just random gasps. He bent his head and again took her breast into his mouth, sucking on the still hard peak and scraping his teeth on the sensitive flesh. Her hands moved to his head, trying to grab his hair, but it was too short to find purchase.

He moved his other hand down and slid two fingers into her. A yelp escaped her and she thrust against his hand, but he was expecting it and was able to keep up the rhythm on her nub, which was quivering under his fingers. He thrust his fingers in and out. God she was hot and tight, he thought. His cock, already straining in his jeans, throbbed. For not the first time that night he regretted his promise, but he knew he had to build up some trust with her, which could lead to other enjoyable activities down the road.

He looked up at her and could tell she was close, would be there if she weren't a little afraid of it. He began to shift his fingers until he found just the right spot inside her. Her mouth shaping an "O" just before she swallowed convulsively. He moved his mouth so he could mark her breast with another lovebite and she sucked in air, just before hitting her peak and shouting his name.

He continued to stroke her to prolong her ecstasy until it started to retreat, then he withdrew his fingers and brought them to his mouth where he sucked her essence off them. The taste was a close second to her blood and he hoped she had the stamina to continue.

He leaned forward and brushed the hair off her face, her eyes fluttered open as he watched her. He smiled at her. She smiled shyly back. She was trying to think of something to say. "That was...It was...You..."

He kissed her tenderly, "So was it good for you?" he asked with a smirk.

"More than good." she raised her hand to his cheek. "Thank you for convincing me to do this."

"Anytime." he leaned in and kissed her more deeply and she reciprocated.

Pulling away, she asked in a small voice, as if she were asking for a big favor. "Even right now?"

"I was hoping you'd say that." he said with a smile as he captured her mouth again. Her arms wrapped around him, her hands running across his back. Then she froze and pulled away.

"Spike you're bleeding." She said as she looked at her blood-smeared hands, "Oh my god, I am so sorry."

He shrugged it off. "It's fine, it just let me know how much you liked it. Besides it's healed already."

"But..." she looked guiltily at him.

"But nothing. I don't mind a little pain mixed with my pleasure." When she still looked guilty he added. "Do you know what else has healed already?"

"Did I hurt you someplace else?

"No, look." He cradled her breast in his hand, the hickies already almost faded from sight. "Which means I can do this." He moved a hand to the back of her head, as he traced the vessel on her neck with the other before lowering his head and sucking her skin between his teeth. She moaned and dug her nails into his back again. His guard down, the combination of his mouth at her throat, his pent up sexual energy and the pain, brought out his demon. He pulled back as soon as he felt the shift, but not before his fangs nicked her flesh.

He turned his head, "Bollocks!" He could taste her blood and fought against its effects.

"Is it something I did?" she asked.

"No, just trying to keep too many things in check. Give me a mo." He was taking deep breaths and she wondered, since he didn't need to breath, if that really helped.

Setting her jaw, she leaned forward and started undoing his belt. He grabbed her hands roughly. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

"Giving you one less thing to keep in check."

"I told you I'd keep it in my pants and I meant it. I'm not going to go back on that because things get a little rough."

"But it's okay I want to...I want us to..."

"And you've also had the better part of a bottle of wine and are still in the afterglow. Invite me back tomorrow and we'll shag til the sun comes up. But tonight..." he took a deep breath and shook his head, and the demon faded. "...I can keep it together. If I can't this isn't safe."

She pulled her hands back and he released them. Then she grabbed the stake off the cushion and held it to his chest. "Now, I'm ordering you to."

He smiled lustfully at her. "Pet, this is a game I would love to play. Just not tonight."

"Maybe it's not a game, maybe I really will do it." she looked disappointed that he wasn't taking her seriously.

"I know you've got the stones to do it Slayer. I just don't think you're going to right now."

"Yeah? Why not?"

"Cause if you do, I can't do this." His fingers parted her again, unerringly finding her pleasure center.

"Oh god." She moaned, yet while the stake wavered, she didn't lower it. "But...You're not...you should be enjoying this too." her breathing was speeding up, becoming shallow.

With his free hand he took the hand that wasn't holding the stake and brought it to the bulge in his jeans. "I am enjoying myself, luv. Wouldn't be a problem if I weren't." She stroked him through the denim. He clenched his teeth and a muscle flexed in his jaw. He gently pulled her hand away and kissed the palm before releasing it.

Leaning forward until the back of the stake was pressed against her chest. He looked hungrily at her mouth as he said, "Now are you going to kiss me or stake me?" He slid two fingers into her as his thumb continued to stroke her nub.

"Gunh." escaped her lips before she tossed the stake aside and pulled his head down to hers. She kissed him wildly, filled with the rising passion he was stoking in her again. Her hands moved down to grab his butt, clutching the tight muscles. He moaned at the contact, it felt too good for his already sketchy self-control. He broke off the kiss and lowered his head to her breast, sinking low on his knees. She let him sink out of her grasp, her hands moving up to run through his short hair.

But his mouth kept moving down her torso, trailing kisses as it went. As he passed her navel, he pulled his fingers away from her.

"No!" she protested, "Don't stop."

He rolled his tongue up behind his teeth as his hands parted her. He kept eye contact as he lowered his head between her legs and his tongue flicked over her pleasure center.

"Fu...mmh...guh..." she groaned as her hips bucked against his mouth. She could see his eyes twinkling at her as hers fluttered closed.

His eyes closed too as he savored her, driving her closer to release. He could tell she was close; the muscles in her thighs were quaking, small nonsense syllables were slipping out between erratic breaths and her nub was dancing against his tongue. He was almost disappointed, he would have happily stayed right there all night, pleasuring her as he drank in her essence. He knew he could slow it down, build her ecstasy more slowly, but she was writhing under him, and looking up at her he could see her hands roaming her own body. It was still too new to her to drag it out, to stretch out the build-up until the anticipation itself was a delectable torture.

His fingers slid into her and she pushed down against them. He built up a fast rhythm with both his hand and his tongue and she went over the edge.

She lie there for a few minutes, her eyes closed, her breathing returning to normal, and Spike thought she might have fallen asleep. He stood and gently picked her up.

"What are you doing?" she asked dazedly, her arms going around his neck to steady herself.

"Taking you up to your bedroom. Didn't think you would want to sleep naked on the couch all night."

"I can walk." she protested half-heartedly.

"You sure about that pet?" he asked, his eyebrow arched.

"You might have a point." She conceded and leaned her head against his chest.

He carefully carried her up the stairs, heading unerringly to her bedroom. He placed her on the bed and stepped back.

"Can you stay?" she asked. "Lie here with me?"

"All night?"

She nodded.

"Sure, pet. I just have to leave a bit before dawn. 'Salright if I take a quick shower? I don't want to mess up your sheets." He indicated his back.

"Sure."

He went into the bathroom and locked the door, not entirely sure she wouldn't try to surprise him. He started up the water and stripped off his shirt, there were spots of blood on it. He tossed it aside, damn, he liked that shirt. He sighed as he opened his pants, he was still hard and that was the real reason he wanted the solitude of the shower. Letting the water wash over his back he opened the different bottles until he found the one that he recognized by smell as her body wash. Using that and picturing her writhing under him he found his own release quickly. He smiled as he heard her try the doorknob, the girl was stubborn, he turned off the water and the rattling stopped. He dried off quickly and put his jeans back on.

She was waiting in the hall in a short robe holding a little bundle of pajamas. At his surprise she said, "I wanted to brush my teeth and stuff."

"Alright, I'll run down and tidy-up just in case your pals pop-in in the morning."

"Oh, good idea."

It only took him a few minutes to hide any evidence of their activities. He stashed her knickers in the picnic basket as a souvenir, before picking up her skirt and bringing it upstairs.

She was lying in bed when he came back, the covers pulled down on the other side waiting for him. He wondered if these were the same nightclothes she wore last night, they matched the description. She smiled shyly at him and he gave her his warmest smile back. He rounded her bed and slid between the sheets, turning on his side to face her. She turned off the light and scooted towards him, he wrapped his arms around her. "A bloke could get used to this." he murmured. "You said your mum's not back until the day after tomorrow?"

"Day after that." she said looking up at him. "She asked on the phone if I minded her staying an extra day." She yawned deeply. He glanced at the clock over her shoulder, it was early yet, not even half past 10, but she was worn out. At least she had been truthful that she would be in bed early.

"Sounds promising. Good night Slayer." he said stroking her hair.

"Good night Spike."


	7. Chapter 7 A New Normal

Working hard to get these out. Sorry it's taking so long. I hope you enjoy and thanks to everyone who keeps reviewing. 

All characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. 

Chapter 7 A New Normal

"Buffy, I've got to go pet." Spike was sitting on the side of the bed, lightly shaking her shoulder.

"What time is it?" she asked stretching.

He glanced at her clock, "A little after 6, the sun'll be up soon."

"Thanks for waking me." She pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Do you have to go now?" she asked putting her hand on his thigh.

He smiled, "Can't stay long enough for what you're thinking luv."

"Will you come back tonight?"

"I will, if you're sure you want me, all of me."

"I'm sure. But I'm going to have to patrol tonight, so it'll be later. Probably not until at least 11 before I can get home. But it's Friday so I won't have to get up early tomorrow, with Mom not home, I could sleep all day."

"Or do other things." he suggested.

"I thought you couldn't stay."

"If I don't leave soon, I'll be stuck here all day, and while with you home, it has a great deal of potential, being here by myself all day, not so much."

"I get that." She leaned forward and kissed him. "Tonight then."

"Tonight, what do you want to do?" he asked as he stood.

"Um...I..." she stammered her cheeks flushing.

"No, I meant for the date portion, should I bring back the movies, another picnic?"

"Oh, I don't know, though I'm usually hungry after patrol."

"All right." He bent down and gave her another quick kiss. "I'll think of something." 

Buffy bounced into the library, feeling better than she had in longer than she could remember. "Hey Giles!"

"Buffy, you're looking better." He was visibly relieved.

"I feel better, fit as a fiddle." she said as she sat on the edge of the table, swinging her feet. "Although, I'm not exactly sure how a violin could be flabby. I mean if it puts on a few pounds does it become a cello?"

"Yes, quite." He mumbled as he turned to pick up a book. "Your mood seems greatly improved as well."

"Ooh, does that mean you're ready to go out with Scott?" Willow asked as she walked from the door taking off her backpack.

"No, sorry Will. I was thinking about it and I'm just not looking to start dating right now and I'm good with that. But I'll tell Scott, let him down easy."

"But why not?" Willow could be stubborn.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know, I mean I spent almost a year with a boyfriend, and then half a year afraid of said boyfriend and then a summer mourning the boyfriend. I think maybe it's time to try no boyfriend, at least for a little while." She looked over at Giles who was pretending not to pay attention. "Besides, I want to concentrate on training right now. I really let myself get out of practice over the summer."

"Capital idea." he agreed. "I had been hoping to schedule some more training sessions."

"Schedule away." The first bell rang, she hopped off the desk, and grabbed her book bag. "I was thinking about two hours right after school. That way I can go home, get in some studying and mom-time. Some nights I might pop into the Bronze before patrol."

"That sound very ambitious." Giles said skeptically.

"Let's give it a week or two, see if I can keep up the pace. If I'm too tired we can scale it back." she said with a shrug. She left with a smile, she did need more training time and with a schedule like that no one would expect her to have time to date.

"Are you sure about this Buffy?" Willow fretted as they walked to class. "It doesn't sound like a lot of down time and all work and no play can make for a cranky slayer."

"Will, it's okay. Mom and Giles have pretty much been trying to schedule me like this anyway. Maybe if I dive in willingly they'll ease up sooner. Besides, I really do need the training. I can pretty much guarantee that if I had to fight Spike right now he could put a third notch in his belt. All play and no work could make for a dead slayer."

"I guess." her friend conceded. "I just don't want you to feel lonely when I have Oz and Xander has Cordelia."

"Boy that still sounds strange – Xander and Cordelia." Buffy replied, hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah, I don't know if I'll ever be able to wrap my head completely around that."

"Around what?" Xander asked, coming up behind them as they entered the classroom.

Willow jumped guiltily. "Oh, um, string theory." she stammered.

Buffy and Xander both stared blankly at her. "What now?" Xander asked.

"You know, string theory, that particles in the universe are actually strings. I mean wow."

"Uh-huh." he replied, obviously no more enlightened. Buffy was just able to regain her composure before Xander looked from Willow to her. "And you gals were just chatting about that?" he asked skeptically.

"Willow was chatting. I was nodding my head pretending she was speaking english." Buffy replied.

"Gotchya." That at least seemed to make sense to him and he headed to his seat.

Buffy turned to Willow and mouthed, "String theory? Really?"

"I panicked, I don't do well under pressure." she whispered back. "Oh, hey did you bring that art history book your mom said I could borrow?"

"Yeah, here it is." she pulled the big book out of her backpack. "A little light reading Will?"

Willow blushed and started to say something to her defense, but the teacher started speaking so she just pursed her lips.

Buffy had been worried that she would again be distracted by thoughts of Spike, either remembering last night or anticipation for tonight. But it seemed a good night's sleep and incredible sex really did help her focus and her morning classes went smoothly.

The roughest part of her day was when she saw Scott at lunch, especially when he looked so happy to see her.

"Hi Buffy! Are you feeling better today? You look great." he said enthusiastically.

"Hi Scott. Thanks, yeah, I'm feeling better. I was hoping I'd run into you.

"Really?" Great, that just raised his hopes she thought.

"Yeah. Look Scott, I've been thinking. You seem like a really nice guy, and I can't think of anyone in this school I'd rather go out with. But I'm just not ready to start dating again." She paused, when he didn't say anything she added. "I'm really sorry, but I didn't want to keep stringing you along."

He looked crestfallen. "Are you sure? We could take things slow." he offered.

"I know you're not a high-pressure guy, but yeah I'm sure. I think I need some time to find me by myself before I look for anything romantic. Does that make sense?"

"I guess." He hoisted his backpack higher on his shoulder. "Thanks for letting me know." he walked away.

Buffy felt guilty for making him feel bad but reminded herself that she just might be saving his life.

The training Giles had for her that afternoon was simple combat drills, like he was actually easing up now that she committed to training time. But that's not to say they weren't rigorous. As she went through them he babbled on about what he was planing for the next week or so. She agreed in the appropriate places, but concentrated on her technique. While she didn't think she would be fighting Spike anytime soon, she was sure she would run into other tough vampires sooner or later. When she thought about Spike her mind went back to the fight behind the blood bank. With her renewed joie de vivre would she stand a chance against him now?

She began reenacting that fight with an imaginary Spike. Dodging and blocking what he had thrown at her. She was sure she would fare better now, maybe not beat him, but at least draw. She wondered if he would be willing to spar? She realized then that Giles had stopped talking and was staring at her.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" She asked as she worked to catch her breath.

"Hmm? No, no. I was just impressed with that bit at the end. You seemed to really engage."

"Oh, I pictured an actual opponent, instead of just empty air. It helped a lot."

"Indeed." He was looking at her oddly. "Anyone in particular you were picturing?

"Spike." She didn't see the harm in telling him, Spike was a formidable opponent.

"Does this have anything to do with your dream the other day? Are you beginning to think it was prophetic after all?"

"No. It's just that he's the only vampire I've faced who I haven't been able to beat. Kinda made sense to me to work through some past fights." She shrugged.

"Well, yes, that is logical." he conceded.

"And I know that if Spike hadn't been on my side at the mansion I never would have beat Angel." She said absently as she unwrapped her hands.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Giles looked positively befuddled.

"Oh my god. I never told you did I?" She would have if she hadn't left town. But by the time she got back it was pretty much old news, at least to her.

"Tell me what, exactly?" In annoyance he took off his glasses and started cleaning them.

"That night, after they took you, I was trying to get home without the police catching me. But one did. Spike knocked him out and we made a truce."

"You did what?" he was obviously outraged.

"We called a truce, actually, it was more of an alliance. He told me Angel had you and that he wasn't down with the whole "ending the world" thing. All he wanted was Dru back. So the deal was he'd make sure that Angel didn't kill you and he'd back me up when I got there and I would let him leave with Dru, leave the country I mean." She shrugged. "He wailed on Angel as I fought my way through the minions and you were still alive so I guess he upheld his end of the bargain. I was too busy fighting Angel when he left with Dru that I wouldn't have been able to break my end if I wanted to." She stopped and waited for her watcher to say something but he was just staring into the distance.

"I'm sorry if you're disappointed or you disapprove, but I was all on my own. You were gone and everyone else was hurt."

His look softened, "No, Buffy, I think you did what was necessary and, truth be told, Spike did keep me alive."

"He did?" she asked, maybe with a little too enthusiastically.

"Yes. Angel was frustrated that I wouldn't tell him how to summon Acathla despite the tortures he put me through and was going to take a chainsaw to me, but Spike stopped him."

"Good, I'm glad it worked out." Up to that point she really didn't know if Spike had even tried to keep Giles alive or if it just hadn't been an issue.

"Well not entirely."

"What do you mean?

"It was Spike's idea to call Drusilla into the interrogation. She was able to get into my mind and make me see her as Jenny. I'm rather embarrassed to say that I fell under her spell and revealed what Angel had to do to complete the ritual." He looked ashamed and uncomfortable.

"Giles, you can't blame yourself. It was magic. And you're alive and in one piece which is what's important to me, and it did fulfill Spike's end of the bargain."

"Yes, well in letter if not in spirit, and Angel was going to have me killed after that and Spike found an excuse to keep me alive." he smiled ruefully. "I hate to admit it but I do owe my life to Spike."

"It's good to know he keeps his promises." she murmured.

"Yes, rather. Though I doubt the opportunity for an alliance with Spike will arise again."

"Stranger things have happened on the Hellmouth."

"You're sure this has nothing to do with your dream?" he was looking at her skeptically.

"Yeah, I just guess that brought him to mind." she looked at her watch. "I'm meeting the gang at the Bronze and want to grab a bite and change first, so I should be going."

"Did you want to train tomorrow? You didn't mention weekends on your new schedule."

"Oh." She put her bag on her shoulder. "How about Sunday?" I have a report due and I want to tidy-up the house before Mom gets back."

"Sunday morning?"

"Yeah, Mom should be back midafternoon so I can be home to greet her."

"Very well, I'll see you then."

Bye, Giles."

While she ate the can of soup she had bought the night before, she actually worked on her report. Which, since it wasn't due for a full week, was a homework first for Buffy. She wondered if she was getting her work done and submitting to the training to cover up for her relationship with Spike or to work off the guilt from it. In the end she figured it was probably a little of both.

As she was doing the dishes from the last several days, she started thinking about Spike and what Giles had told her. She was happy to know that Spike had taken an active role in protecting Giles. Not that she thought he had done it for any reason other than to get Drusilla back, but it did help her trust him a little more. It seemed like when he made a promise he kept it.

Dishes done, she walked around the downstairs. There wasn't really much tidying up she would need to do, for the most part she kept to her room or was out, and Spike had done a good job hiding any traces of what they had done last night. After a quick dusting, she decided it was time to get ready to meet the gang at the Bronze and patrol. She opened her closet and scowled. It was always hard to dress for a mixed night. A lot of things she would have worn to the Bronze were not conducive to slaying, like miniskirts, tight skirts and tight pants. And the clothes that would work best for slaying, old sweats or clothes she wouldn't miss if ruined in the line of duty, were not clothes she would want to be seen out in. Plus, this time she didn't want to look like she was out to pick up guys, but she did want to look nice for Spike. She finally settled on some jeans that she thought looked good on her but still allowed her the freedom of motion to fight and a top that could be worn on or off the shoulders. She could look demure at the Bronze and a little sexier when she came home.

She grabbed her purse, quickly checking it for slaying supplies and was out the door. Turning onto the sidewalk she looked back to make sure her window was open.


	8. Chapter 8 After Dinner

Sorry for the long break between posts. I know, I say that a lot but in the last 2 weeks I've worked over 120 hours so time for writing has been hard to come by. I hope this is worth the wait. I should warn you, this chapter is definitely rated M. My apologies for not writing back to everyone who sent in a review, I try to, but my computer and the site have not been agreeing lately.

Again, I own nothing but this particular scenario. All credit goes to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I purposefully kept the scene with Faith short so not to plagiarize. Also my timeline may be off by a day or two, my apologies for any continuity lapses. 

Chapter 8 After Dinner

Hanging out at The Bronze with the gang was okay, but that was all she could say. She chose to sit back in a corner because she saw Scott and still felt guilty. So it was only when the couple on the dance floor was pointed out to her that she noticed that the guy was a vampire. As she and her friends rushed outside after them they were amazed to see the brunette start fighting the vamp. Once she borrowed Buffy's stake and finished off her opponent introductions were made and they retreated back to the corner to get to know Faith, the new Slayer in town.

After Oz asked her about her take on werewolves, Buffy got a sinking feeling.

"So Faith, was disco boy the first vamp you dusted in Sunnydale?" she hoped she sounded less tense than she felt.

"Nope, ran into a blond one down by a cheap motel." she shrugged, to emphasize it wasn't a big deal. Buffy worked to control her expression as she felt her stomach tie in knots.

"Did you have to fight it naked?" Xander asked enthusiastically. Cordelia punched him in the arm.

"No, she was dressed." Faith replied with a coy look, she really liked being the center of attention. "She was pretending to be a hooker to catch victims."

Buffy was surprised at the relief she felt to know it wasn't Spike. She stood, "Well, I promised Giles I would patrol tonight, so I should get going."

"You want I should go with B?" Faith offered. "I'd love to see you in action."

"Nah, you stay here, get to know the gang." Buffy waved her off. "I'm meeting Giles at the school Sunday morning for training. Want to meet up then?"

"Sure sounds like a hoot." As Buffy turned to go Faith was already picking up the uneaten muffin she had left behind.

"See you guys." Buffy said quietly, the others already turning to the new Slayer to hear more tales of her derring do.

Knowing Spike was safe for now, not wanting to compound her lies to Giles, and cognizant of the fact that she had missed two nights of patrol she did a quick run through of the closest cemetery. Literally she did run, a tactic she had used in the past. Like most predators vampires are attracted to someone running and will take off after without thinking. It had its risks, it was harder to hear them coming so she could be caught by surprise, but tonight it worked for her. She managed to flush out two fledgling vamps who were still trailing grave dirt behind them.

Her conscience satisfied she took off at a sprint for home.

She burst into her house, "Spike! Are you here?" she yelled once the door was closed and locked behind her.

"In here." he called from the dining room. "You're early pet, couldn't wait to see me?" He was lighting candles on the table. He looked up when she came in, seeing her worried expression he asked, "Buffy, what's wrong?"

"We have a big problem." she said, then stopped and looked at the table. It was set for a formal dinner, with their "company" plates that had survived the zombie attack and silver and covered serving dishes. "Did you cook all this?" she asked amazed.

"Nah, it's takeout, never was much of a cook, even when I did need food. Wasn't a man's place." he snorted. "What's the problem luv?" he asked steering her back to whatever had her in a tizzy when she stormed in.

"There's another slayer in town."

"Yeah, about that, how come suddenly there's two of you. I've been reading up and for all of recorded history there's only been one at a time."

"Remember when I told you the Master killed me?" he nodded. "Well I was only dead for a couple of minutes, but apparently that was long enough to activate the next slayer. So when Dru killed Kendra; Faith, the new slayer, must have been called."

"Right. Important safety note, if you kill a slayer, make sure she stays dead. With the joys of modern medicine we could end up with a whole army of you lot"

"Spike! That's not the take home here."

""Sorry pet, what's the point?"

"What if she finds you?"

"We fight, I win, no problem." He pulled out a chair for her.

"You can't kill her."

"Well, I'm not going to throw myself on her stake. What do you want me to do?" He looked exasperated.

"Just lay low while she's in town. She's only visiting while her watcher is off on some retreat, it shouldn't be too long." She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Why Slayer, a bloke might think that you cared." He fluttered his lashes at her.

Her mouth hung open for a moment. Did she care? She was almost physically ill when she thought Faith might have already dusted him. But that was just because she had been taken so off guard at the prospect right? She had to think about this, but until she did she wasn't going to admit to anything. "Nooo." she said emphatically. "It's just that I want a rematch with you once I get back up to fighting trim. If anyone is going to dust you in this town it's going to be me."

"Fair enough." he said, he indicated her chair. "Now are you going to eat before this all gets cold?"

"Sorry, yes." She sat, letting him push in her chair, and reached for her napkin, but he grabbed it and spread it on her lap for her. "Where did you find the plates?" she asked as he poured her wine.

"You don't have an attic, so I checked the basement." he said with a shrug. "Salad?" he offered.

"Just a little. This looks really nice Spike, thank you."

"My pleasure. Haven't gotten to romance anyone in a long time, least not what anyone sane would think of as romance." he added as he sat and served himself a smaller portion of salad than hers.

"Maybe if you did this for Dru..."

He shook his head. "Dru has a decidedly different idea of romance, that I won't go into right now." he added when she gave him a quizzical look.

Buffy decided she probably didn't want to know.

"So what does this new slayer look like, so I can steer clear of her?"

"About my height, curvier. Brown hair, long, looks like she wears it loose. Heavy make-up. She was wearing leather pants tonight."

"Are you going to be patrolling with her while she's here?" He asked as he pushed his little bit of salad around on his plate. She suspected he only gave himself some to make her feel less awkward eating in front of him.

"I guess, I hadn't thought about it." She said between mouthfuls.

"Why don't you, then you can just call me, tell me where you'll be and I'll be sure to be elsewhere."

"Yeah, that should work." She felt a little better now that they had some plan in place. She opened her mouth to say something else and the phone rang. "Excuse me." she said as she took another bite of salad and stood.

"You done with that?" he asked, as he also stood.

"Yes."

It was her Mom on the phone. Buffy was relieved to hear she was still planning to stay an extra day after more assurances that it would be fine. Buffy filled her in on the new schedule that she had worked out with Giles, and while Joyce seemed less than thrilled with the prospect of patrolling every night she did like the time set aside for school work. Heading back to the dining room, she realized she hadn't pulled down the sleeves of her top so it would be off the shoulder, so she took a minute to do that and smooth down her hair just a little.

When Buffy got back to the dining room, her salad plate was gone and there was sliced chicken breast in sauce and rice on her plate. "That smells really good."

He noticed the change in her clothing with appreciative eyes. He again held out her chair for her and pushed it in once she sat, his fingers brushed the newly exposed portion of her back.

"There's more if you're really hungry." he said as he took his own seat. "I wasn't sure if this was your only supper tonight, or just a snack."

"This is much better than the soup I had earlier, but this is plenty." She noticed again that he put very little food on his plate, although he did eat a little of this. "This is delicious."

"What did your mum have to say?"

"Just checking on me. But she will be staying the extra night for sure." She smiled shyly at him.

He smiled back, but there was no shyness to it. "Best news I've heard all day." The desire in his eyes lit a fire in her and suddenly she didn't feel hungry, at least not for food.

"You know, maybe I'll just eat this for breakfast." She said as she put her fork down and patted at her mouth with the napkin.

He was standing at her side before she finished scooting her chair back. He held out his hand and when she placed hers in it he pulled her to her feet and covered her mouth with his. His hands on her back pressed her body to his as if he were trying to meld them into one being. Her arms wrapped around his waist, helping to support her as she stood on tiptoes. When he broke off the kiss she was gasping for air. He held her face in his hands and looked at her seriously. "Slayer, if there's any chance you're going to change your mind about this, you better send me away now." His eyes searched hers for any sign of uncertainty or hesitation.

She knew how much restraint he had shown the night before and how hard it had been for him. While she was a little upset about it last night, it was comforting to her today that he had kept his promise. She knew too that if she gave the word he would leave now. But she wanted him, and even if she had some misgivings about the ethics of the situation, they were not enough to stop her from doing this. Nor would it be fair to Spike, who obviously wanted her and had been remarkably selfless up until now.

She answered him, not with words, but with a smile and her hands coming around to undo his belt.

With a roar of triumph, he picked her up and carried her from the dining room. He paused in the foyer. "Sofa or bed?" he asked.

Buffy was tempted to say sofa because it was closer but she decided against it. If any of her friends came over, noises in the living room were more likely to be overheard. "Bed." she told him, then leaned in and started nipping along his neck. He strode purposefully up the stairs, not running, but his long legs taking two steps at a time with ease. As he got to the top of the stairs she sucked his flesh in between her teeth and he growled. "Slayer, you'd make a hell of a vampire."

She pulled her head back and looked at him fearfully. "No, never." Her whole body had tensed.

"Relax, pet, only joking." He leaned his head down and kissed her tenderly. It took a couple of moments before she let herself be lost in the kiss and the tension eased from her. During that time he stopped walking and just held her in his arms, not wanting to compound her unease with any reservations about what they were about to do. He hadn't really been thinking about turning her. He had turned one woman he had cared about and it turned out disastrously, he wasn't about to turn another. He broke off the kiss and stared at her for a moment, then continued on to her room. Did he really care about her? Was this more than him finally getting to have her? His head spun at the possibility. She had started kissing his neck again, which was too distracting to think through. Dissecting his feelings could wait for later.

Crossing the threshold to her room he gently shifted her to her feet. Part of him just wanted to throw her on the bed and proceed, but he didn't want to scare her and they did have all night. He could start slow and work up to something more primal.

When her feet touched the ground she took a step back and brought her arms up in between them with her hands on his chest. "Do you mind if I go freshen up?" she asked tentatively.

His first thought was _Damn I should have just thrown her on the bed and had at it._ But he suppressed a sigh and nodded. "Go ahead, luv, we've got all night. I can wait a coupl'a minutes, but only a couple." he added teasingly.

"That's all I need." she assured him and gave him a quick kiss before ducking into the bathroom.

He started to take his shirt off, but decided against being naked when she came back. Yes, she had seen him naked and aroused before, but again he didn't want to rush it and scare her. He did take off his boots though. She was so short the the extra height was actually a hindrance, plus they were difficult to take off in the heat of the moment.

He looked around the room, it was definitely a teen girl's room, but it was more than that, there was almost a sadness to it. Like it was part of her disguise of normalcy, even now that her mum knew she was the slayer there was nothing visible that would reveal that to anyone. He was sure that hidden in here somewhere were weapons and maybe other tools of the trade, but the room was designed to mask any hint that she was other than what she appeared, maybe even from its inhabitant.

He looked at the bed, he had been relieved last night that it was decent sized, he didn't fancy having to balance on a tiny little mattress all night. There was a small gathering of stuffed animals in front of the pillows. He scooped them up, gently in case she came back in, and set them on her dresser, facing away from the bed. He was sure she wasn't mental like Dru and her dolls, but he doubted she would want them watching and was sure she wouldn't want them trapped beneath them. He crouched to pick up a stuffed pig that had slipped out of his grasp and saw movement in the doorway. Turning his head he saw her, backlit from the hall light. She was wearing a teal, satiny nightgown that seemed to float above her skin. It was almost floor length and had discrete lace panels, it was beautiful.

"Did Mr. Gordo make a break for it?" she asked.

Alright, the sight of her in that nightie must have knocked him silly because that made no sense at all. Standing, pig in hand, he replied. "Sorry, what was that?"

She walked up to him and took the stuffed animal from his hands. "Mr. Gordo." she said holding it up to face Spike.

"Ah." okay he wasn't going mental. "Apparently he doesn't play well with others." He said with a half smile as he brushed a strand of hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

Her breath caught as his fingers grazed her ear and she shoved the pig onto the dresser and wrapped her arms around his waist, turning her face up to kiss him.

His mouth covered hers, he kissed her gently at first, but she demanded more and he wasn't about to deny her. As the kiss deepened, she pulled his shirt up letting her fingers caress his sculpted abs, then chest. His hands had been roaming her back, but he stopped to pull his shirt over his head. When they broke off the kiss, she kissed his chest, covering his nipple and swirling her tongue around it before lightly nipping it. His hand went to the back of her head, his fingers threading through her hair. "Mmm." he murmured, "Bite a little harder pet." he urged. She did, barely, but he made an appreciative noise all the same.

His other hand stroked her back, just down to the start of the curve of her butt. She stretched up on tiptoes trying to get his hand to move lower. Instead on his next upstroke his thumb lightly caressed the side of her breast. She gasped and sucked in his nipple, biting it harder and letting her teeth drag over it as she let it go. His hands still holding her, he took half a step toward the bed. He waited to see if she resisted but he didn't have to wait long, she matched his step and kept walking, propelling them both to the side of the bed. He almost lost his balance when the back of his legs hit the mattress, they were moving so quickly.

He pulled her head back and bent so he could kiss her, then his hands moved down to cover her tight, muscled ass. As he caressed her, he was pulling up her nightgown until he had the skirt gathered in his hands. Then he pulled it up and broke off the kiss to pull it over her head. She swayed slightly against him, then turned her face up to rejoin the kiss. His mouth again met hers as one of his hands traced the column of her neck and the other moved down to cover her breast. She moved back only slightly to give his hand more room and her hands began fumbling with the button on his jeans. He had been waiting for her to do that, although the waiting had gotten almost painful. She didn't have a lot of skill at this and her own nervousness compounded the time it took, but finally she had his pants unbuttoned and started to ease the zipper down.

When his manhood finally slipped free she jumped back slightly and he let out a shuddering sigh. He looked at her, as she stood back a little trying to both look at what she had freed and not look at the same time. He didn't move toward her, but he didn't want to give her long enough that she would scare herself out of this. He half smiled and said softly, "Nothing to fear pet, that's not the end that bites."

She looked up at his face and saw both passion and tenderness and took a half step toward him. "What do I do?" she asked tentatively.

He held out both hands to her, she put hers in his. "Whatever you want to do. You don't have to touch me anymore than this." He pulled her closer until his length was pressed between them. It felt so good, he bit his lower lip. He released her hands and wrapped his arms around her, lightly stroking her back. "Just do what you are comfortable with and stop me if I do anything you're not." He bent his head and kissed her. She kissed him back without hesitation as her hands went around his waist and then down into his jeans, grasping his ass. He grunted his pleasure, moving his own hands lower, hooking his thumbs into the waist band of her panties and slid them down. She wiggled a little once he had them past the swell of her bottom to get them to fall. She stepped out of them at the same time she started to push his jeans down lower.

Breaking off the kiss, she crouched down, sinking to her knees as she worked his jeans off. He stepped out of them, and reached down to pull her back up, but her hands traveled up his legs, then she held his length with both hands. Her hands were so hot and soft that he gasped at the contact. He looked down at her and she licked her lips as she stared at what she held. "How do I...?" she trailed off.

He smiled crookedly, he was going to make her say it. He wanted to show her lightning wouldn't strike just because she talked about sex. "How do you what, luv?"

She blushed and said. "You know..."

"You've got to be able to say it pet or you're not ready to do it." Her hands were fidgeting on him and it felt wonderful. He knew he couldn't hold out much longer, but he didn't want her to be afraid to ask for anything.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope." His eyes twinkled at her. "Tell me what you want to do."

She sighed and stammered, "How do I do oral... How do I perform fell...Oh my god, how is it the proper terms sound so dirty?"

"That's why there are so many euphemisms. Pick one."

He could see her thinking through them in her head, tossing each one out as unacceptable before saying it. Finally she just gave up with a sigh, "What do I do to suck it?" she asked quickly and softly, her cheeks flaming.

"Suck what?" he taunted.

Her eyes shot daggers at him. "This." she said, shifting her grip on him and waving it a little. He couldn't hide the pleasure on his face fast enough and she realized the power she held. She could make him feel as good as he had made her feel last night, which was what she wanted. That realization empowered her, she started stroking him, and her voice went from a whisper to a sultry purr. "Really Spike? You'd rather wait and make me say it, than have me wrap my lips around it."

Bollocks, she turned the tables on him, but now he didn't care. She obviously was enjoying herself and no longer afraid of what she wanted to do. He closed his mouth and could feel the muscle in his jaw clenching. But he nodded, goading her on.

She arched an eyebrow. "You're telling me you'd rather have me go on talking..." She made a show of licking her lips. "...than run my tongue along the underside of it as it slides in and out of my mouth?"

"Oh, fuck." he moaned as her warm breath caressed his ready flesh.

She smiled coyly at him, okay she was enjoying this she admitted to herself, "Not yet, you wanted to discuss sucking first." She fondled his balls and he seemed to bite the air in response. "Maybe I should make _you_ tell _me_ what you want." And she removed her hands from him with a smirk.

Without hesitation he said raggedly, "I want you to suck my cock. I want you to wrap your perfect lips around it and slide it back as your hot tongue strokes it from below."

"That wasn't so hard was it?" she teased before taking a deep breath and guiding him into her mouth. Her bravado fading a little when his size suddenly seemed overwhelming.

"Ahhh." he let out a shuddering sigh. "God that feels so good." He smiled down at her and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. "Yeah, just like that, relax and take it slow at first, only as far as you can." He hit the back of her throat and he could feel her tighten in response. "It's okay relax, now pull back." She did, her cheeks hollowing. "That's it, keep your hand on the base. Yeah, you can hold it tighter. Now do the whole thing again, mmm, go faster when you're ready."

She went slow for a while, and a part of him didn't mind at all, the feel of her hot, wet mouth around him was exquisite and he made sure she knew by the small noises he was making. It was also exquisite torture as another part of him wanted to grab her by the hair and fuck her mouth hard. But as impulsive as he often was, he knew that if her first experience giving head was good, she would be willing, maybe even eager, to do it again. He didn't know how long their truce would last but he was determined to enjoy it while it did.

He reached down and brushed the hair out of her face and she looked up at him questioningly. "You want more instructions?" he asked. She nodded a bit. "Those are the basics, luv, everything else is just style and speed." At her puzzled look he went on. "Don't forget, you've got 2 hands, a tongue and teeth, all have their uses. Ah emph." he grunted as her teeth scraped him. "Yeah, just like, oh guh fffffu!" this time it was her tongue. Her eyes sparkled with the knowledge that she could make him babble senselessly. That spurred her on and she began to go faster, trying different things with her tongue, teeth, and hands while watching his reaction.

His hips started thrusting, but only slightly, like he was trying to hold back, she let her rhythm match his. When he stopped, she wasn't ready and ended up taking him in farther than she thought she could. He gasped through clenched teeth, "Stop pet, I'm gonna come." She didn't stop but looked at him puzzled. "You're sure you want me to come in your mouth?" He asked, obviously fighting for control.

In answer she ran her tongue around the head of his shaft as she brought her hand up between his legs to fondle him.

"Oh fuck!" he began thrusting again, then she felt his balls pull up. He froze in midthrust and her mouth began filling with his seed. She started to gag on it and pulled back just a bit to swallow, but it seemed to keep coming. It took a couple of tries before she was able to swallow without pulling completely away, but finally she did. She realized he had relaxed and was smiling down at her. He held out his hand. She ran her tongue over his tip once more, before releasing him and taking his hand.

He pulled her to her feet, still smiling at her. "Was that okay?" she asked uncertainly.

"Okay? Slayer, that was brilliant!" He covered her mouth with his. He could taste himself on her and it added fuel to the fire of his passion. He released her hand and his hands clutched at her back. She brought her hands around and grabbed his butt, her strong fingers digging into the muscles there. He kissed his way back to her ear and whispered, "Was that the only thing you were planning for tonight pet?"

She pulled her head back to look at him, "Didn't you say we could … um... shag all night?" She looked confused and worried. "I mean you can again, right?"

"Oh yeah, no worries there. Just wanted to make sure you were game." With that he pulled back the covers on her bed with a flourish and swept her up into his arms. He knelt on the bed and laid her down on the far side of it then stretched out on his side next to her.

She reached out a hand to him and traced his cheekbones and his lips. He stayed still, letting her explore. Her hand drifted lower, she traced his pecs and then the defined muscles on his stomach. "Like what you see, luv?" he asked softly.

"Your body is like a greek sculpture, white and perfect." she said distractedly, voicing her inner thoughts.

"The Slayer thinks I'm sexy, the Slayer thinks I'm sexy..." he began in the same sing-song he had used in his hotel room.

She blushed and pushed against his shoulder lightly, "Stop it!"

He just shook his head and kept chanting, his eyes laughing at her, daring her to make him stop.

"Oh, god Spike, can you be more annoying?"

He kept on, but raised his eyebrows, silently asking if she really wanted to see. "The Slayer thinks I'm sexy, the Slayer thinks I'm sexy, the Slayer..."

She grabbed his head and covered his mouth with hers. Her lips and tongue effectively silencing him. He chuckled deep in his throat. His hand went to her breast and pinched the nipple into a peak, she moaned into his mouth and pushed her breast against his hand. Her legs were rubbing together, in her quest for sensation. He broke off the kiss and nuzzled down her neck, stopping to suck in the skin where his teeth had penetrated her. She sucked in air and dug her fingers into his back, he marveled at how much she liked being bit.

She ran her hands down his back, stretching to reach his butt, but with their heads at the same level her arms were just too short. However, her straining against him brought his manhood back to life and she could feel it pressing along her. She rolled back slightly, to put some space between them so she could wrap her hands around it. The noise he made can only be described as a purr as she slowly stroked him. "Feel anything you like, pet" she whispered in his ear in a bad imitation of his accent.

"Oh yeah." He agreed, his voice husky and deep. He shifted his head down to her chest and nipped at the rosy bud there, her hands tightened on him and they both moaned. He moved his hand down her body. Her legs were still pressed together, but when his fingers brushed her light nest between them they parted without hesitation. She was so hot and slick, he had to fight the urge to pull his fingers back to suck her essence from them. He brushed her nub and her hips thrust up to meet his hand.

He stroked her nerve bundle, faster than a human could and she whimpered at the sensory overload. She was trying to run her hands up and down his shaft but her motions were becoming jerky and her breathing uneven. Releasing his cock with one hand she wrapped her arm and one leg around him and tried to roll him on top of her. He resisted. "Spike, I need..." she began with a gasp and then he rolled back so she was straddling him.

She looked confused. "What do I...?" she asked one hand still holding his manhood.

"I think you know luv."

She rose up and moved forward slightly. Her hand angling him back as she directed him into her with the other. They both let out a shuddering sigh as she lowered herself around him.

"God, you are so hot, it's like I'm on fire." he murmured. He gave her a moment to adjust, she was so tight around him he worried that he may be hurting her, he asked, "You okay Slayer?"

She nodded, her golden hair cascading across her breasts. She rose slightly and moaned, "Oh god!" as she lowered again. On her second attempt he helped by tilting his hips down and then up to meet her.

"That's it pet," he said encouragingly as his hands moved to her hips, his thumb moved back to find her nub. "Just keep moving like that, set your pace. You can lean forward or back till you find what feels good."

"Feels so good." she breathed. As she rose a little farther and fell.

"Then just keep going."

"Want it to be good for you." she said shaking her head, her eyes closed. "What...better...you?" she was swallowing her words.

"Doesn't get much better than this, just let yourself go." His thumb circled her pleasure center and she rose high on him coming down hard.

"Gunh nya!" she grunted. And repeated the movement. She laced her fingers in the hair at her temples and pressed her hands against her head as if she was afraid it would explode.

He could come anytime now, he was just holding back til she was ready. His jaw was clenched with the effort. He looked up at her, her body glistening in the faint light. Keeping his thumb on her, he moved his other hand up to her breast, squeezing it before pinching her nipple. She leaned forward into his hand, lowering one of hers to brace herself against his shoulder. Her eyes popped open and he knew the new angle intensified what she was feeling, pushing her to the edge. He increased his thrusting as she began to lose control of her movements and she toppled over into ecstasy. Her nails dug into his shoulder as he roared his own release, her inner spasms tearing down any control he had left.

She drooped across him, forehead resting on his chest, hand clutching his shoulder, flesh still quivering around him. He brought both hands up to her back where he lightly traced circles on her skin. Her heart was slowing down, but still her pulse sang to him. He tried to ignore it, listening to her breathing instead. He relaxed and started to slip from her and she said "No!" and held on to him within. "I want to do that again." She started moving on him and his flesh responded.

"Just like that?" he asked, "There's more than one way to skin a cat you know."

"That was so amazing, I want to feel like it again." she insisted.

"Trust me." he grinned at her and rolled them so he was on top. Before she could recover from the surprise he pulled out of her. She whined and tried to pull him back, but he evaded her. Rising on his knees he pulled her up so she was on her knees facing him. He cupped her face in his hands and slowly pulled her in for a kiss. She expected a wild, hungry kiss, like so many of theirs had been up til now, but this was slow and seductive. Keeping the fire of her passion going without fanning it into an inferno. At first her hands roamed impatiently over his back and butt, trying to entice him into losing control. But his kiss was so sensual that she began to lose herself in it and her hands settled on his waist. After a few more minutes he kissed his way back to her ear, lightly nipped her earlobe before he whispered.

"A wise man once said life is a journey, not a destination. The same is true about sex. Take it slow." he started kissing down her neck.

"Hmmm." she purred as she tried to concentrate on what he said. Then she asked. "Wasn't that a car commercial?"

His forehead landed on her shoulder as he mumbled, "Bloody awful American education system." He raised his head and looked at her. "No, pet, it was Ralph Waldo Emerson. One of the brighter blokes from this side of the pond." He brushed her hair back from her face, tracing her ears with his fingers as he did. "The point is: we have all night and we don't need to rush."

She nodded, "Ill try...it's just that I've never...how you make me feel...I don't want it to stop."

"Not going to make it stop. But the longer the climb the higher the peak." His fingertips lightly trailed up and down her upper arms just at curved between the back and the inner side. She shivered at the sensation.

"You're saying it's better slow?" Her hands roaming his back.

"Can be, can't speak for you. Want to give it a try?"

"But if tonight's our only night, I just want to experience all I can."

He was surprised at the hurt he felt. "Why should tonight be our only night?"

"Mom's coming back, and we can't do this with her here."

"We can always meet elsewhere. You can come to me after patrolling."

"Really?" the sadness receding from her eyes. "Where are you staying?"

"The same place, that big house."

The color drained from her face. "No, I can't go back there." she whispered looking away.

Spike cursed under his breath. "Sorry pet, didn't think about it. I understand that." He pulled her close. Of course she wouldn't want to go back to where she had had to kill Angel. "Tell you what, I'll find a new place."

"You'd do that?" she asked into his shoulder.

"Yeah." he shrugged. "I don't care where I stay, it was just convenient. But if I have a choice of being alone in a mansion or with you in a hole in a wall, there's no contest." Did I really just say that? He thought to himself, surprised that he did and that he really meant it.

"Thank you." she said softly, pulling back to look up at him. Her eyes were filled with tears.

He brought a hand up to cup her cheek. "You know what? Let's do slow another night." And he bent and met her lips with a hungry kiss.

She gladly threw herself into the passion of the kiss, the intensity of it blocking out all other emotions. She pressed herself to him, her arms wrapped around him as if he were a rock in a flood, the only thing keeping her above water.

He sank down on his haunches, pulling her up and back with him, so that she was straddling his thighs. This put her head slightly higher than his, she kissed back to his ear, nuzzling it and nipping at the lobe. Reaching her neck, he trailed love bites over the artery. He was relieved that he was able to keep his demon at bay, especially since she enjoyed it so much she writhed against him. His manhood, pressed between them, hardened. When she felt it against her stomach she brought her hands around to encircle him. He moaned as her hot hands began to stroke him. His hand came up and cupped her breast and his head ducked down farther to suck on the hard tip. His other hand slipped between her legs and the fingers parted her, pinching her nub.

Surprised, she sucked in air and clamped down her teeth, unfortunately his ear was still in her mouth and she bit it, hard. He grunted, pulling his mouth away from her breast. She tasted the blood in her mouth and brought her head up. "Oh my God! You're bleeding! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Tears were forming in her eyes again. He glanced at her and then quickly looked to the side.

"Easy luv, it's all right." He brought his hand up to feel his ear. "It's still attached so it'll heal." He chuckled, "I'll just have to remember to be careful what you have in your mouth before I do this again." He again pinched her pleasure center. She jerked against him and groaned, biting her lip. "Unless you don't like that of course." he said glibly.

"Oh god." she swallowed hard as he began stroking her. "You're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah pet."

"Then why won't you look at me?" Other than that one glance he hadn't.

He forced himself to look at her and his eyes locked on her mouth. "You've got blood..." he began and stopped to lick his lips.

"But it's yours." she looked at him, puzzled by his reaction.

His hand shot behind her head and pulled her mouth down to his. He kissed her hungrily, covering her lips so he could suck the blood from them. She was a little scared at first that he had lost control, but his teeth didn't sharpen and once the blood was gone the kiss became less frenzied but still passionate. His other hand kept teasing her nerve bundle, quickly bringing her close to completion again. Pulling back from the kiss she pushed against him, trying to get him to lie back like he did before but he resisted her. Instead his hands went to her waist and he raised her slightly. Rubbing the head of his shaft across her nub, she directed him into her and impaled herself on him. A long shuddering sigh escaped her as their bodies met.

Looking down, Spike's expression matched how she felt, his eyes were half closed and he was biting his lip with a slight smile on his face. She gave him a quick kiss before rising up. His mouth moved to her breast, sucking and teasing the tip as she rose and fell in a quickening rhythm. Her arms wrapped around his head, holding him there. He arched his lower torso back slightly so he could work a hand between them, his fingers searching out her nub and stroking it in rhythm with her movements. "Spi...mmm...gunh!" she babbled. He smiled against her breast, pleased at how he could drive her speechless with passion. He pinched her nub again and she tightened her grip on him both with her arms and her internal muscles, which seemed to be imbued with the same superhuman strength as the rest of her. Although why a slayer would need that he wasn't sure, just thankful.

She hadn't come yet, but she was so close that she was losing control and couldn't keep a steady rhythm. Wrapping his arm around her and cradling her head in his hand, he shifted them, so she was lying on her back. He thrust into her, trying to match the rhythm she had set. Her hips rocked to meet him. He supported himself on one elbow as his fingers continued to stroke her. Her hands moved across him, quickly and jerkily as if she couldn't remember from one moment to the next what she wanted them to do, where she wanted them to be.

He looked down at her. Her face glistened with sweat and little wisps of hair were plastered to her forehead. Her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. He thrust harder, and she clutched at him, on his next thrust she met him just as hard. He had been holding back, afraid he would hurt her, had she been doing the same thing? His next thrust was harder still and so was hers, neither of them could have done this with an ordinary human, it would have been too painful, but it wasn't even hurting him yet and she seemed to be enjoying it. "Stop me if I'm hurting you pet." he gasped out.

She shook her head from side to side. "No, so good, don't stop."

Between thrusts he pinched her nub again. Her whole body arched with her release as she shouted his name. He came with her, her muscles clamping down around him. As her spasms waned he leaned in and kissed her softly, pulling back to smile down on her as her eyes blinked open.

She smiled back, bringing her hand up to run it through his hair. She chuckled silently.

"What's funny?" he asked bemused.

"Your hair, I messed it up. Short as it is, I wouldn't have thought it could be." Her hand went to her own hair. "Although I imagine I'm not one to talk right now. I must be a mess."

He moved to her side as he withdrew from her. "You look gorgeous to me."

She shifted uncomfortably, "Thanks, but no, I'm gross, all sweaty and..." she rubbed her thighs together, "icky."

He leaned in and kissed her shoulder, his tongue lightly flicking her skin. "You don't taste icky to me."

"Not my shoulder..." she started. But she stopped when she saw the wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Did you mean here?" he asked as he slid down the bed and kissed her breast, sucking the rosy tip.

"No." she whispered.

He kissed down to her navel, his tongue darted inside and she shivered. "Here?"

"Uh-unh." her breath was speeding up. But when he started kissing lower she shook her head. "No Spike, I mean it, I'm gross." She kept her legs pressed together.

He bent his head and his tongue dipped in between her legs causing her to gasp as he sighed. "I think the word is delicious." When she didn't open her legs to him he kissed and licked along where her thighs met, tasting their mixed essence. The muscles in her legs quivered under his lips and with a sigh she relaxed them, granting him access to her most private place.

The next several minutes were filled with moans and murmurs of passion as his mouth made her feel anything but icky and he savored the traces of their lovemaking. He took his time, feeding her desire slowly to prolong the pleasure for both of them. She grabbed handfuls of sheet as he brought her closer to her peak and her legs wrapped around him. His fingers entered her and massaged her within. Her whole body went rigid and she yelled out "Spike!" as she went over into rapture and she began to gush. Nectar of the gods, he thought as he drank from her. His enthusiastic ministrations sent her over into a second wave of ecstasy.

He was brushing the hair back from her face, his fingers combing the tangles out, when her eyes fluttered open again. He smiled down on her, "You alright there pet?"

"Define alright." she answered. She slowly stretched, as if she wasn't sure she had any control of her own body. "That was unbelievable."

"Yeah." he agreed with no trace of mockery.

She swallowed, "Thirsty." she said simply.

He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, before standing. "Water or wine?"

"I think it better be water." She pushed herself up on her elbows, then collapsed back again. "I might need new bones too."

"There I can't help. Be back in a mo'." He padded off and she enjoyed the view as he went. She hoped she had been able to make him feel even a fraction as good as he had her. She hadn't known she could feel anything close to that.

She forced herself to stand, reclaiming control of her limbs. She ducked into the bathroom and was out again as he was coming up the stairs. He held out a glass of ice water to her and she took it with thanks. In his other hand he carried the wine bottle and two glasses. "Just in case, for later." he said with a shrug. She drank about half the glass of water on her way to the bed, setting the glass on her nightstand. He got in bed on the other side and stretched out his arms to her. She crawled in, pulled up the covers and nestled in his arms.

"A little rest while my bones grow back?" she asked softly.

"Fine with me." he replied as he pulled her a little closer.


	9. Chapter 9 Willow talk

Sorry, sorry, sorry, my computer died and I am having to reconstruct everything from what I wrote on paper and memory. I'm working hard to get it all back together. I hope this chapter is okay, I usually proofread things several times but truncated the editorial process because I know it has been too long between posts.

All characters and the Buffyverse are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Chapter 9 Willow Talk

They lay there, exhausted and sated, at least for now. He was on his back, one arm around her, his fingers lightly running up and down her arm. Her head was on his chest and she half-covered him. His cool body feeling wonderful against her burning flesh.

She admired his sculpted torso as her fingers slowly traced the muscles. His body was flawless and his skin unbroken, not a mark to show his past battles. At that thought she shifted, turning her head to look up at him, bringing her arm up to rest her chin on it. She looked at him puzzled.

"Something wrong pet?" he asked looking down at her.

She brought her other hand up to trace the scar on his eyebrow. "How did you get this?"

"That? It's my Slayer's mark." He said, his voice filled with pride.

"What's a Slayer's mark?" She had never heard of such a thing, and being the slayer you would think she would have.

"I got it fighting my first slayer." He provided by way of explanation.

"But that was over 100 years ago. Why didn't it heal?"

"Cause it's my Slayer's mark." He reiterated as if it should be obvious. At her blank look he explained. "Sometimes when a vampire and a slayer fight a wound doesn't fade, it leaves a scar." His finger traced the Master's bite mark. "Works the other way too. Didn't you ever wonder why this never healed?"

"I just figured it was because I died." Her fingers joined his at the scar and intertwined. "What causes it?"

"Not sure. Some think it only happens when one is destined to kill the other. Others think a sacred weapon has to be involved. But that doesn't explain the bite scar. I think the first one makes more sense, although since so few vampires survive a fight with a slayer without killing her it might just be something that always happens when fighting a slayer."

"Did I leave a mark on you?" she asked, her eyes scanning his body.

"Nope, although we'll have to see about the ear." He smiled, she slapped his chest lightly. "But other than that you never broke the skin. That slayer in China had a sword. Another inch and she would have taken my eye."

"Maybe neither of us is destined to kill the other." she said a little bit of hope creeping into her voice.

"Might be." That upset him, and he tried to tell himself that it was because he wanted to be the one to kill her. But he knew that was a lie. He didn't want anyone to kill her, at least not now. The thought of her dead was like an icy hand twisting his guts.

"I wonder why I've never heard of Slayer's marks before. I'll have to ask Giles about it." That reminded her of her earlier conversation with her watcher. "I talked to Giles today about you."

He looked surprised, "You told him about us?"

"God no. But I realized I hadn't told him about us teaming up against Angel. He told me that you twice stopped Angel from killing him. Thank you." She said sincerely and stretched up to kiss him lightly.

He tried to shrug off what he did, but he stroked her cheek with the back of a finger. "Said I would didn't I? Though I was really doing it to protect Dru."

"I know, but you had to have known that in the confusion of the fight you two could have probably slipped away even if he had died."

"Couldn't take the chance on losing Dru. Though fat lot of good that did me." But he found that the hurt of Dru leaving him had faded. Sure his pride was hurt, but he wasn't in a hurry to go looking for her.

"Oh, I don't know." she began, laying her head back down on his chest. "I can pretty much guarantee that we wouldn't be here like this if he hadn't lived. I'd've probably hunted you down."

He stroked her hair. "Then I guess it worked out pretty well after all."

They spent hours drifting between sleep and love-making. The urgency and primality replaced by a tender playfulness as they explored each other, finding the little spots that fed the fire.

Buffy was just teasing him awake by kissing along his collarbone when a thumping on the front door made them both jump. Willow's frenzied voice floated up to them. "Buffy! Are you there?" she yelled, then pounded on the door several more times. "Buffy, I need to talk to you please!"

Buffy jumped up and threw her robe on. "Stay here!" she whispered urgently to Spike. He just nodded and stretched, the sight of which would have pulled her back to the bed if it weren't for the incessant knocking coming from below.

Smoothing her hair, she hurried down the stairs. She worried at the frantic tone in her friend's voice. She realized that she had no real idea of what time it was except that she could tell it was daytime from the narrow window by the door. Buffy pulled open the door and had to dodge Willow's fist as she went to pound on the door again.

"Will, what's the matter?" Buffy asked as she pulled her inside. The girl looked a wreck. Judging by the dark circles under her eyes she hadn't slept and she was skittishly moving from foot to foot like a little kid who had to go potty. Closing the door quickly, Buffy put her arm across Willow's shoulders and steered her toward the couch.

"Buffy...I...er...It..."Willow stammered as she wrung her hands together. She sat briefly when they reached the couch but popped up and started pacing as soon as she looked at Buffy.

"Will, what is it?" Buffy asked again, beginning to get freaked out by her frantic state. "Has someone been hurt?" Maybe a more direct line of questioning would help.

"No, no." Willow said quickly. "At least I don't think so..." then went back to opening her mouth to speak, only to close it again.

"Okay, has there been an attack?" Twenty questions was not a way to find out about a crisis.

Willow shook her head, but words still did not flow from her open mouth, she paced faster.

"Did you see something?"

"See?" she stopped in her pacing.

Buffy latched onto that. "What did you see?"

"I didn't mean to see it. I wasn't snooping. You know me, no snooping except scooby snooping." She wouldn't keep eye contact. "But it was there and... well...I didn't know what it was...I couldn't have known, I mean who could? I mean, I never would have guessed it was what it was. But I did see it and I tried to pretend I didn't, but you can't unsee something you know? Especially something like that. Although maybe it wasn't what I thought it was. I mean, I might be misinterpreting it. It might not mean what I think it means, but I spent all night trying to get it to mean something other than what I think it means but what else could it mean? You know what I mean?" The redhead looked at Buffy nervously, but she had stopped pacing.

"Not a clue." Buffy stood and took Willow by both hands, pulling her back down on the couch. "Okay, you saw something that gave you a wiggins, but you're not sure what you saw means what you think it means. Is that it?"

Her friend nodded.

Buffy sighed, well that's some progress. "Okay, let's take this slow. Where were you when you saw it?"

"In my room."

That surprised Buffy, what could possibly be in Willow's room that could freak her out like this? "What were you doing?"

"I was looking through that art history book I borrowed..."she had again dropped her eyes.

"Was it something in the book? I know some of that art can be pretty disturbing."

"It was in the book, but not part of the book, not art."

"Will, I'm lost here, help me so I can help you."

"Like I said I didn't mean to snoop. And I might be making mountains when there are only mole hills. I mean I hope it's just a mole hill, a little, furry, creepy, blind mole wouldn't be so bad right now."

"Tell me what you saw." Buffy asked exasperated.

Willow slowly reached into the front pocket of her red overalls and pulled out a folded piece of paper. It looked old like it had been unfolded and refolded a hundred times. The edges were tattered and crinkled. "It fell out of the book." She handed it to Buffy with shaky hands.

Buffy took the paper, what could possibly be on this worn old page that had gotten her friend in such a tizzy. But as she unfolded it she felt the color drain from her face. It was the note Spike slid under her door. Willow must have worried over it all night, wearing it out.

"Buffy? Why are you getting notes from Spike?" Willow asked softly.

"I...we...Spike..." she stammered.

"Buffy, you and Spike aren't... are you?" she was too embarrassed to say what she suspected.

"Will..." she started, torn between lying to her best friend or telling her the truth and freaking her out all the more.

Spike swaggering through the open french doors took that decision away from her. "Looks like the jig's up pet." Buffy glanced over at him and groaned at the situation. Although she was relieved he had bothered to put pants on, apparently a shirt was too much to hope for.

"Spike!" Willow yelled and jumped up from the couch, backing up into the corner by the fireplace.

"Relax Red." Spike said as he plopped into the armchair. "I'm not feeling peckish right now. Although I'd kill for a smoke. Where'd I leave my jacket?" He looked around.

"You can't smoke in here, Mom would kill you." Buffy said

"After last night, I don't think _that's_ why she'd kill me." He said with a wink.

Buffy's cheeks flooded with color. "You're really not helping Spike." She turned back to her friend who had watched the entire exchange from her refuge on the hearth with horror. "Willow, he won't hurt you, come on, sit down." she patted the couch beside her.

"Buffy, how...I mean...after what happened with Angel..." Willow looked hurt and scared and didn't move.

"Don't compare me to that wanker!" Spike said vehemently and Willow shrank back further into the corner.

"Spike! Can you give us a minute? Alone." Buffy asked pointedly.

"Fine." he stood. "You ladies fancy a cuppa?"

"Cuppa?" Buffy asked confused.

"A cup of tea." Spike clarified. "You lot shouldn't call it english if you're not going to speak it proper."

"Fine, yes, a cup of tea would be great." she agreed. He headed to the kitchen and she shouted after him, "And put your shirt on!"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get your knickers in a twist." he said as he headed towards the kitchen, then under his breath, but just loud enough to be heard, "Not that you're wearing any."

"Oh god." Willow moaned, all color was gone from her.

"Will, sit, before you faint." Buffy didn't stand for fear of her friend recoiling from her.

"O...okay." She slowly moved back to the couch although she looked ready to bolt at the slightest provocation. "So it's true." she said softly.

"Yeah, it's true. I'm sorry Will, I didn't want you to find out like this." or at all, she added silently to herself.

"But what if after... after _you know_..."she whispered the innuendo. "he goes all evil?"

"I _am_ evil." Spike said adamantly from the doorway.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled, "I said _alone_."

"I just put the kettle on and was heading up to get my shirt. Just had to set the record straight."

Buffy shot daggers at him from her eyes.

"I'm going." he said and headed up the stairs.

When she turned back to Willow, the redhead was looking down, but her eyes were darting side-to-side and her mouth was hanging open. She looked like she was in shock.

"Will," Buffy took her hands. "Look at me. Take a deep breath." she ordered and inhaled deeply to demonstrate.

Willow followed instructions and after several breaths seemed a little calmer.

"Better?" Buffy asked.

"I...I think so." Willow responded. Her eyes went to the doorway before she asked softly. "Is he really still evil?"

"Yeah, I am." Came his voice from the kitchen.

Buffy just rolled her eyes, but squeezed Willow's hands. "He's still the same Spike."

"Then how can you trust him?"

"He's kept some really big promises and he had the chance to kill me and didn't." She shrugged.

"But how did you even...When did you get together?"

Buffy quickly recounted their alliance against Angel then added, "I ran into him in LA and he... really helped me again. In return I told him he could come here to look for Dru as long as he didn't hurt anyone and one thing led to another." she waited for Willow to speak, but the girl just sat there blankly.

"Say something Will." Buffy urged.

"I'm sorry Buffy. It's just that this is harder to wrap my head around than Xander and Cordelia." She chuckled half-heartedly. "It's up there with string theory."

Buffy laughed, "Oh yeah. If someone had told me six months ago that I'd be seeing Spike..."

"I _can_ hear you, you know." He came in carrying a tray with the teapot and cups, which he placed on the coffee table. Willow shifted back slightly.

"Oh? And if someone had told you that what would you have thought?" she asked defensively.

He thought about it a moment then said, "All right, fair point." He picked up the teapot. "Shall I be mother?" he asked formally.

The two girls stared blankly at him, his jaw flexed in annoyance. "Should I pour?" he clarified, but they continued to stare.

"What?" he asked.

"Your accent changed, you just sounded more like Giles." Buffy said.

He looked sheepish for a second then blustered in his usual accent. "Just putting on airs for the tea is all." He poured himself a cup and sat back down, clearly sulking. "But suit yourself."

Buffy poured tea for herself and Willow, handing her the cup. She took it with shaky hands, but less shaky than a few minutes ago.

They drank their tea in silence, the clinking of cups on saucers the only sound. Buffy looked back and forth between Willow and Spike. Willow would look away but Spike would meet her eyes and give her a slight smile. She almost jumped out of her skin when Willow spoke.

"So Spike." She tried to say with some strength, but her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and started again. "If you're here looking for Drusilla, what happens if you find her?"

Buffy looked down at her teacup, holding her breath for his answer.

"Haven't really been looking too hard the last couple of days." He began. "But I told Buffy, if I found her I'd take her out of the country, make sure she's not a problem." Buffy's throat tightened, even though she knew this, it hurt to think he would really just leave.

"Then this is just a temporary thing?" Willow challenged. Buffy didn't look up, but she saw Spike straighten and shift forward in his chair.

"Ooh, who'd've thought that the quiet one had a pair?" he said appreciatively. "Are you asking what my intentions are?

"Yes, yes I am." Buffy could hear the bravado in her friend's voice. She smiled slightly not only because she knew it was mostly false, but that Willow cared enough about her to stand up for her when she was obviously scared.

"Truthfully? I can't say." he said simply then he grow more serious. He spoke slowly, "We've been drawn together like a moth to the flame. I'm just not sure which of us is which. But for as long as this lasts I'm willing to get my wings singed for it." Buffy raised her head, looking first at Willow who seemed entranced by him. "I just don't know how long that will be. These things are tricky, sometimes the candle burns too hot, the moth flies too close, the candle goes out..." he paused. She turned to look at him, watching his Adam's apple move as he swallowed he started speaking again it sounded as if his throat were as constricted as hers. "But sometimes it lasts, moth and candle fluttering together until dawn." he shrugged slightly. "Maybe that'll be us, if we're lucky."

"If you're asking if I'm gonna hurt her, no." He turned his head and looked at Buffy, his eyes full of a mixture of admiration and tenderness. "She's been hurt enough by what's been done to her and more so by what she's had to do. I'm not going to add to that." He turned back to Willow and Buffy blinked rapidly to dispel her tears. "And because it would hurt her, I won't hurt you or any of her friends. I'm sticking to the straight and narrow right now, not because I've changed and aren't evil anymore, but because I'm not gonna do anything that would make her have to hunt me down. That's a pain she shouldn't have to go through again."

It seemed to take Willow a moment to snap out of the spell of his words. She shook herself slightly and resumed her brave facade. "But if it doesn't last, what will you do if it ends?"

"Now that's a trickier question, innit?" he leaned back. "I can tell you what I won't do. I won't go off half-cocked plotting some complicated, long-term revenge scenario, like some bloody-ponce who shall remain nameless. I don't have the patience or taste for that." He turned to Buffy. "That I can promise you. I won't go after your friends."

She nodded, "What about me?" she asked softly.

"I suppose it depends on if the passion just fades and we can walk away or we end up hating each other. Then, I guess, we have a last battle and one of us goes out in a blaze of glory. But no mind games, no terror campaign, just you and me proving who's best." There was no malice in his voice, his expression, no excited anticipation for that possibility, only a somber acceptance of the inevitability of their fate. He stood and walked to Buffy then crouched down and took her free hand in his and locked eyes with her. "I know it's not the rosiest of pictures, but it's honest and the best case scenario if this explodes." He smiled crookedly. "On the bright side, my last relationship lasted over a hundred years so there should be no worries."

She hand tightened on his and she chuckled through her tears. "That is a pretty good record."

"Buffy..." Willow said quietly, her voice tinged with worry.

Buffy looked at her friend. "It's all right Will. I didn't expect anymore than that, in fact that's better than what I thought the worst case would be." The budding witch opened her mouth to argue , but Buffy pressed on. "There was always a chance Spike and I would fight to the death someday so this doesn't change anything."

"Do you love him?" she asked.

"After everything that happened with Angel, I don't know if I _can_ love again." She felt Spike squeeze her hand harder and see the muscle tense in his jaw. "But he's making me happy now and last night, when I thought for a minute that Faith had killed him my stomach tied in knots. I don't know what this is, but I don't want it to stop." She handed her teacup to Spike so he had to release her hand. She took Willow's out of her hands and set it on the table. Then took her friend's hands in her own. "But I don't want to lose you either. Can you deal with this?"

"I'll try. Does Giles know?"

Buffy sighed. "No, I mean this is new, really new, and it got pretty serious pretty fast, so I haven't had a chance to tell him yet." she looked pleadingly at Willow. "Please don't tell him. Give me a little while to figure out how, okay?"

"I don't know Buffy. This is big. I don't know if I _can_ not tell him." Willow squirmed in her seat. Buffy knew she wasn't good with secrets.

"It's just for a bit, not forever. I will tell him, promise." she crossed her heart.

"O...o...okay. I'll try." She already looked anxious.

She hated to dump fuel on the fire but Buffy added. "Please don't tell Xander either." She knew she confided in Xander about everything.

Willow nodded. "Yeah, he wouldn't take it well."

Buffy smiled, both at the understatement and the implication that Willow had taken it well. Although she had to admit it could have been worse.

Willow seemed to come to some inner decision. She took a deep breath and asked. "Buffy can I speak to Spike alone?" catching them both off guard.

"Really? Alone?" Buffy asked.

"Yes." She had her determined look on.

Buffy turned and looked at Spike. He gave a little nod. She stood adjusting her robe. "Be nice." She told him as she turned to go.

"I will if she will." he chuckled. He turned to face Willow, who was watching Buffy leave. "All right Red, what did you want to chat about?"

When Willow turned to face him there was a fierce intensity to her. "If you hurt her I will hunt you down."

While he wasn't surprised at her words he was surprised at the vehemence behind them. Not that he was going to let her see that. "Yeah, yeah. You'll find me and stake me in my sleep. Didn't expect anything less from her friends. I promised her I wouldn't hunt you all down, doesn't mean I won't kill you to defend myself though."

"What are you really playing at?"

He just shrugged, "I already told you, story's not going to change because Buffy's out of earshot."

"What did you do to her?" she pressed.

"That's a bit personal innit? I'm sure Buffy wouldn't want me to kiss and tell, plus your virginal ears might fall off." He waggled his eyebrows at her, smiling with his tongue rolled up behind his teeth.

She scowled. "No, what did you do to her to make her fall for you? Is it a love spell, hypnotism, some kind of glamour, what?"

"Didn't do any of that, I was just my own charming self." he said, flashing his best smile. At her scoff of disbelief, he sighed and said. "It's just what Buffy told you. We teamed up against her ex. Then in LA we ran into each other. I helped her with some...stuff."

"What stuff?" she asked suspiciously.

He sighed in exasperation and stood impatiently. Willow jumped back but he walked to the base of the stairs. "Buffy!" he shouted up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" came the response.

"Getting the third degree from Red here, she wants to know what I helped you with in LA. Way I see it it's your secret. You want me to tell her?" he nodded and returned to the living room. He sat down on the edge of the chair and spoke in hushed tones. "The reason why Buffy left was because she wanted to be done with it."

"What, the slaying?"

He shook his head, "Being the Slayer."

"Isn't it the same thing?" Willow asked, confused.

"No, she was hiding from the slaying, but you've got to be dead to stop being the Slayer." he said grimly.

"Are you saying Buffy tried to kill herself?" Willow was aghast.

He shook his head. "She didn't realize she was so far gone. I realized it when we fought..."

"You fought?"

"Yeah, she got wind I was in town and figured it was her duty to confront me. But she wasn't up to it. I tried to get her to walk away, but she wouldn't so I ended up knocking her out."

"You didn't kill her? Why?"

He shrugged, "I had my reasons. But when she came to I pressed her until she told me why she wanted to die."

"When you say 'pressed' her, do you mean you tortured her?" Willow asked sharply.

"Nah, just some whiskey and a game of truth or dare."

"Spike, be serious." she looked at him in utter disbelief.

"I am, totally serious. Ask her yourself if you don't believe me."

"Why would she play truth or dare with you?"

"I goaded her into it." he said then smirked. "Though I suppose she didn't have much choice, what with being chained to my bed and all."

Her reaction was everything he had hoped for, surprise, followed by indignation, followed by rage. "What? Why? Oh my god, did you...you didn't..." she sputtered.

"Rape her?" he provided. She nodded her lips drawn into a thin line. "Do you think we'd be all cozy today if I did?" He asked his eyebrows raised. "I even left her clothes on. Pretty magnanimous of me don't you think?"

Willow looked disgusted, but didn't rise to the bait. "Then why did you chain her to your bed?"

"I wanted to find out what was up with her and I knew she wouldn't stick around to tell me if it was up to her. So I told her some bull about not letting her go until sundown so she wouldn't know where I was while I was sleeping."

"But why the bed?"

"It was that or the floor." he shrugged. "At least the bed was comfortable." he grinned, "Plus, doesn't it make it wonderfully tawdry?"

"God, what else did you make her do?"

"Do you really want me to recount the whole bloody game, or do you want me to tell you how I helped her?" Thinking about the game was actually turning him on and he realized he'd rather get back upstairs to Buffy than keep stringing Willow along, fun though it was.

"Yeah, right, sorry. How did this awful situation help Buffy?" she challenged.

"I got her to tell me why she wanted to die, facing it, saying it, getting it off her chest was what she needed. Keeping it bottled up was killing her. Once she let it go, it opened the floodgates. She ended up crying herself to sleep in my arms." His throat was tight remembering her in that much pain.

"Because she killed Angel? But we all knew she must have, it wasn't a secret. After everything he did she seemed ready to do it."

He smiled ironically, "Oh, she was ready to kill Angelus. But somehow, at the last minute, he got his soul back, but it was too late. In order to save the world she still had to kill him. So all of us could keep walking on this Earth she sent the man she loved to Hell." He could feel his own anger at the position she was put in. "No one should ever have to make that choice, but she did. She had the strength and the selflessness, to save us all even though she knew what it would do to her." He shook his head. "So am I playing at something? Is this some sort of sick game to bring her down? Am I planning on hurting her? Hell, it's all I can do to keep from falling to my knees before her. That slip of a girl has endured more true pain than I can imagine and if I can keep her from having to experience any more I will. And if I can bring her any happiness or pleasure it would only be a fraction of what she deserves." He said all this staring past Willow, more as a realization of his own motives than an explanation for her. So it was only when he had finished that he looked at her.

She was rocking slightly back and forth, tears streaming down her cheeks, mouthing "oh god" over and over again silently.

"You all right there Red?" he asked. When she didn't answer he snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"It's my fault, oh god, it's all my fault!" She sobbed.

"What's your fault?"

"I did it, I did the spell to get Angel's soul back."

"_You_ did it?" He had no idea the girl was a witch.

She nodded, "I thought if he wasn't evil anymore she wouldn't have to kill him. I never thought that she would have to anyway. If I did, I wouldn't have." she just sat there crying silently.

"When did I become the bloody father confessor?" Spike muttered then got up and called softly up the stairs. "Slayer."

"Are you guys done?" She asked when she appeared at the top of the stairs. Spike was somewhat disappointed to see that she was dressed. Although looking at the light green, flowered sundress he calculated it would take less than 10 seconds to shed, hopefully that's what she had in mind when she chose it.

"I think I broke Willow."

"What!" Buffy came running down the stairs.

He blocked her with a hand on the railing. "I didn't know she was the one that worked the mojo what got Angel's soul back." he whispered. "If I had I wouldn't have been so blunt. She's drowning in guilt."

"Sorry, I should have told you it was probably her. Let me see if I can calm her down."

"Good luck with that. Peckish?"

"Starving. Please tell me you brought something."

He smiled. "I had a feeling you might work up an appetite." He nodded towards Willow. "Go see to her."

He headed into the kitchen, he had moved the dishes from last night in there when he went to make tea, now he stacked him to the side of the sink. He might be walking the straight and narrow right now, but that didn't include doing the washing up. He listened to the girls talking in the other room as he got out the cheese that was left from the picnic along with some fresh bread and fruit that he had brought along last night.

For the first several minutes it was mostly Willow sobbing and both begging Buffy for forgiveness at the same time she argued she didn't deserve it. Finally, Buffy convinced her that she had come to terms with it and didn't blame anyone, though Spike knew she still blamed whatever made her the Slayer, but that wasn't Willow so it was close enough to the truth.

The conversation turned to him, initially Willow checking out his story, making sure it was the truth. Buffy confirmed it of course and managed not to go into anymore detail when answering the questions. Then Willow asked Buffy again about how she felt about him. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help but listen.

"I don't know Will." she began. "Like I said, he's making me happy, and for a while I didn't think that would ever happen again."

"Is it just the...you know?" Spike smiled at the girl's embarrassment.

"No, although, wow. I know now why people make such a big deal of it." He chuckled at that. "But you know, the other night we talked for a really long time and he was funny and charming. He's not gloomy like..." she stopped herself from saying Angel, he could tell she felt guilty whenever she compared the two, mainly because she felt bad because Angel was coming out on the unfavorable side most often.

"But the things he's done, killing slayers and the railroad spikes..."

"I know, but right now, he's not doing any of that. In LA not only did he not kill me, I think he saved me. It's like he was able to look into me and see I was hurting and he wanted to help me, and did. And while his methods were extreme it worked. I wouldn't be back in town if it weren't for what he did."

"So you're grateful..." The witch began.

"Yes, but that's not what this is. I might not know what it is but I know it's not just sex, or gratitude, or lingering displaced feelings for Angel. I can't tell you why, but it's more than any of that. I care about him, I think about him all the time and I look forward to seeing him. Maybe it is love. It's just so different from anything I had before, he's so different, that I don't know. I think I need time to figure it out."

"I think he loves you." Willow said so quietly he almost couldn't hear it. His jaw clenched. He had come to the same conclusion when he was talking to Willow, he just wasn't ready to tell Buffy yet. Thanks Red, he thought.

"What?" Buffy asked surprised. At least she didn't sound upset by the idea.

"When we were talking, he said..."

"Hey Red!" Spike interrupted, calling casually from the kitchen. "Were you staying for brunch?"

"Um...no, thank you." she yelled back sounding shaken, good she took the hint. "I should probably get going."

The girls quickly said their good-byes, with Buffy again asking Willow to keep her secret for a little while.


End file.
